HELP SOMEONE my parents wont?

Question

O.k. its me again with the issues with my parents. I have talked to a very close friend shes also older and shes trying to help me Im still confused about if i should go or stay because i feel like the dont care for me im not a trouble maker i do what they ask me to do and it just seems as if they dont care and i believe
that i shouldnt have to go through this but tonight im thinkin about leavin 4 REAL HELP!!!!!!!!

OK in the other question i told you guys that i have self destruction issues and i was aboused as a child not by them but someone else and i have told them about this issue and they told me to get over it they tell me all the time that im too much trouble and that they wish they would have waited. is that enough detail?

Answer 1

Listen kiddo everyone has there own type of hell to live with, running away doesn't solve anything, as a matter of fact it just makes more problems to deal with, i have no doubt that your a tough cookie, but think before you do, just make a list of the benefits of staying or leaving, like a roof over your head, food in your belly, look i ain't trying to take there side, but I've been there done that and bought the t-shirt, i came from a physically abusive home, my dad would beat me bloody after beating on my mom, i thought about running away thousands of times, and one time i really did it 4 days i was gone, my dear old dad reported me as a missing persons, the cops found me in an old trapper cabin up in the woods, half frozen and half starved, but that was nothing compared to what my dad did when we got home, look all I'm saying is try and tough it out, we all have hard times at home but thats part of the character building process, for example i have never hit a women and because of my father, i'll never be like that and my kids down the line will never have to live with that type of environment, it's good that your older friend wants to help, but by running away from home, your running away from your life, if your friends really want to help they would give you a shelter from the drama at home not take you away from it, it's hard to stay but if you could just find the eye of the storm, you would be able the weather the worst of it. sorry if this seems like i'm ranting but running away from home is still a touchy subject for me.

Answer 2

Running away is never the answer. As bad as things are, out on your own is worse. You need to speak with an adult who cares about you. A teacher, doctor, minister, anybody who would know the best course of action. If you don't have a minister you see regularly, go to the church of a friend or relative. You cannot handle this alone and you cannot depend on other teenagers to help. You need to find a compassionate adult. Just be careful that you do not get taken advantage of again. That is why you need to speak with an adult that you can trust.

I am sorry your life seems so hopeless, but things will get better. Just don't do anything in anger or frustration. Think through any decisions you make and do your research.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Tink; you really need to get out of there for your own sanity. I don't know of your situation, I haven't seen the other questions you asked. But, you said you were abused as a child and your parents seem not to care. If that is the case, honey, they are emotionally abusing you. You deserve better than that. I am concerned that you have self destructive tendencies. Depression is a bugger. I would be concerned for you being alone. It isn't a good idea to move in with strangers or some man, just to get away from your parents. Have you seen a good doc about the mental issues? Can he/she help with your lliving situation, maybe suggest some safe places? How old are you baby? Please e-mail me and let me try to help you. I need to know where you live now, city. You don't have to give me an exact address, lol. I have a feeeling about you and want to help. Nana

Answer 4

OK so your parents aren't demonstrative people(they don't openly show affection or feelings) is this really a good justifiable reason to put yourself in the position of possibly living on the streets or worse.
You've not indicated that your parents are physically abusive, or even mentally abusive, just not openly affectionate. Trust me there are worse things that can happen to you then this.
Try talking to your parents, or even just one of them. Tell them that you are feeling less than loved. You might find out that this is the way that they were raised and think that this is how it is suppose to be. No matter the outcome of the conversation, I wouldn't just up and leave without giving them a chance, and if they don't know what they are doing wrong, then they can't fix it.

Answer 5

How old are you?

First, I think everyone feels like their parents don't love them, don't care and don't understand. I know I did. Honestly, they may not understand...and they may never. I can tell you that even as an adult...my parents still don't "get me" and I'm guessing never will.

Whatever you do...don't run away. There are alot of bad scary things in this world, and even adults have a hard time dealing with them. Unless you're getting beaten, starved, or physically / sexually abused....at which point you need to go to the police or someone at your school...then I suggest you stick it out.

You need to get an education, and make sure you can take care of yourself.

Do you have brothers/sisters? I'll tell you...if you're the only one not getting in trouble, your parents may be thanking their stars and focusing on the trouble maker. Don't become a trouble maker...just finish school..and when you can...move out on your own, but safely.

Addendum - Talk to the guidance counselor at school and see if there's any help they can give you.

You're never going to forget the abuse. Even if it wasn't by your parents, the fact that they refuse to deal with it..with you and for you..is going to weigh on you.

I was molested by an older male cousin when I was 9. I told my mother when I was 16, and she said she thought maybe something had happened. When I asked why she never said anything to me, she told me if my father found out, he'd kill the cousin...and how could she have raised 4 kids all by herself? So, I get to live with the fact that my mother chose to sacrifice the emotional well being of her youngest child for "the sake of the family". I stayed until I was 18, and joined the military out of high school. I'm ALOT older...and I've never forgotten the abuse and will never accept what my mother decided.

However, unless you have somewhere to leave TO...a grandparent, an aunt..an older sibling...you'll likely end up on the streets being abused. Don't do this to yourself.

If you can't somehow get counseling, then you're going to have to believe me when I tell you that YOU aren't at fault for the abuse, and it doesn't make YOU a bad person. This was done TO you...and the person who did it is the worthless scum. Trust me. You need to become your own best friend and your own parent, because you need to get an education and make a plan for when you're a legal adult. If that means you focus on your grades and getting physically fit and joining the military as an out..then do it. Do it because as bad as you hurt inside, you deserve to have a good life...and you can make this happen for yourself. You survived what was done to you, and you can survive your parents...

Answer 6

Have you tried to sit down with them and express you feelings and problems that you are dealing with so that they can see where you are coming from? Is this a possibility or not? Communication is the key here. Then you can proceed from there. I don't know your age but are you really ready to live on your own? It isn't as easy as you think! Even if you go and live with other people you have to pay your way unless it's relatives. Make every effort to talk to your parents before you make any decisions you might regret. The best of luck to you!

Answer 7

It is hard to give an answer if you do not tell us what they are asking you to do. As a parent, it may be reasonable to them, but in reality it may be wrong or illegal. Just remember, that when you go down a certain path, you will never be able to change that path, even with apologies. Be certain this is what you want, not what your friend is suggesting. Perhaps you should go to an independent person like a school councilor or minister to explain your situation.

Please be careful how you approach this decision as it will effect your relationship with your parents forever.

Answer 8

No, don't go. You are only 15. Even if you did your parents could file a missing persons report and the cops would find you and bring you home. You are still a child, my dear. And this is a confusing, rebellious time for you. It is natural as you prepare for adulthood.

Answer 9

i dont know how old you are, but iam guessing some where between 14-17.

Most parents suck at what they do, and just let their teenagers do whatever they want, have their own lives, and end up as screwed up as they can get.

If your parents are making your life difficult you need to stop and find out why. Are they not letting you go out? Not letting you have people over? not letting you buy things you think you need or want? not caring about your social life? making you do a lot of house work, or expecting you to get a job? Taking your phone and computer away?

All these things are the sign of caring good parents who though they might not know how best to get you to healthy adulthood, are actually trying. It seems like theyre trying their hardest to make your life miserable and difficult, but really theyre trying to help prepare you for an unforgiving world.

Real life is extremely hard, nothing is promised, your meals your job your clothes, and every last little thing costs you money. NOT having money costs more than actually having it. and you're responsible for everything. and that doesnt just mean your survival. You have authorities to answer to, the irs, your employer, your medical provider, your state, society everything. You cant escape it, and theres no real way to appreciate how difficult it is until you're grown and truely doing it all on your own.

Being a parent and some how teaching you that respect and understanding is soooo difficult.

I was a pain in the asss as a teen, i hated my parents. I wasnt allowed to do anything. Go anywhere. It seemed i wasnt even allowed to have my own thoughts. But theres just so much that i didnt realize, and my parents were trying to hard to teach me what i needed.

If i could go back, and do it again, or some how provide other teens with a way to cope i would try to convince them of this-

Just let your parents be your parents. Let them train you and make you into the person they'er trying to make you into. Theres so much about who we try to be as teenagers that result is us being disfuctional miserable adults, and if your parents are trying to beat those things out of you, let them go. you'll be better off for it.

Second, COMMUNICATE. learn to TALK. not yell, not beg, not reason, not complain. but talk. tell them your heart. Youre their baby, and your hurt and fear matters.

There is a difference between parenting and abuse. If you're being verbally abused, (this means you have never heard a word of praise from your parents, and they do things like call you worthless or have a mean name for you instead of your own) physically abused (you're being bruised, cut, or broken as a result of their anger for things that you have or havent done) if you're being held against your will (you're confined aginst your power to one room, or to just the house, people including family cannot see you, talk with you, you cannot communicate with the outside world, or with outside family members) these things are wrong, and you can go to your teachers or another adult and ask for help.

But as it is iam going to assume that you're in a situation where you're trying to rebel and become your own person, and you parents can see that this is going to result in your harm or disfunction and theyre at a loss for how to train you.

You will survive. There are no guides to parenting, or to growing up.

Answer 10

Leaving is not a good idea. Sure, your parents should pay more attention to you and help you deal with your problems. The thing is that if they won't, leaving doesn't help you at all. Your better off staying with them and finding additional ways to deal with your issues than leaving and adding that to your problems.