Need a Joke?...My Boyfriend is in a really bad mood, need a joke to make him laugh.?

Question

Thanks! :)

Answer 1

Who's in charge here?

All the parts of the body where having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.


"I should be in charge" said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, and without me, nothing would happen."


"I should be in charge" said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."


"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."


"I should be in charge" said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."


"I should be in charge" said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."


"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for all the body waste."


All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.


They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.


The moral of the story?

The a_s_s_hole is usually the one in charge.

Answer 2

Okay, this one is really funny. My Gf told me this yesterday:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."

Answer 3

Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Answer 4

what did the parrot say to his white master

want some cheese on that cracker