My friend wants me to ask you guys this question, thanks:
I have been dating a guy very casually for about a month and a half. I say very casually because we only see each other once a week or less. We have different work schedules and both have stressful lives. I have two kids and work 40 hours a week. He is working 70+ hours, 6 days a week. He is looking for a job where we could have more quality time together. We have agreed to take things slowly (i.e. no sex). We think about each other all day. We both have confessed how much we love each other. I had no idea that a love like this could exist.
I would love to talk to him everyday, just to see how his day went, but I don't want to nag him. We haven't talked in four days, as he told me that he would call me. He has mild depression and is shy, he also gets embarrassed easily.
How can we keep our relationship going? I don't want to smother him. I think that he is “the one”.
2006-06-27 07:50:22 · 25 answers · asked by bellacervantes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're obviously both mature adults so a lot of the answers you get may not be mature enough for your situation. You mentioned that this man is shy, embarrasses and suffers some from mild depression. The depression part would concern me with regards to the other two traits in that if he is having a few bad days in a row and avoids calling until he feels more in control of himself then the embarrassment and shyness may become a factor and he will prolong the call even more. This isn't going to grow your lines of communication so I'm thinking, considering his specific personality traits, you may have to take the role of aggressor in pursuing the time you spend together, whether that be in person or on the phone. Obviously with his overfilled work schedule and this tiring him then you would have to use common sense in when and when not to call him. I would suggest you ask him if there are times when the two of you could speak regularly on the phone that wont interfere with his work, time of rest and even his time needed or personal alone time. Once you've established this then you can build on a regular line of communication from there to setting aside specific planned times to be alone together in person. This is going to take work, patience and diligence on both your parts but I just get the feeling that he's not a pursuer but needs to be pursued to get his 'engines' running on all cylinders.
Best Wishes & Good Luck!!
2006-06-27 08:05:44 · answer #1 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pour out to each other via the written word. Either in snail mail, or email. The writing will help the writer. And the reader will find comfort in reading. Thus if both are up to it, should be a pleasureable experience on both sides Whereas either one is able to put any spare time available to good use, by communicating affection for each other, while unable to actually be together.
2006-06-27 15:03:06 · answer #2 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that Love takes time. Also remember that this is not only his relationship but yours as well. You have every right to call him and say hello or just see how his day is going. Don't let it become a one-sided relationship where you have to get into the pattern of waiting for him to contact you. Keep the reins divided and keep an open mind. If it is meant to be...it will!
2006-06-27 14:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's too shy to call you, or too busy. I say call him, talk to him. Four days is way too long. I don't think he would mind a bit. He loves you right? Then what's the big deal. Just as long as you're not calling him every minute, hour or day. Every once in a while is good.
2006-06-27 14:56:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is no easy way. But if you really wanna talk to him send him a text or an e-mail. That's the best. He may not get around to reading it for a while but at least he will know that you are thinking of him. One suggestion also for an e-mail... send him an e-card. They work everytime. Dont stress to much ovr this... if he is truly 'the one' then htings will eventually take it's course.
2006-06-27 14:54:58 · answer #5 · answered by nobody is home 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..my fiancee and i do just as much of that too. we make it work by talking every break we get at work and then the couple hours at night. maybe you both should write letters to eachother about your days and everything that you have done and that way when the time comes to see eachother again you wont have to "waste" tome talking about the past but work on the time you have with eachother...good luck!!!
2006-06-27 14:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Amz87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship Is going and you are doing the right thing.It Is awesome that you accept him the way he Is (depression,I am Bi Polar) and you would not be nagging him.Remember to be your self always ,Love yourself first and If you feel he Is bringing out your best and you can be completly who you are then this is good
2006-06-27 14:59:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him a quick little call and let him know that you were thinking about him. No need to stay on the line or talk too much just a quick hello and I was thinking about you.
If it was me, I would do him the next chance you have.
2006-06-27 15:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a month? and your in love, that sounds way too soon to know anything about the other person, you need to spend more time together and then you will know if he's "the one". Besides you shouldn't be rushing into anything, take your kids into consideration and make your choices with them in mind.
2006-06-27 14:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are not blowing up his cellphone every five minutes you won't be nagging him...send him little flirty emails or cards in the mail..just little things here and there to let him know you are thinking about him, in time, he may return the favor
2006-06-27 14:54:31 · answer #10 · answered by violet1656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋