I ran into my ex at a party at the weekend. We chatted and danced all night and both agree we had a wonderful time. She said I could stay at hers and I was glad to, but nothing happened, though my heart was beating like a hammer. The next day I already noticed I was looking at other women. Later she told me she was already seeing someone new.
I broke the relationship off before, because I felt I didn't truly love her and I wanted someone more creative and maybe less extroverted. That "X factor" wasn't there. But I wonder whether I was looking in the wrong place for the fulfilment my life seemed to lack - I know I could take more responsibility for how full and enjoyable my life is. Though I'm bright and well qualified, I have become increasingly anxious since knowing her and failed a course and lost a job! Do the imperfections in a relationship, like not feeling a "Wow" factor diminish when you have a fuller life?
2006-06-27 05:40:52 · 10 answers · asked by Toastie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The best thing to do is to make sure you're content with your life before searching out someone to make you happy. If you're not happy where you are in life, no matter how perfect the other person could possibly be, they won't be able to make you happy.
I've got a friend that's in a bad place in his life, nothing's gone right for him in a long time and he's constantly looking for a relationship. And all have flopped miserably. I'm sure some of the women are to blame, but no one wants to be with someone that they have to assure on a regular basis or that tells them "to tell me something to make me happy". Because you can never find the right thing to say.
2006-06-27 05:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by My name is not Rick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Wow factor is always there at the beginning of a relationship but you need more than that to sustain a long-term commitment. You need to have respect, friendship and really just a general "like."
One reason so many marriages fail is because couple don't know what to do with each other once the Wow factor fades. If you are looking for a relationship that is 100% wow all the time forever - you will be single for a very long time.
In terms of the imperfections in a relationship - those become more noticeable once the wow factor diminishes. They don't go to way. Truly loving someone is being willing to overlook those things and wanting to be with that person anyway.
It sounds like you are attracted to this girl - which is great - but you don't see long-term potential. It sounds like you need to refocus some priorities (i.e. school, job) and move on from this ex. In time, you'll meet someone for whom the Wow factor and X factor simply don't matter. Then you'll know she is the one.
2006-06-27 12:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of Course not. Tell her how you feel about her. Relationships aren't perfect. Sometimes you have fights,aguments, and even doubts. But if you do everything in your will to work it out together, you no that your relationship will succeed. If it doesn't, then u go on with ur life. You won't have a conscience bothering u and ur thoghts and guts. "life is worth living if u live it well"
2006-06-27 12:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Onyinenycukwu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be feeling for losing her... I think there is something more that you wanted from the relationship you didn't find and now you are letting yourself not have the lifestyle you once knew before this relationship.
2006-06-27 12:45:59 · answer #4 · answered by MIA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very wrong. for a relationship to work there has to be honesty without that there is nothing right?
it sounds like to me neither of you are in love with each other. forget her and go out there and find that right girl hun....she is somewhere waiting for you. maybe closer than you think!!!
2006-06-27 12:45:08 · answer #5 · answered by Trisha Pratt MA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you are confused. if you have doubts about this relationship then you should keep it moving. don't keep stringing people along. you know you all are not meant to be then separate and just be friends.
2006-06-27 12:43:58 · answer #6 · answered by supergirl331117 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they don't diminish, their always there, you just have to find the right person or thing to bring it out
2006-06-27 12:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by girlygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont' know i'm at the same stage you are just trying to pull myself out of the hole.
2006-06-27 12:45:11 · answer #8 · answered by oaklandolee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didnt read all.. sleep with them and never talk to them again.. thats what i do.. you must have the heart for this tho.. black and always cold.
2006-06-27 12:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by midi_junkie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES IT IS
2006-06-27 12:41:56 · answer #10 · answered by JULIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋