2006-06-27 02:46:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the events that have transpired which resulted in this estrangement cannot be forgotten, but try and let them be forgiven because life is so short and precious and with a blink of your eye life can be turned upside down. you will have to live with the choices that you are making today. make sure in your heart that they are good ones. you may some day regret the time in which you are losing with your mother. you don't realize what she has meant to you until she is gone. I just lost my mother and learned the hard way how much that can effect your life. take care and god bless
2006-06-27 02:53:17 · answer #1 · answered by captures_sunsets 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had always had a difficult relationship with my mom. Mostly during my late teenage years, and early adult hood.
We never saw eye to eye. She was a little controlling.
I seemed to be wrong all the time, never right. She never tried to compromise. Always strong minded, had to be her way or no way. We stopped talking for a while. She got sick and my brother called me, and we started talking again, but a couple months later, ended up in the hospital and a couple months later she died of lung cancer. We mended our fences, but it wasn't the same close relationship we had when I was a young girl/young teenager. we lost a lot of time.
I regret that, but it was really impossible to be more or do more than I was at the time. I dont think I was a bad daughter, but I wasn't the best. I can't say she was a bad mom. She just wasn't a mom I could be close to. I see other mothers/daughters and I am jealous. I wish I had that. The only thing I can do is try to have a good relationship with my daughter. I couldnt have a good one with my mom, but I can make a good one with my daughter. I can learn from the way my mom was and I can be different.
I am sure your strained relationship bothers you. It's not to late for you to fix it, if you want.
It's too late for me, and I'm not sure it was fixable.
If it's worth it to you, then try. If it doesnt work out, at least you an say you tried.
The only way to move on is to be who you are and who you want to be. The secret I can tell you is.........no matter what, your mom loves you and is proud of you, even if she doesn't tell you. That's how it is with my daughter. No matter what she does, doesn't do or says, or tries. ....I love her, and I'm there for her. IN order for you to move on, you need to just be happy. Make yourself happy. If you've tried to have a relationship with her, and it didnt work, dont blame yourself....it takes two. Try to accept things the way they are. If she can't be in your life, they you have to accept that. No sense beating yourself up for it........unless you want to be someone your not in order to make her happy.
she has to meet you half way too.......it's a two way street.
I wish you lots of luck!
2006-06-27 10:00:50 · answer #2 · answered by Angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
except mom the way she is and try to always be respectful and respect her as your mom she may or may not change you can not change her no matter what so find ways of making your or her visits pleasant you will be moving on that way because she will always be mom the things that she does that always get on your nerves find new ways of dealing with them treat them as therapuetic times with your mom to help you over come them after awhile really whatever bothered you will become nothing to you you can move on and still spend time with mom do not share information that you don't want her to control remember she is a mother that gives advice and thinks hers is always better as most moms think the information she finds out on her own take a breather relax and stay calm always and find a new way to deal with it finding new ways to deal with your mom will help you a lot be creative and don't be afraid approach each situation bigger and better in a whole new way! AND LIVE YOUR LIFE!
2006-06-27 10:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by crystal_clear_0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a pretty complicated relationshipwith my Mom, she likes to put me on guilt trips, usually things that weren't even my fault to begin with. And she had a horrible relationship with her mother, my mother is so afraid of what people think and she thinks she can just hole herself up and not deal with the world, I can't talk to her about anything that has to do with reality because she just digs up the past and makes me feel horrible. My mom wasn't supposed to have kids, and it's almost like she thinks that now I have grown up, it's MY turn to take care of her. She actually said that.
And as for moving on, I don't know, really...I just tell myself that I'm an adult and I can handle it.
2006-06-27 09:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by Goodbye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a teen, my mom and I always fought. When I turned 18 I moved out. That helped our relationship a lot. Now we are best friends.
2006-06-27 09:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by curstadevon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is not the adult you should try being it and talk to her because no matter what she will always be you're mum
2006-06-27 09:50:54 · answer #6 · answered by ioana m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋