ok well here's the situation.. my boyfriend doesn't have a job coz he wasnt able to graduate. i have a job. so im always the one letting the money out whenever we go out, watch movies, and even buy his necessary needs.. i feel so bummed about it coz everytime id tell him to look 4 a job, he'd just say yes i will, but never acted on it... but at the same time, i still keep on spending money on him coz he has no money.. what can i do to stop this dilemma of mine? that's the only thing that i got so bummed about in our relationship, other than that, he's a loyal boyfriend...
2006-06-26 18:18:33 · 18 answers · asked by marlianne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop the dilemma by saying we ain't going out anymore because you can't afford it. Simply say--things are tight honey with you not working and all, so we ain't going to the movies tonight.. or any other night.
If he wants to work he will... if he doesn't, this is the beginning of a long line of problems (this side of his personality), so you may want to rethink any long term anything... until he gets off his as-s.
Listen, as long as you continue to pay, you continue to enable him NOT to get a job... You are enabling him to be lazy like this. You need to stop enabling him and paying for his extras at the very least. I can see paying for deoderant and things like that but movies and extras... NO... and you don't have to be mean about it just that you can't afford it. That simple.
Enabling... is not healthy for either one of you... :)
2006-06-26 18:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by xxxcariooo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to set up boundaries and expectations. 1) if he did not graduate he needs to get his GED and some kind of trade, he can go to a trade school for this. 2)since he did not go to school and finish when he had the opportunity, now he has to do it the hardway, work and go to school at the same time. 3)set a time limit, how long do you really want to deal with this??? I say 2 wks to start a job and a month to get registered somewhere for classes or ged testing whichever he needs. If he does not meet the expectations, cut him loose. If you want loyalty get a dog, they are cheaper, and more appreciative!!!!!!!!
2006-06-27 01:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by simplyfabulous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K what's REALLY going on! r we as women so desperate that we r willing to be the bread winner & and the bread spinner get a grip ladies we wonder y r men r so lazy because we r footing the bill on everything and falling 4 the oldest trick in the book its just another way to pimp us we r still giving the pimp our money we just dont have to walk the street as far as school he can work and go to school it's not rocket science
2006-06-27 01:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by appletini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are U sure that he is not playing the same game with other girls? If sure, continue this practise till he gets a good job. He will give you full return from your money and trust.
2006-06-27 03:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by dharap123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you hear excuses... it's time to run.
excuse no. 1: i can't get a job
regardless of his schooling, he CAN get a job. just about any sales position does not require schooling (in fact, they prefer you if you're a clean slate). also, he can get all sorts of necessary training in apprenticeship programs, trade schools, etc. etc.
the longer you provide for him, the harder it is going to be for him to get on his own feet. your relationship may excel in other areas, but down the road--finances will become a bigger issue. it's the number one reason why people get divorced!
so--if you really love him, stop paying for stuff.
if you can't, or he's pressuring you to keep paying for things--leave him.
good luck!
g
2006-06-27 01:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by gertieok 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop buying him crap. When he stops getting his handouts he'll go look for a job. And yes, he can get a job even if he doesn't have a damn degree.
2006-06-27 01:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by shakia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww dang well girl sometimes you just gotta be real with him tell him how you feel ..tell him its time to man up ..he should respect that ..as long as you keep buying him the things he needs I dont think he's gonna get a job lol man o man good luck to yah !!
2006-06-27 01:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he doesn't act to what you say obviously he doesn't want to work and wants you to work only. He is safe and has an income coming from you. He needs to work so he can start supporting himself.
2006-06-27 01:24:25 · answer #8 · answered by Kaena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend gives hope when life is low. A friend is a place where you can go. A friend is honest- A friend is true. A friend is precious. A friend is u!
2006-06-27 01:28:58 · answer #9 · answered by arajaajmali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I bet he's loyal to his momma too. GET a clue. As long as you keep supporting him, he has no reason to getta job....
2006-06-27 01:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋