Is child support forcing a man to take responsibility for his actions?

Question

I don't believe in child support laws. I would love the extra help, but I will not beg or continue to ask. I do for myself and my kids. And what would I get out of it because neither of my kids' father works? Very independent, but sometimes it gets tight. What do I do?

To lily.
Cute real cute. I did't even read all you had to say because you got me heated, but let me clarify myself. I have 3 kids by 2 fathers. 2 kids out of a 13 yr relationship and 1 out of a 5 yr relationship. Tramp. I think not. A woman not asking for a hand out- OH YEAH I THINK SO. Now though I didn't mention all that in my additional info. I feel i should say it now since you have the wrong impression of me. Now if these men were losers because they picked me-- Well that explains your response to my question. You can't find anyone to get in between your legs even for a sniff so your a** is just miserable. Just to think. Here I am working my A** off to do what I have to do for my kids and myself and M F's like you go and call me a tramp and sheit. Not providing a family. Doesn't a family require a responsible male. Well damnit I am that male and my kids will know the value of family, love, trust, respect, and dedication. All from one parent. ME!

Answer 1

OH yes i believe that a man who is going to father a child should have to support that child, there is no way out of it, if you are big enough to lay down and have sex then you should be big enough to take the responsibility of what comes from having sex and fathering a child, im having a problem getting my sons sperm donor to pay up child support, because he doesn't want to take on the responsibility of what brought on both of our actions, i grew up and have taken care of my child in every way, i had dreams of becoming a singer, now im more interested in my child than my dream, i dont now what i would do without my son he is the best thing that came out of that relationship. no my son doesnt know anything about the ******** who fathered him,but my husband has helped me raise him and is wanting to adopt but the "sperm" donor wont let him, i strongly agree with the child support laws. and they should be in-forced at all cost.not once has he ever tried to make contact with our son, or to see if he needed anything, hes a freaking dead beat dad

Answer 2

How can I put this gently? ummmm I really think you are a tramp..Dropping two kids with two men and not providing a real family for the children. I really wonder what goes through your mind. Do you not have any pride? I don't believe in child support because I feel women like you should not be rewarded with money. Evidently you are the type of a woman who does not want a man in your life, but you want to have kids just so the world thinks you are normal and they can feel sorry for you. How does such a person have enough intelligence to raise two children to be strong, intelligent and able to relate to the opposite sex. You are probably one of those women who "just wanted someone to love" so you had a kid or two. And Plezzzzzzz do not give me words back, such as "he got me pregnant" "we were using birth control". BS woman who don't want to get pregnant don't get pregnant. The men that mated with you were losers.. losers because they picked you and losers because that is the only guy you could trick to get between your legs. (In actuality it doesn't take much tricking because most men want to do it just because it feels good, only the real men who are worth anything, think twice about it).

Answer 3

What do you do? You force those lazy asses to get up and get a job and give you some money to support the kids that they helped create. It isnt' about your independence, it is about providing as best you can for your children. Even if you take that support money and put it away for college (that way it doesn't hurt your pride and you're still doing it alone). You need to think about your kids and what that money can mean for them.

And, I'm sure you've already thought about this but since it is YA! and I can be a jerk, next time, pick better fathers!!!!

Answer 4

It has nothing to do about asking or begging. Its your child right, and if you refuse then you are taking away from your child. If neither father works, then they are nothing more than dead beats...litereally. If you did get support from the court, and they actually worked their wages would be garnished, as they should. I believe that if a woman is well off and not struggling for money then you are right. But if she is poor and is living pay check to pay check, she needs to accept the help that is out there.

Answer 5

Don't let foolish prode short change your children. They deserve the money that should be coming from their fathers. Just because the men don't work NOW, they would have to if ordered to pay support. It would be that or they would go to jail. There are plenty of places you can contact that work a lot faster than the state does to get the support you are owed.

Answer 6

I think that child support is a responsibility because then the father will have a responsibility to take actions of his/her children. He/Her will pay alot of money if they have more than 2 kids.

Answer 7

well certain states and certain judges enforce child support laws diffrently me personal i agree with child support but i would get pissed if i was forced to pay out by law if i already am trying my best some judges can and will force a dead beat dad to get a job or do some jail time it all depends on the situation

so file for it and let them deal with whatever happens with the courts if they are able to support themselves jobless or not they can support there kids

I was unemployed for 6 months but not once in those 6 months did my daughter go hungry or get cold or suffer there was no change in her lifestyle mine yeah hers no

Answer 8

go an get your support be as it may some men need a little push ..there are a lot of women who think child support is a bad thing. i dont because every little bit helps ..i dont even get $300 a month for my 2 boys but oh well its was better than nothing. i am not angry i just knew i need some help.

Answer 9

it is forcing a man to take responsibility for "BOTH" your actions... Lets face it, a woman has multiple choices as to how to absolve herself of responsibility and a man has to sit and wait for your choice then has to pay for it for the rest of his life. Or go on his marry way
That being said, I agree that he should have to pay for his "mistakes" But he should be given equal choice in the manner of his responsibility just as a woman has,... Right??? I mean if the sexes where truly equal a woman should have to face the consequences of her actions for the rest of her life just as a man has to.
I do not think a man should be able to weasel out of his responsibility any more than I think a woman has the right to do it, But as a Conservative Libertarian, Although I despise the idea of abortion personally I do not want the government getting involved in a persons personal lives, which means for Both men and women.
Another issue to deal with is that when you pursue him to pay you He may become angry and vindictive and force you to give visitation and/or partial custody and make your life hell.

Answer 10

I believe child support is an extremely necessary program...although I believe a man should be able to use reciepts for things bought for the child if he chooses to do so. How can a man expect to do things for his kids in his own way if he has to give the mother cash??