He whines and cries when he doesn't get his way. He is very stubborn. Right now I am trying to ignored him. I have tried talking to him, I have explained he will not get his way, He has to grow up he is not a baby. When he starts I send him to his room. Trust me I check on him 20 min later and he is still at it. I am getting old, all the whinning drives me crazy, it is very frustating. What can I do?
2006-06-27 09:24:48 · 25 answers · asked by Kelly,TX 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Leave him in his room, and close the door. Tell him he can open the door when he stops crying. Works every time. My daughter hates to be shut off from us. It's not cruel, it's a rule, no crying allowed in the other parts of the house, unless there is a good reason for it (got hurt, something sad on TV, etc). If its just crocodile tears, they have to be shed in their bedroom with the door shut. It doesn't take long for them to stop lol.
2006-06-27 10:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by TellMeMore 3 · 8⤊ 0⤋
First, what usually sets off these whining and crying episodes? It could be something specific. Is there something going on at the home or something else in his life that may be bothering him?
If that's not the culprit, have you been giving into to his crying at all? You have to be firm ALL of the time, not just 98%. Don't even go to check on him if you can still hear him crying. I have a 4 year old and what seems to work is I will take toys away and when I dole out punishment, I follow through with it, whether it be no toys, no playtime, or a spanking.
Good luck.
2006-06-27 09:32:31 · answer #2 · answered by searchin4evr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep making sure this behavior never gets him what he wants.
Don't send him to his room or ignore him. This only gives him time to dwell on how unfair he feels you are treating him. Instead keep him next to you and have him do what you are doing. If you are dusting, he should help. If you are cooking dinner, he should be setting the table. Get the idea? Get him involved in doing big boy things, like helping out instead of acting like a little boy and whining. Make sure and praise your little helper for being such a big boy.
Also be sure he is getting enough sleep. Little ones tend to whine and cry more when they are tired. Is he getting at least 10-11 hours?
2006-06-27 16:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he feels like he is not being heard.
Make sure you are listening as much as you are talking.
Tell him you can't understand what he is saying when he creis so you can't talk to him about a solution until he stops crying and starts talking...a few little sniffles doesn't count as crying in the beginning so try to listen and be patient and try it a few times before you give up.
Give him a 6 minute time out at the most before going and talking to him. Tell him if he can calm down then you can talk to each other. If he tries to calm down (give him a minute or 2 or try and give him your undivided attention, also tell him to breath in for 5 seconds, hold it for 5 seconds, then breath out for 5 seconds and you do it with him) then let him talk and tell you what happened. Ask him why he did what he did and how does he think it made (whoever) feel, listen to his answer. Explain to him gently that he can't always have what he wants and why in this case he can't. Offer him something else and ask if wants that. Before he leaves ask him to apologize for his behavior and make sure you give him a hug and accept his apology. Then drop the incident.
Do not ignore him or hit him, that will only make it worse.
As soon as he realizes that talking to you works (you have to give a little and reward him for using words, lots of praise and I'm proud of you's!) then he will stop yelling and keep talking...but you must listen to him.
Good Luck, you are doing your best and you are trying to help your child...keep it up.
2006-06-27 09:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by az 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try getting down to his level and talking to him if it does not work i would give him a time out til he stops then have him say sorry for crying and whining for no reason try to get him to know that if he talks to you and asks the for things in a different matter he might get it but you have to be firm and do not give in to the crying be tough let him calm down then talk to him i do not believe in sending a child to a room for so long try 6 to seven minutes in a chair in the dinning room or any other room but not his bedroom he has toys and things that he can play with and things that can distract him so i would find a place were he can think about what he has done
2006-06-27 09:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by JAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to distract him from what he's whining about (not reward him) and once he stops, explain to him that it hurts your ears when he does that. Next time he does it, it hurts your ears and you can't listen until he stops.
Also when you talk to him get down to his level so you are both eye to eye.
Try giving him more attention in the day (that worked for my son, but he's only 2). I was busy with the baby all the time and realized I needed to really take time to be with him one-on-one more often throughout the day. It really does make a difference.
"And this too shall pass"
2006-06-27 09:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't send him to his room. Send him to the most boring place in the house. Make him stay there for 6 minutes, but let him know he will be able to come out in six minutes only if he is calm and has apologized for what he has done. Check back in six and give him an opportunity to be done. If he is not ready repeat until he is, but make sure the place you send him has no entertainment.
2006-06-27 09:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by miss_trita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has learned that if he acts out long and hard enough he WILL get his way. Do NOT give in. Let him cry...in his room and tell him he MAY not come out until he is ready to behave. Don't talk to him at all while he is in there. Don't stand at the door and say "Jonny, are you done yet?" Tell him point blank....go to your room. you may come out when YOU are ready. If he comes out before he is ready to act right....send him back. It will be hard....you might have to go to your room and scream too....but stay strong on EVERYTHING.....you have to retrain him.. This can't be a new behavior......so now you have to fix it.
Good luck....and you can do it! And on behalf of others who will have to be around him when he is an adult....thank you for seeing the error of your ways and correcting it now.
2006-06-27 09:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by adnerb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..coping with tantrums can be difficult..but you can do it!
I suggest that first you have to consider his temperament history. Has he always thrown tantrums to get what he wants? Has he sometimes succeeded? If so..than he has learned that whining and crying WILL get him what he wants eventually. I would suggest contacting a Parenting Coach..and working on a supportive plan that will get him to stop tantruming.
If this behavior hasn't been rewarded..perhaps he should be screened by a doctor for his behavior. It might not be related to being "spoiled" and might be related to a medical issue.
Please contact me if I can help further.
2006-06-27 19:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My child was a little spoiled and always had it his way. I thought I was just helping him, doing for him, giving what he likes because I love my child. I did not know he was being spoiled.
One day he could not have what he wanted and really blew-up like I have never seen before. To me it was funny, I started to laugh and acting like him (kicking, rolling around, etc). He stopped, turned red and looked a bit embarrassed watching me acting like him. That was the only time he every acted up.
I do not know if it is good or bad for the child, but it sure worked for mine (by accidence).
2006-06-28 09:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by timer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋