How to handle mean children?

Question

I have a family member who's kids are just plain rotten. We both have 3 kids between the ages of 2-7. Her kids are constantly hitting, fighting, screaming at and taking toys away from my kids. My wife and I try to steer away from that type of behavior, but it is tough when they see and experience it all the time with my family members kids. I have tried to say something to her, but she has the "it's just kids being kids" attitude and if I tell one of her kids to stop, she gives me a dirty look or complains about me behind my back. I don't want to stop going to family functions, but it is so stressful I don't ever have a good time. Anyone out there with the same problem? What to do?

Answer 1

Get a steel rod in your back bone dear and tell her, because everyone deserves to have a bruise free child. If you do not stop it, one of your kids are going to give her kids a good doing over because people allowed it to fester too long so you best get going the next time you see it happening. Do not allow your children to be abused in any manner by anyone!!!

Answer 2

It's not fair but for a few family functions you & your family should stay home. You're not having a good time anyway so what have you lost? I think I would let the family member who's home the function is being held why you and your family aren't going to be able to attend. Maybe you'll have to pick just 1 or 2 things every year to attend. You could always host a function yourself and not invite her.

Answer 3

I have a similar problem. I have 3 wonderful girls. They are polite, kind and I receive compliments about them often. I have 2 sisters with a total of 1 niece and 3 nephews. All of them are rotten. They are mean and hateful even to adults. What's more amazing is the adults in my family except this and have expected my children (even though younger) to bow down to these tirants. I live next door to my parents so I see the family often. My girls cry about grandma and the rest not doing anything about the other childrens' mean actions. I've spoken up but it does no good. They (like you said) talk behind your back and in my case, in front of me. I try to go out when they visit my parents but I can't all the time. It is a shame! But, our children will benefit in the long run. It's hard in today's society to find kind children anymore. The respect is gone.

Answer 4

This plan is sensible... but only works in the right situation, and you have to stick through it to make it work.

If you actually witness her kids bullying your children, put a stop to it and discipline them slightly (harsh word and a slap on the hand usually does it here). When they run to "tattle-tell" their mom, be right there when it happens, and firmly explain your side of the story. Tell her that her child's behavior is not acceptable around your children and until they straighten up, they aren't welcome to play with their cousins (or whatever relation).

In other perspectives, try to limit the time your kids and her children visit with each other-as their bad behavior may rub off on your kids. If this happens, discipline them quickly, and limit the visiting even more.
If she and her kids spend more time at your house, you make the rules about how the kids should act. Just say "I don't allow that behavior in my house", etc.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Hey this has gone on with my husbands physcho brothers wife and their 3 kids. The boys are ANIMALS the girl is a brat.. They made them that way..
The elder has tried to hurt my older daughter for years... 9 flippin years.. at EVERY gathering.. my husband would NOT step in.
His family knew but they know that his brothers wife is a mental case so they want to keep peace.

It is still going on............. they are like in 10, 6, 4 grades for God sake..

ONly because of me.. we see each other once or twice a year.
Once my mother in law dies some day. I WILL NEVER see those ROTTEN BRATS!!!!

My advice... you are to keep your kids from them.. I use to keep my kids in a different room and LEAVE early.. Also tell the kids to STAY AWAY FROM them... I had LONG talks before each family get together. My mother in law is very controlling.. God helped us by MOVING US away..............far away..that is why we see those animals and the physcho and the husband with no balls once or twice a year.. TG
It is going to get worse... trust me.. The kid only had it out for my older one.. cuz my sister in law was jealous of her.. and told her son to hurt and hit her before the family functions...
You do not have that.

I went to a Minister counselour... years ago.. He told me my husbands family were wrong.. for HIDING IT... and told me to protect my daughter(s) that is what God put us here to do.

Protect yours.... 2-7

Answer 6

Listen Yor children come first how do you think they feel having to put up with this. if you feel unconfortable hows about them oh please speak up when the time arises so that everybody can see what your complaining about then maybe it will bring some sense to this uneducating mother.
Remember kids are our smaller version of the parent. You are a teacher, policeman, all rolled up into the word PARENT now remember that ! Do your duty protect and serve!

Answer 7

I agree with Pretty Pixie. You can't control what others are going to do. I'm sure other family members would agree with you, but they're probably just putting up with it. Maybe you can just go to half of the family functions.

Answer 8

Tell the family member that you dont want your kids influenced by bad behaivor. if she gives you the same attitude, stay away from her for a few months, then see how they are.

Answer 9

I've have always found that if you back hand the crap out of one kid in a group, the rest fall in line real quick. Hope it works. Skull Draging and Drop Kicking are effective too.

Answer 10

Unfortunately you can't tell her how to raise her kids. You have to just deal with it or not go.