I had a little girl last year with what I thought to be a good friend of mine for 10 years know he wants nothing to do with me or her.Thats one thing I'm mad about but the other thing is this.Since he never thought he was the fater he never told his mom or dad that he as a little girl with me in fact they dont even know me but I know them.The thing is I see his dad all the time at a local casino My mom tells me to say some thing to him or show him picture of her but I'm scared of what he might say. what do you think.
2006-06-26 18:11:41 · 19 answers · asked by Tammy S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well, this is a hard one but consider this: he has basically given up his parental rights to your daughter. But that does NOT mean that you should give up on giving your daughter the right to know about her past, her heritage, and her family. Also, just because their son gave up his rights, does not mean that his parents would want to give up on a grandaughter. I think that you should bring this up to them and offer to prove it with a paternity test if they request it. If they refuse to have a relationship with your daughter as grandparents after the fact, then you can be relieved that you did everything in your power to establish a loving relationship between your daughter and her paternal grandparents. If both parties give up or refuse their rights to your daughter (I don't mean the legal rights, just the fact that they want to be in her life) then just go on with your life and give your daughter the best life that you can full of love and positive experiences. There is no room in her life for drama or rejection. Best of luck to the both of you!!! Never give up and don't be afraid of her father's reaction!!! Remember, as long as you have your daughter's best interest, you are protected by law!!! Don't let him ruin her life with her family. Best wishes!!!
2006-06-26 23:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mexi Poff 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Okay I hope that this doesn't sound too mean but if he doesn't want to see the baby forget him. I mean do you really want to chase down a guy for him to love your daughter?? Just spend all that extra energy on her instead. I mean a lot of people think that just because some one can have kids(I mean the Dad in this case) that makes them a good parent. well let me tell you it doesn't. Your daughter will be just fine without him and maybe you'll be lucky enough to find a great guy that won't be her biological dad but will love her all the same. Also Don't play the parent card, you may not like the outcome.
2006-06-27 01:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by COURTNEY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave the situation alone with the grandparents until I took the father to court and got what is called in NYS an order of filiation. (I'm a lawyer, I cant help giving you an answer that involves court!) When you go to court, if your good friend/baby daddy denies your baby is his, the court will order a DNA test and put the matter to rest. Then, when you get your results, you can introduce the grandparents to your daughter, if you want. (Next time you see them, you could say "Aren't you X's dad? My name is X and me and your son have a baby together. Would you like to see a picture?" or something like that, )
AND/or you can seek child support from your goodfriend/baby daddy through the court (you don't have to, unless you are receiving public assistance).
2006-06-27 11:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that if the guy wants nothing to do with you or the baby girl then let him alone, he is a loser. One day you are going to meet a good guy who wants to care for you and your baby girl and you won't want the loser around causing trouble. I know it is tough raising a child on your own but when your knight in shinning armor comes along and sweeps you off your feet then you will be glad that you never persued the loser.
2006-06-27 03:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. If you are sure he is the father, and it sounds like you are, I would let him know that you are going to tell his parents. They have a right to know that they have a grandchild! They may want to share in your daughter's life, even if he doesn't want to. And it might just help convince him that he's making a mistake by not being a father to his daughter. Good luck!
2006-06-27 01:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by dmonstergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a court order for him to get a blood test, the police will make sure he does it. You won't have to be involved. At that point his parents should begin to catch on after you start collecting the child support. =) I'd do it if I were you. No man should run from his child like a coward.
2006-06-27 01:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by Spirit-X 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may get defensive or angry if you confront him in person. He may just be too shocked to know how to respond. The better thing to do would be to get their address and send a letter explaining that you don't want money, don't want to force a relationship, but you thought they should know.
Include your address and phone number in case they are interested in a relationship with your daughter.
2006-06-27 01:18:04 · answer #7 · answered by Jen H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've told the father already and he doesnt want to claim the baby....the grandparents still have the right to know about a grand kid. Just make sure you tell them the right way...not just yelling "Youre son knocked me up."
2006-06-27 01:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by tab_toes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just leave it alone, because I did the right thing in the same situation, 13 years ago, and now I don't have my son, because his father took him. Good Luck
2006-06-27 01:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by April 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does his parents have to do with it? if you can honestly answer this question, you will get the answer? Remember you have to let the man know he is a father first before you tell his parents or it will look like a trick to get him back
2006-06-27 01:19:50 · answer #10 · answered by ngina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋