I think I go out of my way to do things for them and then when I expect them to carry on for themselves they do NOTHING!!! I want the best for them but I guess they don't want it for themselves
2006-06-27 06:30:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Next time a family member wants something from you, immediately let them know what it is that you also need. This way, you're being an example for your family, not an example of your family. :)
2006-06-27 06:38:12 · answer #1 · answered by Abstract 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only help your family members to a point. then you have to ask "Is my helping them hurting me?"
Knowing where to draw the line is important, because you can almost be certain that they may not be there for you when you need help. They have to want to help themselves...you doing it for them is only going to build their dependence on you supporting them. But I caution you to use clear judgement in these matters. You can discern the difference between bumming a pack of smokes and needing money for a transplant.
Having been in your spot before, I wish you well.
2006-06-27 13:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by solpredator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much is when they start dragging you down with them. Picture this; my brother asks me to get a house for him on my name. I say no problem. He says he can pay the mortgage and so on. I say no problem. Guess what, problem. 2 years later, I am have a discussion with him, because mortgage payments are so backed up that they are threatening ME with foreclosure.
This is the last straw for me. No more help. Take care of your self and do little for people who can't maintain themselves. I had to learn the hard way.
2006-06-27 13:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is one of the most important things in our lives! We want to say no but it hurts us inside to not give them what they want. Sometimes we have to suck it up though and do what is right! Dont be afraid of hurting your family if they are constantly using you. If you stand up for yourself they will respect you more because you can say NO! I am very sorry you feel the way you do, but try to talk to them and put your foot down! if you need any more help e mail me at prinsesfelicia@yahoo.com i will be happy to help!
Love
~Prinsesfelicia~
2006-06-27 13:42:43 · answer #4 · answered by labambalove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I have a family like that! Sucks huh? Just try not to do as much! You want the best for them but they could really care less about what is best for them! Then when it comes time for you they don't give a rats as.s!
2006-06-27 13:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are enabling them to do nothing. Circumstances vary, but if they have the ability and don't use it you need to cut back on helping them out. I have a similar problem with a step-daughter. We are weaning her off of outside assistance and it is hard.
2006-06-27 13:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Norm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it time to stop helping. You might not be helping them in the long run, you might be a crutch. Stop helping and see what they do.
2006-06-27 13:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as u keep helping they will never be able to stand on there feet. (Stop helping ) I know it's family but sometim family can bring u waaaaay!!! down.
2006-06-27 18:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by ms.lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP! That's all, you can only do so much. make them do for themselves you are being a crutch, hell they can walk. Next question.
2006-06-27 13:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by nina_ross692000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
giving them what they want with out working for it
2006-06-27 13:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋