Young and abusive when drunk...??

Question

My boyfriend and I have a good relationship. The usual fights and complications, but no cheating or lies other than the white ones.
But heres the complication. When he gets drunk he gets abusive. We live together. At the age of 25 people like drinking, and men pretty much love their beer.

Weve went through all sorts of periods during the last 2 years with this. He could stick to a 40 and not be an out right SOB. It appears hes falling back into a bad habit though:

We went to a NIN concert on sunday night. We had a friend with us, and they got drunk in parking lot with a bunch of ppl. The night was mediocre, but the concert was great. On the way home he turned into a SOB and started yelling calling me a B! and grabbed the wheel and tweaked it. I pulled over and his friend talked him down and well he later passed out in the backseat.

It's not everyonce in a while, its ever time he drinks. Hes tried not drinking, but it fails. Give me an opinion, advice... anything.

Answer 1

Your boyfriend may not be able to drink at all. Alcohol effects people differently. Some people do become mean drunks. I think anytime alcohol is negatively affecting your life you should stay away from it. I come from a long line of alcoholics and know the problems it can cause. People drink to loosen up and have fun. If it's not fun and you are hurting other people, why do it? Maybe you could talk to him about it. Tell him you would be happy to stay sober with him! You can have a lot of fun without using alcohol and you can remember it the next day! It's also fun to make fun of all your drunk friends! Something you can't do when you're drunk too! I can't say your b-f has a drinking problem. There is a lot of info online just search for alcoholics anonymous and you will find tons of info. Talk to him about your concerns and if he continues the behavior, seriously consider getting out! Having a relationship with an alcholic (if he is) can cause major emotional issues for you also and you can't make him change if he doesn't want to. You don't have to put up with abuse like that.

Answer 2

He's an alcoholic. My step father, my foster brother and my ex husband were all alcoholics. I know the signs and believe me your guy won't quit because he can't. He needs a lot of help and I would advise you to get out of this relationship while you still have some shred of happiness. I could tell you stories that would make your blood run cold. Don't stay with someone who is abusive for any reason. Drinking too much is not an excuse for being an a$$hole.

Answer 3

Move out. That is step one. DO IT NOW. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY about finances, about being alone, etc. MOVE OUT.

Once you are out of the shared living situation, it is up to you to decide if you want to try to stay with him. If you decide you love him and can't live without him, talk to him about him receiving professional help. If he won't seek it, leave him.

You already know these answers, you're just too afraid to do it. Do you want to become yet another statistic? Do you want to stand small and weak among the millions of battered women in our country? Do you want to be cold and dead in a grave because he cracked you over the head too hard?

Find the self respect you have lost, and reclaim your life. You cannot allow him to own you.

Answer 4

You are living with an alcoholic. So not pass Go, get out now! If at the end of two years of sobriety you want to take him back then and only then will you stand a chance.