I know its not proper to ask for money in lieu of gifts for a wedding?

Question

But my finacee and I don't need a thing. We have everything. Please help!

Answer 1

It's your wedding, ask for what you wish. People ask for everything from designer dinnerware to cars and home down payments. I have seen two ideas which were quite lovely and tastefully done. At one large wedding, a group of guests had designed a money tree in the brides wedding colors. They had silver and gold clips throughout the tree. Another friend's daughter had a beautiful nest of doves decorated with "let's feather the nest". In both of these instances people were free to either bring a gift or clip a bill or check to the tree, or tuck it in the nest. Both couples were able to use the funds for whatever larger purchases they needed.

Answer 2

For couples wishing to NOT receive traditonal gifts it is most proper and correct to add a message to the wedding invitation.

Now I don't know your circumstance, but if you are not in need of gifts then perhaps you don't need cash either? Or just simply don't need five toasters and 3 blenders and would need the cash more?

One way to approach the "non traditional" gift thing is to ask instead:

The Newlyweds ask that in lieu of traditional gifts that everyone please offer a monetary gift and/or donation to:

"Our Childrens College Fund"
"Our First Home Fund"
"1st Anniversary Fund" or whatever you see may be a question of cash flow in the future.

Go to your local bank or which ever you do business with and open an account. If you already do business with them you can probally get one opened for free, but one of their savings account started for about $25, $50 in some. This amount can also be a wonderful gift from a family member or in-law wishing to be the one to give you the best gift!

And if cash is not a problem for you and you would like to give back to the community or some local charity or your Church or some Hospital, or whatever you may be into?

Then for about a $100 you can start YOUR own
"Donor Advised Philanthropic" fund. And this is a wonderful thing for those with deceased parents or relatives that you would like to commemorate.

You can call it whatever you want to:

The "whoever" Family Garden (for burials)
The "whoever" Family Gift of Life ( for animal shelters)
"family name" YMCA Contributiuons.

But you get the idea here..........

I wish you all the happiness in your future.

Anna M.

Answer 3

I find it extremely tacky when people ask for anything in an invitation. A relative of mine did and I can tell you she got a whole lot of toasters and teacups as the whole family was insulted.

Most people I believe give cash as a rule but there are traditionalists that don't believe in it. Some want you to have something special to remember them and the day.
The best way is to have your immediate family spread the word. Most people that are close to the family will probably ask them for gift ideas anyway. If you are interested in some big ticket items - register for them at a gift registry. Some home builders even have a gift registry where relatives can contribute to a down payment on a new home.

Answer 4

You can't put it in the invitation, it's not proper etiquette, and it's tacky. You have to have family and friends spread the word, but beware, you're still going to get gifts, so you might as well register somewhere so you at least get what you want. I just got married 2 weeks ago and we spread the word that we wanted money, but we also registerd at Bed Bath & Beyond for those that really don't want to give money. We had our family and friends spread the word and if anyone seemed like they really didn't want to give money then they were told where we were registered. We had a guest list of 110, and we got a lot of money and just a few gifts, it worked out perfect. But, if you don't register anywhere, you're going to get gifts that you don't want and can't be returned. It will work, I promise. We got way more money than I ever thought and it really came in handy.

Answer 5

The way we put it on our wedding invitations.. because we'd been living together for 6 years before actually getting married.. was.. just that.. we've been together for quite some time and really are not in need of anything however, we've registered at the following two stores and have a small selection of items for you to choose from. However, bring a gift is not necessary, your presence at our wedding is enough. If you would still like to do something, we are hoping to purchase some antiques for our house and anybody wishing to assist us in this endeavour can make a gift of cash that will go toward us aquiring our antiques..... or something like that... at our wedding, we got 4 gifts... the rest gave us cash and we got our antiques.
Good luck!

Answer 6

If you have everything you need, then you shouldn't be asking for money either. DO NOT put anything related to gift registry or cash gifts with the invitations....it's poor etiquette. Gift registry or cash requests should be handled through word of mouth. Let your parents and your bridal party know your request so that they can let people know ONLY when asked. Even better, ask people to donate to their favorite charity in lieu of gifts.

Answer 7

I just got an invitation in the mail today. It says at the end, if you choose a gift for us a gift of cash is an appreciated alternative as we are saving for big ticket items.
hope it all work out, and I've never been to a wedding that i didnt give money. I had a ceremony of 30 people and got about 1,200 and ofcourse some gifts.
good luck

Answer 8

I agree with "heretoday" in that telling the family is the apinless way to go. I am too getting married (may 31, 2007) and we are just telling my large family and his small one that we would prefer money for the honeymoon. since we are so young, I can't imagine being given a juicer or cappacino maker, we prefer the cash.
Since our wedding is smallish (about 130) we can spread the word easily by telling family members. For a larger wedding you may have to think of another way.

Answer 9

It is improper to ASK for anything. If you have everything you
need, why would you ask for money.
A marriage is a celebration, not a request for gifts.
It is proper to include a card saying no gifts requested as you have everything you need.. Some people might get the hint and give you the cash you are looking for.

Answer 10

Um, well if it goes against tradition then it may not be easy; but I can't see why not just do it and ask for the cash at the outset. Actually, all of my family paid me cash. I never asked for it but the wedding was in South Afrika- with my wife's family- so maybe they couldn't really send gifts.

Good luck with the wedding. May you have delight in everything that you do.