How do you define giving someone too much space?

Question

How much is too much? How much is not enough? If you are in a dating relationship.

Answer 1

You both have to meet 50/50. Talking about it is the best way. Do other things to fill your time but if you feel like he isn't giving enough then move on.

Answer 2

Giving too much space is qualitative. If you are out of someone's live to the point they wonder if you care or want them to keep in touch with you, then you have gone too far. It is not measured in time, but in community. The actual time is not as relevant as what you do when you are together. Keep that in mind as you work on the situation. But don't accept the responsibility for setting the parameters of the "space" someone is looking for or you will find you are wrong no matter what you do. If someone asks for space but is serious about keeping the relationship then they are the only one that can define it. All you can do is ask and accept what they tell you. If it means no calls until they contact you...so be it. If it only means "give me a day or two to myself each week", go with that. The best way to give someone proper space is to make sure they know you respect them and their feelings.

Answer 3

This is an emotional trap in my opinion. There are some folks who want others to set up all the boundaries and make the decision so that the other person involved does not have to be responsible for their actions in a relationship. Whatever happened to having a simple discussion before or during the dating stage that helps both folks to know what's really going on? The person or persons invovled need to say what is honestly needed in their mind.

Answer 4

If you are a rational human being who loves solitary time, yet loves sharing time with people this will not be a difficult question to answer.

If you are a clinging vine and needy to the point of neglecting yourself it may take a while.

If you are so much in love with someone you just want to be around them, because being around them makes you feel special, then you may find it difficult to understand how much space to give someone.

Let's just assume you don't know about space and take it from there.

Remember in grade school when your fitness instructor told you to raise your arms to the side, allowing you enough space to do whatever exercises were required? That's not enough space. That is just natural body space that everyone should be afforded as their right.

People who invade that space are usually intruding in other's comfort zone. Unless invited into that comfort zone by intimacy or a handshake or hug, it is usuall too close to be uninvited.

When someone says they want more space, it usually means time and space, not just room. It generally means you don't have to call them every day to hear their voice or to know how they are. They are free to call you for a change to inquire how you are or to hear "your" voice.

People don't usually ask for space until they have been crowded, which means someone in the relationship is a tad needy. When I say needy it means that your self worth needs improving. It means you love that individual more than yourself. It means you'd rather be with them, than by yourself.

To improve that, they ask for space, which means now is the time to get to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you will give others imperfect love. Loving yourself is not conceited in this case - self preservation is a natural inclination of all humans. If you do not want to hurt yourself then, you should also care about yourself enough to please yourself - not masturbate (unless that's what you want to do). By pleasing yourself, I mean that you don't neglect to get that shirt or pants or shoes or jewelry or splurge at a concert or anything you can afford for your own amusement. Expecting others to complete you is selfish and self deprecating - which gives people a clue that you have low self esteem. More importantly, no one wants to be around someone who doesn't like their own company.

Ever meet the person who needs someone to go to the store, movies, museum, art exhibit with. They don't like going alone? Those are people that need to have someone tell them to go alone and learn to love it.

Too little space is when someone asks for more space and you call them 15 minutes later and ask whether they had enough yet.

Answer 5

Depends on who asked for it. If you're just trying to seem like you're not overly interested in the other person in order for them to want you more, that could backfire. Show that you're interested, just try not to be overbearing and clingy. It's not hard to tell when you're up somebody's butt and they don't like it.

If they asked for the space and you're ok with it, it's up to them to determine how much is too much. If they start dating somebody else, either they didn't want you anyway or you gave too much space and they drifted away.

Answer 6

Throwing them into the Grand Canyon might be too much.

That's a purely situational thing. Would need much more detail.

Answer 7

When a potential replacement is inside the space.

Answer 8

well going for more than a month is too much

Answer 9

too much space is ignoring them, too little is ignoring their needs!

Answer 10

not enough to have a second relationship on the side...do not sand bag!!!