After rearranging your life as well
2006-06-26 23:34:00 · 14 answers · asked by ambidextrous25 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Slowly and with time.
You have to basically grieve for the loss just like you would if they'd died. And then make the decision to move on, and just do it.
I went through that about 6 years ago. I got over it faster because I realized that it would have been worse to have married him and have it end badly. However, it still took me a couple of years to be able to not get emotional about it occasionally.
Just so you know, the best "revenge" is to lead a happy life without them.
2006-06-26 23:39:31 · answer #1 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it takes about 2 years to recover from a serious set-back in life. That is how long it takes to build a new life and for the immediate emotional pain to diminish. I find that after that time usually I see that things actually worked out for the best.
The only way to get over this awful experience is to start building yourself a new life that is all about making yourself happy and ensuring that you are working toward what you want in your life.
Some suggestions:
1) Make a list of the things that you REALLY want from life; that you would like to look back on when you are 80 and say that you were glad you did. Not what you think you 'should' be doing. See how much time you are devoting to what you 'should' be doing rather than what you want to be doing. Do less of the 'shoulds' and more of the 'wants'.
2) Change one thing about your life each week/month to make your life easier and more fun
3) Fill your social calendar. Arrange to talk to friends and family on the phone, go out for walks, join groups where there are new people. Write them all in your calendar so you can look at it and see all the fun things that you have to look forward to in the next few weeks.
4) Learn a new skill. I recently learned to crochet; its super helps calm the mind and focus on the task at hand rather than endlessly thinking about 'what if'.
Best of luck. I am sure that your new life wil be far better than the old one.
2006-06-27 07:00:01 · answer #2 · answered by SmartBlonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no real answer to your question im afraid everyones wounds heal in different ways. My ex fiance finished it with me after 4 years, 18 months ago I was devestated. It has taken me till about 4 months ago to competly get over him.
All I can say is you will get over it and you will meet someone else in time. What ever you do don't allow your ex to use you, by sleeping with them still. It only makes you feel good for the time it lasts and then you feel even worse after. They don't want you back just want to have there cake and eat it at them same time. Which isn't fair on you at all.
I hope this helps a bit hun, take Care and remember the key to this is TIME!!!!! xxxxx
2006-06-27 10:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by hcole19 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married just about a year and prior to meeting my husband, I was almost engaged to another man. We had been dating for 2 years - he was ready for marriage and at the time I was only 24 and not ready at all!! It was a hard decision to say no but the best one. Stop focusing in the past and move on. The hurt remains because the mind hasn't forgotten. Turn to the present and let it go. Only then can you free yourself to find your true love.
2006-06-27 08:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not easy babe, but time does heal all wounds. There is obviously a good reason why you aren't together anymore, focus on that and start going out with your pals..... Girlies have a way of getting their pals through these things.
As for re-arranging your life for this man, if you can do it for him, then surely you can do it again for yourself.
Be strong and remember, things happen for reasons, and maybe you have learnt alot more from this experience than you realise.
( What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger )
Be happy babe and don't wallow too long, there is better life out there than the one you would have had. Please trust me on this. Go and grab the world by the B***s !!!!!!
Good luck xxxxxx
2006-06-27 06:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by sukimitchell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of the dress/suit, the cards, the plans the house you'd move into, everything. stop visiting "your resturant" or where ever you used to go with them. make sure you really want to get over them coz if you have doubts deal with them now. tell all your family and friends that chapter in your life is over. speak to this person about how you feel and make it clear that you have accepted your separation. dont jump into the next relation and in the next one be honest that you want to either
get serious
be commited
date
see each other often not every day
get married
flirt around
you know...
wahtever
destroting pictures does not help you still have the memories. think of them as good times
2006-06-27 06:46:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! tryin to get over that lol well try not to think bout it so much i mean some people like to be stupid and kill them self cuz they can't get over it but, don't you do that, killing yourself isn't the answer to anything, that just makes you very stupid, but go out with your friends have a good time, don't let thinking bout you were going to marry that person get in ytour way go have fun keep it off your mind, and in time you forget all bout that person. :)
2006-06-29 17:22:14 · answer #7 · answered by Kasanrda T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult one. Get support from family and friends.
2006-06-30 04:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by flymetothemoon279 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should ask u self ... is it the person u want to marry..or and how about u sex life good .. are u happy .. if not please dont ..
first i am not teach u anything..
the most imoportend is are u love him or not u want to spend u hole lofe with himm...
ask u self ,, first
2006-06-29 14:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by o dear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes a lot before marraige
2006-06-27 06:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by raj m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋