me and my husband have bean married for a year. He just got served cort papers saying he is the fother from 1 night stand toa 3 year old little girl. Does he have to take a DNA test. or is there a way around it?i dont want to sound selfish but I am 6 months prago with my firs chiled. and i dont know if i can love this other child as if it were mine. Because i have so much hate for the situation. Please help!!!! what should i do to support my husband
2006-06-26 18:33:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
weird q why are you asking it on here?
2006-06-26 18:37:45 · answer #1 · answered by yes i am cool! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will have to take a PATERNITY test. Not fraternity-it's not college.
If it's his, he will be court ordered to pay child support. Be mature about this. That child is a part of the man you love. It's not her fault her momma's a skank. If this chicken-head is coming after him 3 years later, there's something going on with her too. This poor child probably needs a loving family.
Don't get ahead of the situation. Take it one day at a time. Chances are that if this woman had a one nighter with him, he's not the only possible sperm donor.
If he is the daddy, be supportive and understanding. We all make mistakes, not that a child should ever be considered a mistake. It was before you. He'll need you to help him see that stepping up and being there for the little girl is the right thing to do. I wish you luck. You'll have enough love. Just be glad she's not 13!
2006-06-27 02:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by 4kidsmama 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The ONLY responsible thing to do is for him to support his child. This is not about you or your child. It has NOTHING to do with your ability to love this child, its about HIS ability to love this child. Would you rather him love and support a child for 15 years and then find out its not his? If he's smart he will get a paternity test and start supporting his child now. This little girl needs him so much more than your unborn child.
My personal story...
In 1998 my husband and I learned he had a 2 1/2 yr old son from an old relationship. We had a 1 yr old together. Instead of fighting the idea, I chose to love his son as my own. THANK GOD I did, because He had other plans. Within a year of meeting this precious boy he came to live to live with us full time and his biological mother stepped out of his life by choice. My son is now 10 and I love him as much as I love my two biological children, in fact I am getting ready to adopt him so he legally IS my child.
This precious angel, your stepdaughter, did not ask for this. She is a gift and a blessing and she deserves to know her father. PLEASE do not get in the way of that or this child, her mother, and your husband will end up hating you for that.
2006-06-27 02:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by sumnerrain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he was served court papers, thats an order by a judge. if he doesnt show up to the clinic to get tested, he will get jail time. dont go against the order. if you had a child before you met him wouldnt you want him to love your child. i understand this is your first baby with him and you don't want him to take the attention away from your baby. but you need to be supportive of this. otherwise its like punishing him for his past. just tell him that what ever happens out of this that you are happy for him, and that you will stand by his side. remember those vows you took? yeah this is for better or worse hun. he's probably really scared right now and he needs you more than ever. this is what makes a marriage stronger. if this turns out to be his, it could be a good thing for you two. this little girl needs a father in her life, just like your baby does. don't give up on him and he wont give up on you. i had a child before i met my husband and it would tear me apart if he didnt accept her. i wish you the best of luck and take one day at a time. this could be a good thing.
2006-06-27 02:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by mrsbeisner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he needs to get a DNA test done cuz there could be a chance it's not even his. If she served you court papers if you don't prove it is not his you'll be responsible for it. Sorry but if it is his child like it or not he has to do what is right. People don't use there heads when it comes to sex and it is the price you have pay for it. One night of fun leads to 18 years of responsibility.
2006-06-27 10:25:34 · answer #5 · answered by weeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have a past. Unless he cheated on you, then I can understand your resentment in this situaion. Love your child first, but if you want to keep your relationship... then you WILL have to accept the other baby. That's a part of your husband also. Yes, he should get a paternity test. He may have to pay child support. Don't get tooo frazzled until you get the results, especially being pregnant. That can be hard on your baby. Stress sucks and is unhealthy. Good luck with this and your baby to be. (SJR)
2006-06-27 02:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by sandra r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i know you mean paternity test and yes he should cause they can slap him with child support even if the child is not his. And i dont think you should love the child like your own but like a step child and respect that your hubby has another child. But you know if the test says he is not the father then who care right. But yeah i would make him take the test.
2006-06-27 01:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would strongly suggest he take a paternity test for his own peace of mind (so there will never be doubt about the situation ),and as far as the relationship between you and the child deal with it after the test, your pregnant and should not deal with that stress right now
2006-06-27 01:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by sharmi2503 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it was my situation I would suggest a paternity test this can cut down A LOT of confusion later TRUST ME! and then go from there. Make sure you check with your local state about child support laws and paternity testing. Try one of thos any lab test places....You guys could go through the courts to the test done also GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-27 01:39:34 · answer #9 · answered by reality_check_2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a paternity test. If this woman had one one-night stand, whose to say she didn't have more in that same time frame. If the girl is his, love her as your husband's daughter, not as "that woman's kid". An upside if it its his, your child will already have a big sister! Trust me, even babies like having kids around. Please don't be selfish, if this child is your husband's he needs to take responsibility and as his wife, so do you.
2006-06-27 09:31:18 · answer #10 · answered by proud_usmc_wife04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will have to take a dna test and when and if it comes back 99.9% that the child is his then he will be having to pay child support.
Remember that child is not at fault and it is not it's problem who it's mommy and daddy is.
Don't take it out on that child. She can't help it. But if it is your husbands baby then he needs to be a father to it just like he will be to your baby
2006-06-27 06:08:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋