Healthy sexual appitite or going lesbian??????

Question

ok, this is weird: im attracted to my friend and its not a guy!! I dont know what to do. I was raised as a muslim and that is not permitted: i need advice and i would not like answers that says "get professional help" because i have done that and that didnt work. I like this chick, and i dont want to tell her either becuase she dont go that way but neither do i but, i dont know what to think. i dont want to offend her and embarras myself. Is it a healthy sexual appitite (if there is one) or am i losing my mind because i'm afraid of going to hell for liking someone of the same sex and i dont have a boyfriend!?! I have nothing against anyone's opinions or sexual orientation, but i just need help on this question.

*Note: i dont want a relationship with her at all, but i LOVE men - alot might i add - but its just maybe its just a physical attraction?

**another note: i know im not gay but (dammit theres always a but) all i want to do is explore, I dont want to marry her or anything, i just wanna do her thats all. Is that bad?

***EVERY ANSWER THAT I GET IS GREATLY APPRICIATED. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULES TO ANSWER MY QUESTION. I WISH I COULD CHOOSE ALL OF YOUR ANSWERS AS BEST ANSWERS.
and another thing, please dont try to covert me to any other religion. PLEASE!

Answer 1

Normal. Next!

Answer 2

Well first off, Love has many faces. Most people think that same sex couples are not "pure" but this is not true. That is the problem now-a-days. It is the lack of Love in the first place. It doesn't matter what you do, but just as long as you are fully there in the moment being Love.

So I say, don't condemn yourself because someone else thinks its a "sin" or something wrong. Keep in mind that they are doing the worst in the first place. They are already condemning you. Condemning is a type of killing. For this, they are most likely killing themselves in the first place.

If something resonates within your heart well, then who cares what others think. It is their problem they have created. They are the ones that are getting upset - getting worried over the issure, not because of you. All you need to do is follow your heart. If you need to drop everything, then go for it. Your heart is always top priority. If you don't follow your heart, you are only saying you wish to die, for your heart is the basis of Life its self.

So if you are worried about going to hell, forget about it, for you have loved. There is no need for anything else. You have loved that that is all it counts.

Most people make things difficult about this kind of stuff. They bring all these ideas and concepts into the picture. They worry about this and that, but there is one thing they forget when thinking about any situation. If it resonates in your heart, do it. Do it without question because you know it is good for your heart. If it doesn't resonate with your heart, then just cast it aside and move on. Just remember to see if your heart is fully with this, not something as a lust. Lust is only in the mind, not the heart. I hope this helps out. I wish you best of luck on this situation. No doubt it is not an easy right-goal to bring about in the given situation. Cheers!

(To answer your last question about asking if doing her is bad or not -- Doing someone or not is not the concern. It is only an action, seperate from the opinion. If you want to do this - or experience anything, really, you just need to make sure you are doing it for the sheer joy of it while not being attached. If you are being attached, that is where it gets ugly - that is where you must realize to either become unattached or move on. You learned, you experienced, you have enjoyed the moment. Isn't that what all matters?)

I tried to email you back but I was unable to reply because you have not confirmed your account -- if you would like, email me.

[e-mail]

I look forward to hearing from you J.

Cheers!

Answer 3

Women are the gentler sex. There is nothing wrong with having these feelings. It's hard to not have these feelings when you get along better with someone of the same sex. I think the root of it is that you find her attractive (women are beautiful), get along with her ( you are friends), have a lot in common, and don't have a boyfriend right now (so you're a bit sexually frustrated). It isn't that big of a deal. You are not a lesbian unless you find yourself acting on these impulses and liking it more than with a guy.

Answer 4

I can't help on the Muslim or going to hell part.
I can tell you that my own "experimental phase" was just part of a normal sexual appetite. I tried it, and found out that although I like to flirt and play at being bi, I'm straight, and so is she. It helps that I had someone who I have such a strong bond and trust with that it didn't hurt our friendship later and she's still my best friend.
Your options are to forget about it and get over it and put it out of your mind, OR talk openly with her, and say that you're trusting her with a secret & you don't want things to get weird between you but you wanted her to know, OR get her drunk and make a pass at her. You know yourself and her better than we do, so you know which one will work best...but the 3rd is the most likely to lead to weird feelings between you two later.

Answer 5

You are probably just confused about your feelings for your friend. You are taking a true love for the friendship and turning it into a love for her. I think that happens with a lot of women and a lot don't want to admit it. I know that has happened to me before and I am a happily married woman with 4 kids. Look deep into the relationship and see if its her or the relationship with her that is got you confused. I would bet to say that your in love with the relationship and that is a great place to be in.

Now, a lot of people won't agree with me on this issue, but if you are going to be gay, then that is what is going to happen. It is in your genes and not in your mind. No religion is going to stop that from happening. It is just going to make you miserable for the rest of your life if you are gay and don't go with your instincts.

Answer 6

The Bible states that thinking about sin is as bad as sinning. I'm not sure if Muslims also think this way.

There is a chance that you are bisexual and are trying to suppress these feelings due to religious dogma. The biggest problem is not going to hell it is alienating your friends and family. If you want to experiment with the same sex it is unlikely your friend will play ball. Of course she could be bisexual too and just not telling you.

Answer 7

the sin is in your mind. only you have the power to condemn yourself. if your friend isn't interested in girls, look elsewhere to experiment. you may not like it after all. i can tell you that there are things you can get from women that guys just don't get. the emotional depth, for one thing. it is a healthy sexual appetite if your interested. some people say its a sickness. i say there are beautiful women out there, how can anyone not notice. it's about what you need. try it, maybe talk to your friend about how you feel. not necessarily include her part, just generalize. maybe she's not telling you everything either.

Answer 8

You may just be attracted to her because of how close you are to her. May be she has the characteristics you are looking for in a guy. Don't worry about it unless she becomes the only thing you can think about, if that happens you may want to tell her that you admire her or something like that. If you feel the need to tell her, go about it like an adult, and explain how you feel.

Answer 9

Just because you were raised to believe that
Liking someone of the same sex is wrong,
Doesn't necessarily mean it is.
You can't help the way you feel about someone, or something.
Do whatever makes you comfortable.
You're not losing your mind.

Answer 10

If you like another woman, you can't change that. If you consider it a sin in your religion, you can choose not to act on those feelings, but you can't make the feelings go away. I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but I am not Muslim.

Answer 11

Well if you continue to act upon those feelings you will only go deeper. The only way to get rid of sin is to bring good in, the only way to get rid of dark is to let light in. Yes you may have feelings but that doesn't mean you have to choose to act upon those feelings, You still have agency, choice to choose what you know what is right.