me and my bf have been dating about 7 months. he says he loves me but wants freedom. i just graduated college and he still has two more years left, so when he goes back to school he wants his freedom. he doesnt want to think of anyone but himself, and it scares his to think that he coudl marry me, bc he told me that i was the kind of girl he would marry and he woudl marry be once he graduated. but the only freedom i've ever tooken away from him is the ability to be with other girls - to date them, i've never gotton jealous or anythign when he just talks and be friends with him. hes freaked out like this before and has broke up with me then he misses me and gets back together... seeing its the summer time, we still have another 2 months b4 he goes back to school and wants the freedom. i dont know what to do. i want to ignore him and see what he does but i just cant. i dont want to get into this relationship deeper if hes just going to end it in a couple months.
2006-06-27 10:49:30 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
babygurl..a man only wants his freedom to do WHATEVER he wants to do and he doesnt want to be tied down..this ties down almost to the other question..i just got out of a relationship with this guy and it made me REALIZE and open my eyes to SOOO MANY things..guys arnt ready to be serious and to have a relationship..yeah its fun..to hang out with a girl..care about a girl..and have sex and many of other things..but when it comes to the long talks and the freedom..serious..parts guys are ready to give up..just like you talking about hes wanting some freedom when he gets back to school..hes thinking about all the other females he can mess with while hes back at school and he wont have to worry about them questioning him...or he doesnt have to worry about any of them while hes in a relationship with them.you see what i am saying..the main key is FREEDOM..guys like that..to do what they want..thats what you said..you let him do whatever he wants other then be with other girls..thats why he wants freedom so he can be with other girls and he doesnt have to worry about hurting you or you questioning his wearabouts..if you give him his freedom and you're NOT his girlfriend..its like you have no say so.you have no reason or no part to question him..you see where i am going with this? my ex...is the same way..i wanted a serious relationship..but he would do these things..saying hes not the relationship type but he would keep trying to be back with me..because he did like me..so he would give it a chance..then eveytime i startd to act crazy and ask too many questions and gett toooo over protective and not wantin him talkin to girls..he started to get distant..and want space and say he just want to be friends..you see what im saying? im sure this guy really cares about you..and yes he will want to make you number 1..and want to marry you but just right now maybe hes not sure..so he wants to check out the other options back at school..and some guys think hey if you can milk to cow for free whats the use of paying for it..right..like you..he's got to pay for you because you're not going to make him have whatever do whatever whenever however and have no questions asked to him..you want a relationship like me..females are more mature then guys..me i want a relationship and the guys i find dont..so you and i are in the same boat..but you know what?! dont give up theres guys out there ...good guys still left that want a relationship not every guy is the same..and when our prince comes..he'll come..and all these experiences and lessons we are going through now is just making us learn from it and open our eyes so we can know what to do better next time..sure you and i are the kinds of woman guys would love to marry..but some guys..most guys who are scared of marriage and a seirous ..or just a relationship period..are scare of that..they want to play the field and see whats out there..then 10 years later they will be searching oprah and whoever else looking for us...watch..lol..but girly..i wish you entirly the best..i think you should let him go..you should find someone else..because why would you want to hold onto a guy that doesnt know what you want? thats like an ancor pulling you down..you're a good girl..you graduated college..i am sure you have alot to offer and many things to give..you should get yourself to gether..your career and everything else and then worry about a guy or him last..a matter afact..hes putting you on the back burner saying he wants freedom..not even thinking of the way you feel about it..you're right why should you keep letting your feelings evolve..when everytime he leaves he wants freedom? babygurl..a man does what you let him do..you let him get freedom everytime he dissapears hes going think its okay and hes going to want it EVERYTIME..i dont understand why you would want to sit here and put up wit that..i wouldnt..you should move on..as hard as it is..you should let him open his eyes and miss you..because he will trust me..hes going to get tired of messing with these females thats giving it up for free..its going to get borring..guys grow out of it its going to be fun for so long..well thats what i think...hope i helped you girly..our prince is out there..dont settle for less...stay with what you want..and dont go backwards..go forwards..this guy told me before..he said that i am young and i should just be "chillen" ..i shouldnt want to be serious and play the field..but you know what i know what i want and im not going to change for anybody..im going to want a serious relationship and i want a boyfriend..and thats what im sure you want..so all im sayng is dont change what you want for no man..dont get confused of what a realationship or what a boyfriend or what the true defintions are because i got confused what a boyfriend/friend was..and it made me learn alot..let me shut up im talking too much..hope you undersatnd my babbling..keep your head up. good luck!
(p.s.i said "freedom to do what he wants to mess with other girls"....but you know what..maybe thats not even it..but maybe thats it and also other things..he may want freedom to do something he knows you're totally against..so he wants to do it..whatever it may be without having to here you say anything about it)hope u figure it all out..
2006-06-28 19:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Calendar_Model 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, what are you looking for from the relationship? If you're looking for a husband, sounds like he's already said 'no' to that, so you might want to take the initiative and wish him well back at school, and get on with your life....I'm sure there's another guy out there that would be interested in what you're after, the sooner you start being honest about what you want and just go for it, the sooner you'll find it. Tell your bf what it is you want, and if he says 'no', say 'see ya'...
2006-06-27 18:03:01 · answer #2 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time, maybe with the next couple of years of school he will learn what "love" is.
Desparately hanging on to someone who says he wants "freedom" is not attractive. There are so very many things that cry out that you should let this jerk have his freedom; something within you doesn't allow you to make the smart move. Take a good look at yourself; self-esteem is not built by hanging on!
2006-06-27 17:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by RunningUte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last thought should guide you. If you get deeper, you'll only hurt yourself more. Start looking at him more lightly so that your feelings are not all about him. Put yourself first. It seems like he's afraid of settling down and having a fun life as a bachelor. You two are at different points in your life right now.
2006-06-27 19:35:23 · answer #4 · answered by starr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude that is the longest question i have ever seen in my life. i can't give you my answer cause i didn't read the question.
2006-06-27 17:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by Chris T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋