My gf is always complaining about her family dumping on her (looking after the house, younger siblings etc) and they do but she won't stand up to them and isn't ready to move out so should I keep telling her she's right to complain or should I tell her just to make the best of it? Always thinking she's being dumped on might make her unhappy, no? Then again so might being a doormat :|
2006-06-26 21:45:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry, should of said. She's 18 and has a sister of 22 and one of 14 who both do absolutely nothing in the house hold. My girl has to wash up, clean up etc or no one does. Her parents are elderly thus are less able and I think she thinks she needs to help and because of this no one else does. Case in point though, her big sis bought some hamsters over the weekend, no where to put them in the house and is now bored with them so my girl has to look after them...I ask "do you want to go away for the week?" she replies "can't I have to look after the hamsters"....damn rats...lol
2006-06-26 21:55:30 · update #1
i think you are right to question her behavior. encourage her to take small steps towards standing up for herself, ie find an 'easy' issue and start with that. the hamster thing just isnt right - if the sister doesnt want to take care of it - the hamster should be disposed of, it is degrading for your gf to take care of it.
i do agree with her helping her parents, she is taking responsibility around the home which is good, what is not good, is doing more than her share. she is not responsible for picking up her sisters' slack and by doing so is perpetuating their irresponsibility. she should assess immediately what is her fair work load and do only that. she will no doubt get some flack but she should stand firm knowing that it is the right thing to do ultimately. at the end of the day she should feel good as she has acted appropriately, responsibly and maturely in helping with the housework whether her parents are old or not -it is great preparation for when she eventually leaves home.
2006-06-26 22:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by aeriolf 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow. How old is she....?
She just needs to do what her parents tell her to. She shouldn't complain if the parents aren't always home. My parents are barely home, I'm the age of 13 and I have to do everything at home. I clean everything.
But her parents probably want her to do more to learn. But what if they had passed away? She would have to look after the house and her siblings.
But it's good you are supporting her.
2006-06-26 21:51:41 · answer #2 · answered by [[piratexalice]] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. A no win situation. You are very insightful in knowing that sometimes men have to be careful in what they say. Women are very sensitive and in times of need we look to men to be our protectors and counselors. Think of a few standard answers that you can give that are non threatening to her or her family members, being supportive.....and leading her in the direction of becoming better equipped to stand up for herself.
2006-06-27 00:10:17 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her to make the best of it. probably the reason she is always given the task is her parents can not rely on the others. for self development this is good training, then she will grow up to be very responsible. give her support , that is the best you can do.
2006-06-26 22:02:31 · answer #4 · answered by Rolly r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she lives at home all she can do is learn to be patient with them... she will probably need them later in life and they will repay what she has done for them. I think the best thing for you to do is keep her mind off it when she is with you and not let her spill the problem over to your relationship. I have been in your shoes, sadly the relationship ended.
2006-06-26 21:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by enigma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She complains to you,because she knows that you are the one who will listen and support her. She loves you and wants to fell that you also,love her. I think that she needs someone to pay attention to her. Also, she trust es you. So, you must be patient and ask from her to do many things together.
2006-06-26 21:53:52 · answer #6 · answered by d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good that you are concerned for her well being and being supportive is great, but she needs to stand up for herself and let them know how she feels and hopefully they can work something out.
2006-06-26 21:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Gabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should sympathise with her but at the same time make her feel she's a lot better than she thinks.
let her feel that even though the world turns its back on her, you'll be there for her no matter what happens. you'll be her world..=p
2006-06-26 21:51:42 · answer #8 · answered by Simonette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Door matt sounds appropriate....she will be treated like that until she demands NOT to be treated like THAT!!!
2006-06-26 22:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by tatgirl66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋