What do you do, if you've fallen for your best friend when he has a girlfriend which you befriended too?

Question

I've known my best friend for a few years now....and i realise this feeling just about 4 years ago....he and his girlfriend been getting together for about 2 and a half years now, when i started to realise the feelings for him i wasn't going to tell him about it, cause he has been such a good friend and i don't think the idea of jeopardizing it is good....and so i kept it deeply within me....and now they are getting married in a years time.....

while hurting his girlfriend by telling how i felt for him now it's gonna backfire me for sure....& that will be the last thing i'm gonna do, cuz she's a really nice girl, and i hate the guilt feeling of hurting someone like her!

Answer 1

Oh, man. Do I remember this feeling well.

I fell for my best friend when I was 18. He was with a woman, and they were having a baby. I kept dating other people, because I thought that there was never a chance that we would end up together. They were engaged, too, so what were the chances? I was friends with her at one point, until I realized just how badly she treated him. Either way, because we were all in the same group of a large group of friends, I couldn't just try to 'steal' him, which isn't like me anyways.

So I waited ... and waited ... dated some more ... and waited some more.

Eventually, they broke up. It took 5 years, but it finally happened. We have been together for 3 years now and are getting married in 2.

Moral of the story? Go about your life. If it's going to happen, it will. If it doesn't, it shouldn't matter because you've gone on with your life. If you feel that you can't control yourself, don't hang out with them as much. It's a sucky feeling, I know, but NEVER act on it while he is with someone else. That will not look good on you.

Answer 2

Simple! Be open to your best friend about your emotions! Speak to him about it,...thats what best friends are for! Remember..HE WAS AND HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND....the fall came later! Why would you be scared that it will hurt the friendship? As a friend he will understand your emotions ...as a man he will be happy that you loved him so...)...BUT PLEASE DONT BE ADAMENT THAT IT SHOULD WORK OUT...i mean the fall part...YOU CAN LOVE HIM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU WANT..no one is going to stop you from doing that except yourself...but make sure in the process that you dont tread on anyones happiness let alone your best friend's and his girl friend's who is also your friend now!

Answer 3

Wait 3 months after they break up, then ask her permission to go out with him

Answer 4

First you kick yourself in the a$$ for waiting so long to make a move. Second you cut your losses.

Answer 5

dont tell him until he breaks up with your friend. it sound exactly like my problem.

one of my really good friends is going out with another of my really good guy friends and its hard. but im waiting.

and you know what when he does break up with her you cant just go and ask him out you might want to talk to your friend about it before you ask him out if u do ask him out. because she might be hurt that you asked him out and you could wind up in a serious fight with your friend.

my friend has liked a guy for a really long time now. and during that really long time i went out with him and she laid off. but when i broke up with him she went back to liking him again. and she only told me like 2 months ago about how she liked him but im cool with it because im glad that she confronted me with her feelings about him. and you know what your friend might feel the same way i did when my friend told me about how she felt about my ex. and she is now thinking of asking him out and im happy for her because if you asked me they are such a good couple. so just talk to your friend after they break up. if you talk to your friend while they are still going out she might think that he is cheating on her and break his heart when it isnt true or she might think you could do something to make him break up with her or her to break up with him so that he could be yours. so just wait. wait and then talk.

Answer 6

whoa that's hard! well, you can tell your bestfriend that you've fallen for him.. at least by doing that, you can be honest to him and also to yourself. or you can avoid your bestfriend till your feelings for him disappears... find a new circle of friends.. :)