I'm a teenager in need of a parent/adult point of view of my parents situation?

Question

my parent have been fighting for as long as I can remember. abouta year ago it got really bad and my mom wanted a seperation. but she didn't. my dad said he'd change but he's back to what he's been doing. My mom says he has a gambling problem. he goes to OTB (horse racing) alot but says he never bets alot of money. My moms argument is that since my family isn't rich and always needs loans, he should save up that money little by litttle. he calls it his hobby. is it a hobby or addiction? i feel like they're always trying to make me take sides but i don't know what to do. I see faults in both of them but the faults don't have to do with the realy problem. is it a safe hobby or does he have a gambling problem

Answer 1

gambling is an addiction. he needs help. tell your mom or you can go online. oh better yet talk to a social worker. help is out there for your dad.

Answer 2

I am by no means an expert, but I will say this. If your Dad goes to the Race track often it's probably more than a hobby. Gambling is just as much an addiction as Alcohol and drugs. And most people will deny they have a problem until they hit what people call Rock bottom. I feel bad that you are stuck in the middle of this situation. and your right trying not to take sides. Since you have access to the internet why don't you use your search engine to look stuff up. You don't have to have a specific name for a website, just type in gambling problem and see what comes up. You'll be amazed how many ways you can find answers. and I believe that Dr. Phil has a website too. Are you familiar with him? he has his own talk show. I hope I was able to help you a little. And remember if your Dad is a compulsive gambler try not to be too harsh on him. It is a real sickness.

Answer 3

I don't know if it is a gambling problem or something he just absolutely loves to do.. can he stop going if other things come up like.. responsibilities... an important date for your family or issues that need to be handled by him... can he give it up for that time or does going to the horse races oversee that? If he has to go to the races and miss important events or responsibilities then he has a problem.
He also must realize that bills are a responsibility and putting money down on the horses is not a good thing and he is not being responsible at all. Learn from him and try not to make the same mistakes your parents make.

Answer 4

If your family does not have the money to gamble, and he's gambling, then he's addicted. An old adage says, only gamble what you can afford to lose. I think you have a good viewpoint that all people have faults and you shouldn't take sides. But she has a point. Rather than asking you to take sides, she should stand up and ask for a separation.

Answer 5

You poor dear child, this is not a problem that should be on your shoulders. Teenagers have enough to deal with as it is, without having to deal with the problems in their parents marriage. Shame on Mom and Dad for putting you in the middle of this ugly mess. Yes honey, gambling is an addiction and needs to be dealt with as any other illness would be. But, you are just a teenager and should be dealing with all the things that are going on in your life right now, such as the changes that you are going through and the difficulties that are facing you right now, and even trying to enjoy some of your teen years while you can. Dad needs to take responsibility for his actions and Mom needs to stop allowing him the freedom to continue this behavior. But, above all, both your parents should be sheltering you from the problems they are facing in their marriage, and not bringing you into the mix, to play referee or to take sides for them. Tell Mom and Dad that it is time for them to seek counseling, both marriage, and possibly gambling addiction for dad, and then try to remember all the reasons they married in the first place, try to remember the love and compassion they felt for each other back then and see if they can find a way back to it. As for you honey, I hope you have someone you can talk to, who will listen to you, when you need to talk, and who will talk to you and give you advise when you need it. Maybe an aunt or close relative who can be there for you. Good Luck to You.

Answer 6

as a teenager, I'm very sorry to hear you are going through this. it's really unhealthy, not just for him, but for you and your mom. there are a few outcomes that may come of a divorce. first, he may quit it in order to gain the two of you back, but if it is truly an addiction, he won't. second, he could be pushed over the edge and begin gambling a lot more, and in time, he may get hurt if he doesn't save enough money. third, he might be unaffected in the gambling area, just emotionally, or he might become too depressed to gamble.

Answer 7

Your father has a gambling problem because that is what they do at horse racing. You should ask him one day if you can go with him and you can see for yourself what he is doing. Then you can sit down and talk to him about it and tell him how you feel about him gambling. You can also tell him that he shouldn't be wasting the family money that he could be saving for more important things then gambling it all away. He could be saving money for you to go to college or something else.

Answer 8

He's addicted to gambling. People with addictions will always put that addiction first before family needs. He wants to justify this addiction by referring to it as his hobby. No it's not safe, your mom brought up a good point about always needing loans.

Answer 9

I'm a teen, not a parent, but I think your dad has an addiction, not a hobby. Your mom is right in saying that he should be saving the money, not betting it.

Answer 10

His hobby happens to be his addiction. Take note of the behavior pattern of rationalization and avoidance, so when you have the issue as a grown up you can counter it. There are also ALANON or ALATEEN meetings, usually for teens of alcoholics that would be useful for you. An addiction is an addiction. Stay clear, get good grades so you can get into a good college, and get a good job, and move on. Love them both, but you don't have to love their choices.