We lent my married 17 year old step-daughter and her 23 year old husband over $800 to move into a fully furnished apartment and pay off their old cell phone disconnecting fees. This was back in march and they haven't paid back a penny. He gets paid from $400 - $500 a week TAKE HOME and only pay us $100 a month for their cell phone charges. A friend of mine takes care of their 7 month old but when time to pay comes there's always an excuse and they don't pay her. My step-daughter has been secretly spending all the money he and she make together and are being very irresponsible with their finances and are even bouncing checks. I know she had a tough life growing up with a greedy and incompetent mother but does this give her the right not to pay us back? We're upper middle class but have hospital bills to pay cause we don't have insurance. I asked my husband if he was going to talk to them about what they owe and he said "he does cut our lawn for us". Am I being unreasonable?
2006-06-27 07:34:43 · 9 answers · asked by Wiser now 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm confused. Why are they giving you 100 a month for there cell phone charges? Is the contract in your name? If thats the case cancel the phone after the contract is up and tell them to get there own contract. Also I would tell the women who takes care of there kid that if she's not being paid not to do it. If everyone stops tippytoeing around them maybe they will learn some responsability. Stupid to get married at 17 to begin with. She's acting like a child because she is one. She needs to grow up.
2006-06-27 07:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by mackey208 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you don't force them to at least be responsible by paying you back then it will never stop. My sister was always like that and people helped her out all the time. Well she sure did get help she had a full walk in closet with brand new clothes, tags still on half of them. But she never had any money? Those people don't learn because they don't have any clue or don't care about their priorities. You know. I wanted to help my sister before but i knew how she was and it wouldn't help. I didn't talk to her for two years, now i just gave her 500.00 dollars to get her boyfriend out of jail for child support and i bought her groceries and other stuff. She had a child when she was 16 and took care of him all alone until he was 8. Gave the father a chance to take care of him so she could go to college. Well guess what she hasn't seen him in 3 years, owes 8,000.00 on child support, became a stripper, owes 20,000.00 in college because she dropped out TWICE. She is now 29 and just now getting the hang of RESPOSIBILITY and PRIORITIES. Now i go to her house and she has no nothing but she is trying and putting money on what is needed not wanted. But i don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Your step daughter should not be spending all her money and not paying her dues. Plus why are you paying for their cell phones? Why shouldn't they pay their babysitter? If they are responsible enough to move out get married and have a baby what do you think .... not being rude just down to earth . I hope i helped you . Just talk to them and let them know that they need to GROW UP. I mean it i am only 21 married and have had my priorities straight since i moved out when i was 16 went to school to be a certified nursing assistant worked about 110 hours every two weeks( 2 days off a month with out picking those days up too) and did what was important. I never had my hair or nails done until i was 20 and had little to no personal girly stuff and my sister wanders why she is 7 years older and still hasn't got her **** together excuse my french. But i worked hard and did't mess around and be irrespossible. So i have my own house now and it will be paid off in 10 years. I hope i have helped you a little thank you.
2006-06-27 15:36:30 · answer #2 · answered by amanda_engelhart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short answer: You are not being unreasonable. They should pay you back.
Long answer:
First of all, call the hospital, get the forms to fill out for financial hardship. If you are accurate and honest, chances are they will write off your bill if you don't have any insurance. The very least they will do is give you a payment plan, if you pay $5 per month they can't send you to collections. (I work in healthcare, I know these things)
Second, your husband is enabling his daughter and son-in-law, but you can't really force him to make them accountable or force them to return the money or pay the babysitter. It is definitely time for a little tough love. Think about what you CAN do. S/A 1) Insist on never lending money to them until they pay you back. 2) Tell your friend to stop sitting for them if they don't pay her. 3) Let it go and learn from it. 4) Instead of asking your husband "if" he is going to talk to them, explain to him that the two of you are short and can't afford hand-out and ask him "to" talk to them about repayment.
2006-06-27 15:21:59 · answer #3 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A loan is a loan is a loan. Perhaps you should have laid out the terms of repayment up front. Sounds like your step daughter has adopted some of her mothers traits.
As far as the child care issue...I believe your friend should stop watching their child. Obviously your step daughter takes it for granted and needs to learn some responsibility and appreciation.
Granted she is only 17, she is old enough to be married and have a child. You need to explain to them you will be pushing them off the dock and they need to swim or sink.
Bouncing checks? She needs to understand that her entire life is going to depend on a decent credit rating. Aparently she has no clue. Could be a rough ride.
2006-06-27 14:48:01 · answer #4 · answered by frontmann2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being unreasonable. Cutting your lawn isn't enough. Unless he does it all the time for the rest of his life. Your husband really should talk to your step daughter. She needs to learn some responsibility and quick. Imagine if this goes on and how it will affect that child. What will the child grow up to be like like if mommy and daddy don't learn some responsibility to teach their child.
2006-06-27 14:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by jdc591 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being unreasonable. In fact, if you keep letting them use you, they will continue to do so.
I would first, get your husband on board that this is not right. Lay out the facts, and tell him it would be a different situation if you knew they were doing all they could, and being responsible and still could not pay you.
They are essentially stealing from you, and learning that mistreating you pays!
2006-06-27 14:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would write it off because realistically, you'll never get it back. But I would explain this to them in a signed-for registered letter explaining further that because of this, you'll NEVER help them again, even if either one is starving and living on the street. You have to help create values in them by not subsidizing their bad behavior and you owe it to them to explain this. Don't feel guilty or angry, just do it!
2006-06-27 14:45:40 · answer #7 · answered by oldbuckhorn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you arent and I would cut them off financially! This is ridiculous behavior and if she thinks she is old enough to be married then she should be old enough to pay her bills. If things start to get cut off and repossessed then maybe they will learn! If your husband doenst agree then I would separate the bank accounts and keep my earnings to myself and let him be broke!
2006-06-27 14:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course they should. But they're without character. Take them to Judge Judy. Or her nearest branch. Shame on them.
2006-06-27 14:43:23 · answer #9 · answered by rachelframecory 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋