I need some good one liners....lol?

Question

My hubby is always saying smart *** things and I can never get him back cause I'm just not a fast thinker.... anyone got anything I can use at a later date???

Answer 1

These are funny...

Women's One Liners

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
A hard-on does not count as personal growth.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
Do I look like a fricking people person?
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
See no evil, hear no evil, and date no evil.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I am doing my best to imagine you with a personality.
Okay, okay I take it back. Un-**** you!
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
And which dwarf are you?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
It's not the size that counts, it's the, umm, actually it is the size.

Answer 2

Well if he calls you stupid just say "So that's why I married you!"

If he calls you fat say "They say women turn to chocolate when they are not sexually satisfied"

If he says you talk too much try "If I thought you understood me the first time, I would stop talking"

And if says something really insulting come back with "I think you are confusing me with your Mother!"

Please keep in mind that these might make him a bit angry........

Answer 3

sometimes your dumber then a box of rocks

at least a box of rocks has 4 corners that are sharp

thanks,

SS

Answer 4

if he says make me you say meke me make you and it goes on and on until you forget what u r arguing about and then it is all ok

Answer 5

'It takes one to know one.' usually works,
or 'when God made man, she was only joking!'
Or 'when God made man, she said 'Nah, I can do better than that!".

Answer 6

My **** is bigger than yours.