my boyfirend and I have been dating for about 4 months and we are very close but lately we have been fighting over the dumbest things and we do not talk as much as we use to what is wrong with us. Does everyone go through this in their relationship or its it just us. Help me please i dont want to loose him he means the world to me.
2006-06-26 14:50:54 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been with my fella for 18 years and I can tell youit is normal your HONEYMOON period is over and you are just developing together sorting out what is important or not. If you can see yourself looking at him over a newspaper in 50 years time and thinking yay this was a great ride then stick at it otherwise.....
2006-06-26 14:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 2⤋
Yeah, it's true. There is no way to "go back to the begining". EVERY relationship sucks at time to time. You have to learn to get through it and resolve issues you fight about to prevent them from coming back later. There's no easy way out and there's no rewind button. I wish there was, myself.
My bf and I had the same thing a little while ago. It sucks balls... but you have to really try hard to make relationships last. That's why they're so beautiful. Nothing easy is ever worth it in the end.
If you can get past this period of arguments, you will be stronger and appreciate each other more for being big enough to admit your problems or admit one of you was wrong and you will love and respect a person you can openly tell what you hate about them and be able to come up with a solution. Vice versa for him, as well.
Good luck!
2006-06-26 14:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by Alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural for relationships to go into ups and down's. The main point is that you don't want to loose him. That's a good thing. The question is, does he want to loose you? Ask him. If the answer is no, then you're in good shape.
What do you fight about? Is it really dumb, or is it something that's important to you (each of you individually). Is it more important than your relationship? If it's not important, why are you fighting about it?
Are there a lot of external influences in your life? IMHO, couples tend to fight when they are stressed (when my parents move, for example) or when there is financial distress. If tha'ts the problem, work together to figure that out. Maybe not the stress itself, but how you react to it.
I'd also suggest talking to a counselor (rather than Yahoo answers) if you want the real answer.
2006-06-26 14:59:38 · answer #3 · answered by PoJohn1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in realationships you have up days and down days, its just like that. me and my fiance have been together for 2 yrs and things are better than the beginning the one thing constant in the world is change. In love change is unstoppable but the change should be healthy and beautiful. You grow to know each other better, Id say just do ur part to make it peaches anything else u cant control. I sometimes find myself thinking of the fresh days only to remember how far we have come and how close we have gotten. The beginning is only a nice memory to be a foundation for the present.
2006-06-26 14:59:26 · answer #4 · answered by imaganae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The law of relationships says that you cannot take one back to the beginning. Never happen. The only thing that you can hope for is to keep it from crashing. Try being subserviant and submissive to him and not combative or argumentative. Cater to his every whim and make him feel like a king. Before you pass judgement on me you might try it, I mean look what you have accomplished in only 4 months.
2006-06-26 14:56:07 · answer #5 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't put it back the way it was in the beginning...that new relationship energy is gone, and although you CAN right things if you both choose to, it won't be as it initially was. Get your communication back on track, without it the relationship is pretty much doomed. Look behond the 'dumb fights' and find the root of them...what's spawning the arguing itself? Is someone feeling insecure and trying to fight back?
2006-06-26 14:54:24 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were you doing the first four months? Probably learning about one another. The new things in the relationship are what make it fun to date someone. You just have to add some spontenaity to your relationship. Try new things you havent done before, it should be fun and zest up your relationship.
2006-06-26 14:54:27 · answer #7 · answered by lameskater 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe alot of people go thru that but are you two spending too much time together or are you perhaps being too clingy or needy? That tends to smother the other partner and can cause alot of hard feelings just be truthful and ask him whats wrong and accept what he has to say without total drama. baddgirltat
2006-06-26 14:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by baddgirltat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a book called "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman... he explains in the book that everyone expresses their love differently. These are the 5 love languages (Quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts and acts of service). For example if someone is words of affirmation and you show love through physical touch, then they might not feel they are loved. It helps you learn the language of your partner and then you will know how to make him feel loved based on his love language.
2006-06-26 14:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by rebekah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After just 4 months? Uhh, if you two are fighting already and you are asking how to get it like it was in the beginning then you two need to reevaluate yourselves and then you as a couple.
2006-06-26 14:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by mamajoven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to let go. Your boyfriend will sense your desperation and this could push him away further. You might want to read "I'm just not that into you". Loosen up and relax as much as you can. Enjoy and find other interests as this will make you a more interesting person.
2006-06-26 15:02:40 · answer #11 · answered by c f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋