question about a counselor.?

Question

okay well i have to go see a counselor. sort of a long story and don't want to talk about it. so basically my parents think i'm one screwed up child. so they go get me a counselor. i haven't met him yet, i see him wed. i've had one before, but she was judgemental and diagnoised me as depressed within 5 minutes of us meeting. so i don't really know how to treat this new guy. and another thing my parents don't know is that i am sort of uneasy around older men, becuase i've been taken advantage of by a man i trusted. so i don't know how to go about this. any advice? also i don't want my parents knowing what happened cause they wouldn't beleive me. let's just say he's highly thought of by people that are all ready high in society. so no one would take my word over his. how do i deal with this?

Answer 1

You'd be best off with a therapist who has experience with working with survivors of sexual abuse. You may not always like them or the things they say .. I remember being so upset and angry with my therapist when she made a diagnosis (although in retrospect she was right, and she has actually been one of the best therapists I've been to). It's okay to shop around for a good therapist, till you find one you vibe with.

If you can't tell your parents, why not just tell the counselor that you'd prefer to talk to a woman? If he's a sensitive person, he'll probably help you to change over to one of his colleagues.

Some survivors' websites have good information posted on how to choose a therapist, how to decide if they're right for you. I have a website too (I'm a survivor of abuse) but I haven't got down to posting that info yet .. however have some links to other websites that might give you that info. I also run a free online group for survivors (over 16) where we work on self-help. You can check that out if you like, its totally anonymous. I've put the links down below.

This is something that you do need to deal with because abuse does have long term repercussions, dealing with it would help you live a happier and easier life. I hope you get the help you need.

Answer 2

One thing I learned after making every mistake I could by age 30 is YOUR PARENTS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT! They are old, experienced, wise, and they love you. Especially if they are taking the time to get you counseling. You are only in your first quarter of life; you are young and have not lived through to many experiences. I like to cal this research. Trial and error! I don't know exactly how old you are but I'm assuming you’re a teenager living with your folks. So you’re in a stage where you are trying to find out who you are. Trying different things, hopefully good things, seeing where you fit in or where you want to fit in. These learning situations will either make you or break you. You may think your parents are overacting... but they have probably been around the block...see you testing or reacting poorly to bad research projects...where you don't see the possible bad results were they do because they are wiser. I look back and can say I probably didn't find out who I was until 26, 27, by that time I was headed for disaster. I finished college and have a job but still face a few hard challenges that I could have avoided if I would have listened to dad. Your lucky you have parents that care about you and are willing to get you help you while you’re young. Rather than do nothing because they obviously know your not willing to work with them I don't know what the issue may be. But there has to be one if you are not willing to tell them about "Chester". Your parents are there to protect you. ..You say "they think you’re screwed up" Maybe you are...Unless you’re not human. Being taken advantage of by someone you trust, especially in these molding years... And not being able to tell anyone. You have to be "screwed up and or depressed” I certainly would be!! The sooner you are willing to accept that this could be a possibility the sooner you will be able to heal and get over that "uneasy" feeling or lack of trust you have around older men. The sooner the better, instead of Cirque Du Freak you think of your self as Cirque Du Unique. Wedsnday..comes around you go into that office and ask that older man the exact same question you don't have to stereotype all older men. I think you will be fine..

Answer 3

My mother had me go to a psycologist when I was 17. I didn't like him, he seemed more interested in reading his mail than listening to my thoughts. At that age, I didn't want to tell him much, anyway. I left school every Tuesday after second period for the rest of the day for about six months, so I stayed with it.

You have been hurt by a man and you feel like you can't tell your parents about it. Your previous counselor was probably right when she said you were depressed; she was doing her job by "judging" your state of mind. I understand that you didn't want to hear that, though, since I felt the same way when my guy was telling me about my life when I was your age. I know you resent your parents for sending you to therapy, but they are really trying to help you and since you can't bring yourself to tell them what happened to you, they know something is wrong but don't know what else to do.

I would try to make a deal with your parents. Tell them you would feel more comfortable seeing a woman therapist instead of a man. This way, you will be letting them try to help you which will make them happy. You, in return, will be more comfortable speaking your thoughts. Don't go back to the same woman as before, but please keep your mind open. You have had some trauma in your life that will only fester and affect your life choices and actions as you grow up until you get it resolved. Let your new counselor know that you want to go slow, and she should respect that. Good luck, and even though it's hard to see now, realize that your parents love you and are just trying to help.

Answer 4

You need to find someone who YOU are comfortable with. Tell your parents you want a female counselor. I had one when I was younger who insisted my mom be in the room while I talked about the men who molested me. I wasn't sure about it, so I left out a LOT of details and didn't go back after the second session. It took me years before I found someone who understood me and didn't judge me, and he knew exactly what I was going through. He had been molested and raped by his older brother and cousin for years

You need to tell someone what happened to you. It doesn't matter who you tell, just as long as it's someone you trust. You're parents don't need to know just now. Some day you can tell them if you want, but for now you need to take care of you.

Remember, we are all screwed up. No one's perfect.

Answer 5

You have to be honest, with your self and your counselor. Why are you seeing a different one anyway? I would of been more comfortable talking to a woman than a man there more sensitive to what your going through if your honest with them. You have to learn to trust someone and the thing about counselors you can tell them anything and they cant tell anyone else if you tell them not to. Go vent get it off your chest so you dont continue caring this around with you forever, you'll feel better.

Answer 6

wow honey that's a tough one I was also in lot of trouble in school and in the street and saw many counselors just try to be cool anser the questions on how you feel about things and may be the dude will cut you a break or put you on something but whatever you do stay out of a detention center an be cool...ok

Answer 7

hi i am a soon to be 24 year old female i go to a councilor every other week you have to find a councilor you like and trust. what you say in counseling can not be taken back to your parent you sign a agreement to let them in how old are you? i was raped for year by my father my family dint believe me but since i was underage he went to prison for 16 years. he home now and my health is deterring i have schizo effective disorder with bipolar type and compulsion disorder. i tell you this right now since you have been take advantage of you will pay for it for the rest of your life. you ever need some one to talk to you can messenger me a t [e-mail]

Answer 8

Request a female, and let them know that you feel uncomfortable having an older men, and there's nothing wrong with having depression or any other mental issue, that makes you like many of us be proud of it and take advantage of it, I do.

Answer 9

SEE OPENLY TALK TO YOUR PARENTS WHAT HAD GONE WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THEIR ADVICE AND GO TO A PSYCHIATRIST. YOU BECAME PSYCHIC BECAUSE OF YOUR FAILURE IN THE STORY YOU KEEP AS A SECRET.TRY TO BE WISE. THE DEPRESSED MIND COMES TO A LADY ONLY WHEN THEY GET CHEATED BY A BAD EXPERIENCE .YOU SIT FOR 2 OR 3 SITTINGS WITH THE PSYCHIATRIST YOU WILL BECOME PERFECTLY ALRIGHT,.
IF I SAY TO YOU FRANKLY SPEAKING YOU FEAR DARKNESS AS WELL AS LONELINESS IN THE HOUSE. THIS IS BECAUSE OF THAT HENCE PLEASE TAKE MY ADVICE AND LIVE HAPPILY. BE BOLD AND FACE THE LIFE. FORGET THE PAST AND LIVE. GOOD LUCK