does emotional abuse count in emancipation laws for a 16 year old girl.?

Question

i know i sound like a "mindless teenager trying to get freedom." but its not like that. i live with my stepdad and mom. he doesnt treat me the way he should at all. hes always threating to "beat the sh*t out of me." and that i'll "never be anything in life." i think i would be better off emancipated. i have a job, and i have good grades in school. i have goals set in life and i dont think living with him would help me accomplish any of them. please help me somehow and give me some advice on what to do. because i know i cant go through with this any longer. please help me.

ive tried talking to my mom many times. this has been going on since i was 6 years old. the law in missouri is that i have to be older then 14, which i am. i can get a free attorny but im scared that if it doesnt go through and i dont get emancipated. how will my parents treat me then? -- and ive tried talking to the school about this but they just tell me to have a talk with my family. but my stepdad really isnt the "talking type." hes more of a "get to your room, i dont wanna hear your bullsh*t" kind of guy. i dont have any close relatives nearby that i could live with either.

Answer 1

Hon, you need to talk to a lawyer or a judge. Do some investigation on the forms you need to fill out and where to file them. Tell the judge your story and have your ducks in a row, a job, a place to live, show you are responsible for yourself and you can make it on your own. Then you may be able to emancipate yourself. Know that being an adult stinks make sure its what you want to do. May I suggest making sure you finish school and apply for financial aid to get you into a college dorm. You'll love it. I promise.

Answer 2

Emotional abuse can very well be more devastating than physical abuse. How do you feel? Can you sleep as well as you used to? How do you eat now? Are you constantly having headaches or stomach aches? Emotional abuse can contribute to many health related issues. If you aren't too certain of your school councilor, then try your family physician. They are also mandatory reporters. There is such a thing as a foster care program. The court may not necessarily send you back to your parents, just because the court doesn't want to emancipate you, yet. When you are not emancipated, many times the courts will place you, and your parents will still have to pay to support you. Don't be in such a rush to grow- up. Its not easy out there! If your grades are good, are you going to college soon? Check with your councilor. Its possible you could find a way to graduate early. Maybe some on line courses will make a difference.

Answer 3

That sounds kind of like a situation I've been through, so anything I tell you is b=going to be from experience. Also, I have a friend with the same issue. In this case, you probably would be better off emancipated, because you still have a couple of years to put up with that, and you won't be able to handle it! Plus, what's the guarintee they'll let you out when the time comes?

Answer 4

If you really think you could live on your own without any help, then I say you should consider it. Do you have any family willing to let you live with them (maybe even pay rent). You need to have a feasible plan in place prior to getting an attorney. Also who would pay for the attorney, can you afford it? I don't mean to be negative, it sounds like you are hurting a lot and do need a change. It sounds like you have tried the right things, counselor at school talking to mom. Does your stepfather ever get physically violent with you or just threaten? If he is violent, then social services would have to step in if you contact them. Please don't give up, it sounds like you are a bright and have a good head on your shoulders. Even though 2 years sounds like forever, it will go fast if you are unable to make a change. How about friends, any of them willing to take you in? If your step dad is so unkind, are you sure he would fight you leaving? Maybe you wouldn't have to be emancipated. You don't mention biological father, is he in the picture at all, is he or his family an option? I would contact a family law attorney that provides free consultations. They would be able to guide you. Good luck!

Answer 5

I know that it is tough when someone is yelling at you and putting you down. I badly wanted to run away from home when I was your age, but I had friends at my school, sang in the choir, ran cross-country and track, was in a lot of clubs, etc. and didn't really want to give those things up. My dad yelled at me all the time and I still shake if someone yells at me.
Please know that just because your stepdad says things doesn't make them true. It is best to just not talk back and remember that you can be out of there in 2 years!
I talked to my boyfriend about this because he became an emancipated minor and he says that since you are not actually being hit (my boyfriend's dad beat him all the time, and he ran away,) it is unlikely that the courts will grant your request. He says that not many people can handle having to take on adult responsibilities so quickly. He had to quit school for awhile to work full-time to pay for an apartment and sometimes had to walk to work because he couldn't afford the bus fare and was barely eating. You have to ask yourself if you are making enough money to support yourself and if you would still be able to stay in school.
I think that the best thing you can do right now, is to stay away from home as much as your mom will let you. Spend time at friends, take a sport or drama or music at school: anything to keep your mind off of what is happening at home.
It wouldn't hurt to call Dr. Laura for some advice too. (her show is on a lot of radio stations.) Her number is 1-800 dr - Laura and the website is www.drlaura.com
I will be praying for you and if you ever need to "talk" feel free to email me. Some of my teenage violin students feel very comfortable asking me for advice.

Answer 6

I feel for your situation.

The fact that you are considering an 'emancipation' action should send a loud signal to your mother that she appears to have not heard. (or does not want to hear)

You are being emotionally abused and you are hurting.

Your 'home' is not a home.

Perhaps, in time, this situation will improve but I agree with the others here in the opinion that you are better off elsewhere.

Can you move out without any need of legal action? Perhaps a private board situation might be suitable.

regards

Peter

Answer 7

You must speak with a school counselor immediately....I say that because they are more readily available to you and can contact the proper authorities to guide you in this delicate situation....think things through all the way though. Does he actually put his hands on you ....I mean don't get me wrong abuse is abuse.....Physical, mental, verbal, emotional...the whole shebang.......but being out there in the real world on your own ain't no joke sweetie. Do you have enough funds to sufficiently provide for yourself in ALL areas of life ....Food ,rent , toiletries, clothing , utility bills,transportation, medical needs. I know too many adults who eat noting but Top Ramen because they can't afford anything more than that ....So think about this, through and through before you even make a move to talk to your counselor. If your Step-fathers words are nothing more than just words ....out of frustration or whatever the case may be then let that roll off your back and keep doing your thing ......but its better to do it on his dime , then to try to struggle doing it all on your dime....r u feelin' me. Let pops foot the bill while you continue to get your stuff together. Handle your grades and your job..and by the time you have to really get out there you will be ready. I must congratulate you on your grades and the fact that you are making your own fetti......you are doing alot more than some so -called adults. Just don't jump out in the world too soon."k"

Answer 8

Is there a relative that you can stay with until you are out of high school? Or possibly a friend of the family? You are so young to be out on your own right now.

I moved out at 17 and felt like I was an old person compared to my friends. And times were different then--it was easier to make a decent living without college.

I do feel for you, it must be miserable having to deal with that type of mental abuse everyday.

Answer 9

Do not keep this to yourself. This is exactly what he wants you to do. Tell every adult you can trust right away so they can help you. Try to tell your mom. Hopefully she will believe you. If not, then you need to contact the police. Let them know what is going on, and they will be sure to put you in a safe environment. This man should be put behind bars if he hurts you. Just threatening you is not okay. You need to be safe. Don't be scared to tell someone. You will feel better after wards if you just talk to someone like a school counselor or even a friend.

Answer 10

Can you live with your dad? Make sure this is what you really want...the last thing you want is to be left on you own with nowhere to turn... if you fell you are responsible enough i would do through with it. noone deserves to be treated like that. But I would think of my other option first. Has he actually ever hit u or anything? If so you need to report it ! Why does your mom put up with this? Thats crazy! Call your local courthouse and they can point you in the right direction. Let them know you feel you are being mentally abused and if you are physcally abuse PLEASE REPORT IT. but dont lie if he hasnt hit you.