Even though I usually don't feel it, I have been told I am attractive and often receive compliments from men and women alike. Yet my boyfriend does not seem to be able to manage to deliver one, even when I feel I am looking my best. I try so hard to look good for myself and for him. I don't want to become a man-pleaser but the nice words of others make me feel great. It would mean so much coming from him. He says (when forced) that he really respects me and finds me attractive. Yet he finds it easy to comment on 'pretty' or 'beautiful' girls he used to date or works with. I am desperate for him to say something that will make me melt. Surely every girl should be made to feel like the most beautiful girl in the world in their boyfriend's eyes, no matter what they look like?
2006-06-26 13:45:46 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Possible answers
1. he's a pig and doesn't really like you, but can't tell you
2. he's never good giving his feelings and is more scared of hurting your feelings if it comes out wrong
3. he assumes you know how he feels.
4. do you compliment him? you may be getting what you give
5. he doesn't understand how important it is that he not be forced to compliment you. that it's important to you because it makes you feel even more attractive.
you're not being a man-pleaser. you're pleasing yourself to know you are wanted. he needs to tell you from time to time that you are wanted. or you need to find someone who wants you more.
2006-06-26 13:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Ananke402 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many guys just aren't like that and sometimes are not comfortable saying things like that. Problem is, you are in a relationship with someone who does give you what you want in that respect. Maybe you should find someone you are attracted to and has a romantic personality. Giving a compliment to a woman I may be in a relationship is like foreplay. When I'm in a relationship I do it throughout the day and night and many times its driven her so crazy she'd leave work because she can't stand it anymore. Romance is not only a word, a sentence, chivalry or gifts but also the subtle actions, like the way you look at her, a smile from across the room or feather like touch to her arm/hand as you walk by her. I'd have to write a book to tell you all the things I've done which has made them feel special and loved. I say find someone who is capable of being that way if you really want to find true love.
May the wings of your angels brush lightly upon your soul and guide you to all that you hold in your heart.
2006-06-26 13:58:20 · answer #2 · answered by jimmyweda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Alana on the honesty with you and the sociable response only to the point of the enthusiasm was over doing the compliment. This lack of compliments sounds like you feel he no longer finds you as attractive or puts effort forth to reciprocate on the stroking of your emotions. He said it is not his way, so then what is his way ? Does he do things for you or just serve himself ? This is a relationship and you want to understand how he is relating ! The message you are getting is discouraging and he should want you to understand, not just expect you to quench your thirst with an empty glass. Assuming needs to be fueled with an occasional confirmation. Some time when he tells you he is hungry, pass him an empty plate or a very small portion of serving and use it as example.
2016-03-27 05:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not quite sure why he acts like that, but on special occasions in which he sees you dressed up like in a wedding party, a birthday, or any occasion that requires you to dress up really nice, if in case he's with you on those occasions, and still doesn't say anything, then im afraid he might not care too much at all about the way you look. but no worries, if he one day doesn't like the way you look, i think he might or should tell you about your look and once you change into a better look after his opinion, maybe he'll let out a compliment. Say! you should try that.
2006-06-26 13:56:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand what you're saying. My boyfriend sounds similar. I think he's gotten lazy now that he knows I'm around for the long run, and he's gotten into a sense of security when he takes me a bit for granted. I can't really offer any advice because I don't think these type of men change, they're just stubborn, so we either have to put up with it, or move on. Either that, or you could try and make him jealous by alerting him to the fact that all these other guys think you're hot etc.
2006-06-26 13:50:48 · answer #5 · answered by Aussie Chick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not up to him to "make" you feel anything. Confidence is very appealing, and although compliments can be great, not everyone expresses themselves that way (I'm not a huge compliment giver myself). If you have to work a compliment out of him, how sincere do you feel it will be? Apparently you'velet him know how you feel (if not, then why haven't you?) so you're going to have to let him be who he is...and that may be someone who doesn't give a lot of compliments verbally (doesn't mean he doesn't think them).
2006-06-26 13:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hit the idiot on the head, and just come right out with it, ask him why, and tell him, what you told us. Some guys are just dumb and don't think about a womans feelings. He may be totally unaware of your feelings.
Let's hope, he just isn't taking you for granted. If he is, one day, he will be on the outside, looking in, to you with some guy, who does appreciate you and tells you that, often.
2006-06-26 13:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
john is right. some guys just can't compliment their girl. i my old boyfriend had no problem telling me how hot other girls were but never complimented me. but he was weird. he couldn't even take a compliment. he'd get really defensive. it didn't work out in my case. but i wouldn't worry much about it. also, what do you mean by he compliments you when forced? do you force him to?
2006-06-26 13:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boyfriends always seem to take us for granted... At the very beginning of a relationship they might compliment, but then they tend to forget that we like hearing it from them.
2006-06-26 13:49:18 · answer #9 · answered by Defiant_Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he thinks your gorgeous! and doesn't want to tell you so because you might leave him. Work on giving him compliments like " babe you look really hot when you wear those jeans. Trust me, he'll be returning the compliments in no time
2006-06-26 14:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Bgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋