Did you know that heaven and hell are actually
right next to each other? They are seperated by
a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was
having a big party and it got a little out of
hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find
his fence completely smashed by the wild
partiers. He called the devil over and said
'Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence.'
Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the
devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it
was 2 feet further into heaven than before.
'Satan!' beckoned God. 'You have to take that
fence down and put it back where it belongs!'
'Yeah? What if I don't?' replied the devil.
'I'll sue you if I have to,' answered God.
'Sure,' laughed Satan 'where are you going to
find a lawyer?'
2006-06-27 02:59:52 · 12 answers · asked by simply_boring 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am..
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
####################################################
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
********************************************************************************
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
=====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
2006-06-27 03:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by romy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ha ha, by the way on which side of the fencing you r standing?
2006-06-27 03:43:23 · answer #2 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great! 9
An English professor wrote the words
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is everything.
2006-06-27 03:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by soubassakis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funney!
2006-06-27 03:06:35 · answer #4 · answered by zit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha
2006-06-27 03:54:15 · answer #5 · answered by corbin909 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA HA HA HA
2006-06-27 05:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA nice
2006-06-27 04:25:08 · answer #7 · answered by HeArTsArEcLoSe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha. they're all burning in hell, huh? GOOD ONE!
2006-06-27 03:02:22 · answer #8 · answered by vanilla_bean_dream 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny, ha ha
2006-06-27 03:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by curstadevon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel like reading ..... sorry
2006-06-27 03:20:32 · answer #10 · answered by Soccer rox! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋