My married 17 year old step-daughter wants me to babysit her 1 year old but ever since my 6 year old entered school I'm enjoying my free time. I work part time and in my free time I'm very involved in my church and taking care of her will be a burden. I don't want to have more children cause I enjoy my free time but this feels like having kids all over again! She doesn't have to work but is working against her husbands will, she doesn't pay her current babysitter on time and is very irresponsible with her finances, i.e. bounced checks. Why should I have to babysit when she's the one who didn't take care of herself and got pregnant? I'm only 30, I love my step-granddaughter but don't think it's fair that I have to put my life on hold to take care of her! Also, I have a feeling my husband is going to be offended that I don't take care of the baby! I asked my friend if she would take care of her and she doesn't want to either, both because she wants free time and she doesn't pay on time!
2006-06-27 09:44:18 · 12 answers · asked by Wiser now 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No. Don't be obligated to babysit. I work full time and don't expect my parents to babysit for me. And they are both retired!! But then again I am 27 and understand that they worked their whole lives and need some time to relax.
This is YOUR life. You have a child and work. Even if it is part time it's not like you are sittin on your butt doing nothing.
I would not even give her excuses and all that crap. Just sit her down. Say you are a woman now. You are married and have a child. You have responsibilities and need to deal with them on your own. Offer to babytsit sometimes (whenever you want) or that you will watch the baby every once in a while so that they can go on dates,etc. Something like that.
This is your life honey, you work hard. Your time is your time!
2006-06-27 10:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I think you should do ( in a nice way) is explain that she has to be more responsible, and in doing so she has to learn how to solve her own problems, i.e. paying her bills, her babysitter, and finding a babysitter. Second, I think if your husband is so concerned about who is watching the baby, you should suggest that he take time away from what he does and what he enjoys and and watch him or her. That way he'd be forced to consider the fact that you have a life too.
Working against her husband's will? Good for her. Why should she not work just because her husband says no? If she was old enough got pregnant and married, I'm sure she's old enough to make the decision of working or not on her own.
No, I don't think you should feel OBLIGATED to babysit. Offer to babysit when YOU feel that you want to do that. The next time you are pushed to babysit, jokingly ask your step-daughter if your role is grandmother or babysitter. Because if it's babysitter, she has to repay your services, and if it's grandmother, then you'll let her know when babysitting is convenient for you.
For you, I think it is a little immature to bring up the fact that she "didn't take care of herself and got pregnant". That sounds like something you say to someone you're angry at, not someone you claim to love and care for. If your step daughter straightens up and in the future asks you to babysit, I don't think it would be too much to ask for you to consider the idea, instead of complaining about how you have your own life. Because after all, you may need her help someday.
2006-06-27 17:05:40 · answer #2 · answered by dani 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she assumed that you were going to watch her child, let her know that you are busy. You are not obligated to watch her child. If your husband gets offended, tell him to babysit.
If you initially agreed to babysit, you'll have to give her some time to find someone else to babysit or quit her job, but do give her a time frame in which to do either, so she won't take too much time.
Let her know that if she's old enough to have a child, she's old enough to take responsibility of this child. Hopefully she won't have anymore children until she learns how to take care of this one.
2006-06-27 17:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, this is not your responsiblity. She chose to be irresponsible & have a baby & you should not be made to feel guilty or obligated to babysit. This is between her & her husband. You have a right to your free time. She needs to realize that & either quit her job or find some other alternative other than relying on a kind--hearted step-mom.
2006-06-27 16:53:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from in a way. Just tell her you are not interested in becoming the "babysitter" but have no problem watching her on occasion. As far as saying she will be a "burden" I think is very selfish of you!
2006-06-27 17:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. just because she cant pay her bills on time doesnt mean that you should have to put your life on hold.
2006-06-27 17:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say no and if she asks why, simply say that you have a busy schedule.
I would say that I don't do diapers, but that wouldn't work for you since you already have a kid.
2006-06-27 16:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by Kovneva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you shouldnt. if you want to spend a day with her as you guys time then yeah do it but she needs to be more responsible and if you rhusband cant respect your feelings then there is a whole nother issue
2006-06-27 16:55:31 · answer #8 · answered by jls91380 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should feel obligated to babysit. As long as those are not your kids, you don't have to babysit them if you don't want to, so if you don't have to, you shouldn't feel obligated.
2006-06-27 16:48:36 · answer #9 · answered by youngwoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO YOU SHOULDN'T AND IF YOU LET HER GET STARTED, BELIEVE ME AT HER AGE YOU WILL HAVE THE BABY ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE SHE WILL GET TO WHERE SHE LEAVES IT THERE LONGER & LONGER TO HANG WITH FRIENDS OR WHATEVER PROBABLY GETTING PREGANT AGAIN, SHE HAD THE BABY SHE SHOULD TAKE CARE OF IT.IF HER DAD GETS MAD, LET HIM TELL HIM IT'S NOT YOUR RESPONSIABLITY.
2006-06-27 17:07:16 · answer #10 · answered by lilacangelgrammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋