....that i say....she gets defensive when i try to talk about my feelings about my and her relationship.....she says she is not going to change the way she is and she thinks that there is just something wrong with me.....if something is important to me, she throws her opinion at me, and if i dont like her opinion, she gets mad and says im ungrateful......i dont know how to have a good relationship with her when she is not understanding, and she has completely drained MY emotional bank account....without even making an effort to make a deposit!!! what do i do....i have to live with her until i can get out on my own....any suggestions...???
2006-06-27 10:14:16 · 7 answers · asked by anon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let me guess. Your mom's a baby boomer, right?
I'm sorry. If she's trying to be your friend instead of your mom, she's not accepting her adulthood. There's not much you can do to change that. You're going to have to tough it out until you can get your own place.
2006-06-27 10:22:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really agree with BonesofaTeacher. Another thought is to take some time to write her a loving letter. Describe your desires for a healthy relationship, accept your part of the blame for problems and be very honest but, most of all, loving.
Leave it for her to read when you are at school or work.
2006-06-27 10:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by RunningUte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you and she should get conseluing together to try to work through your problems. She seems to be having trouble understanding where you are coming from. It would be a good idea to talk to someone neutral, like a conselour or perhaps a trusted friend.
2006-06-27 10:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try asking your mom more questions. get her opinions by redirecting the question to her while having a pleasant conversation. she'll feel she's getting her points across to you and you may actually learn something. you may even come to like your mother as a friend.
2006-06-27 10:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by lowIQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
understand that's your mom and really she thinks she doing well by you even if you don't see it.Sounds like she takes for granted that at an older age you'll understand her reasoning be glad she wants to be your friend and try a different approach in confiding in her
2006-06-27 10:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by sandy v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to tell her your feelings. Just tell your feelings to your friends. And START trying to listen to her and understand her feelings. In other words, give her what you want. Just listen and understand her. Don't expect her to listen to you or understand you. She obviously needs someone to understand her. Go to your friends to be understood.
2006-06-27 10:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her read this question. I'm sure she has no idea you feel this way and would change it if she knew.
2006-06-27 10:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋