Could someone please give me an example of a point system for discipline a 6 year old boy?

Question

My DH & I wanting to do a point system for our 6 year old son but we are unsure of what really works. Should we just reward or take away points too? Please give examples.
Thanks!

Answer 1

At first you want to reward...and reward for positive things (making positive choices, doing proper activities, etc).

As he gets more and more positive reinforcement, the negative behaviors should decrease. Also, as time progresses you may need to look at the point system again and make it a little more challenging. Not much but maybe up the ante for a few things that were "easy".

If this goes well, then you should consider taking away points after this. It is another way of upping the ante but still something to work towards.

You want to involve your son with the rewards. What does he like to do? What does he like to play with? Something that will be of interest to him.

Last and most importantly, you MUST MUST MUST remain consistent. If one of you lags on a particular behavior and rewards things that shouldn't be rewarded then you are defeating the purpose. My professor in my grad studies said you want to find a particular behavior...one specific behavior (ex: saying "thank you" when given an item he asks for). Don't make it too broad because you won't know what to reward. If he gets this down, find another behavior and work on that.

I don't know what would be an acceptable target point level for your son since I don't know the scenario. You will need to come up with a level that will be acheivable by a certain time say after a day, two days, 5 days. It gets worse before it gets better. Just remain consistent!

Answer 2

Try the card system. Make a pocket out of construction paper or an old library book pocket. Make four cards: one green, one yellow, one red, and one black. Each day, your child starts out with a green card. You can pre-determine what kind of behavior merits what color card, or decide as you go. The idea is similar to traffic lights. Green=great! Yellow= slow down. Red= stop! , and black=you've gone too far! Usually, a minor infractions warrants a yellow card, and another infraction after that warrants a red card, etc. Although some behaviors are drastic enough to warrant a red card immediately. You get the idea. At the end of each day, use a hole puncher to mark the card that your child ended up with at the end of the day. You can develop a rewards system, such as 10 green punches deserves homemade cookies, or thirty green punches deserves a trip to the zoo. This way, your child can decide if he wants to save up punches for something really special, or spend them on little things frequently. I hope this gives you some ideas!

Answer 3

I made up my own "coin" reward for my 5 year old son. We made an envelope out of construction paper that we hang on the frig and call the bank. We cut out 30 circles out of construction paper and put $ signs on either side and call them coins. When our son does simple chores (takes his plate to the kitchen counter, brushes his teeth, bathes himself, picks up toys) he gets a coin. All his chores are done with help, it's just a matter that he does them without arguing. He's added chores all by himself...he helps carry in groceries without being asked and he loves to help in the yard. We reward each Friday depending on the number of coins in his "bank". They are simple rewards, 1/2 an hour watching one of his shows, 1/2 an hour staying up past bedtime (during the summer), an extra trip to the park, a happy meal, a small toy from the dollar store, etc. The biggest reward we give is if he has all 30 coins in a week, we either buy a bigger toy or do something special that he has mentioned wanting to do. It has really worked for us. Good luck!

**I forgot to mention that we don't take coins away for bad behavior...once they are earned, they stay.

Answer 4

One thing that I do is make a chart and whenever one of the kids does something good, they get a star, and if they do something bad, they get a check by their name. I think it really helps when they can actually see what they have done, rather it's a star or a check! I have to tell ya, we seen such a difference in our children when we started doing this. And when they seen that after so many stars they would receive an award of some kind, candy, toy, special place to eat out at, they did better!

Answer 5

Go to this web site and decide for yourself:
spare-rods.com


hopefully that will help.
My boys are 7 & 8 yrs old and I don't raise my voice at them. I say it once and thats it. We play fight, jump on the trampoline, shoot basketball, and ride dirt bike together. But I'm the adult and will lay down the rules. If one is broken they decide the punshment. Example: How many swats, days hours, min. or what ever it may be.

I LOVE MY BOYS AND TELL THEM EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY AS WELL AS HUG THEM BUT WE TOO HAVE SOME PROBLEMS. BUT THEY DO COME AND HUG ME AND TELL ME THAT THEY LOVE ME TOO.

ADOPTED AT AGES 4 & 5.

There are two ways of spreading the light, to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

YOU DECIDE,
STEPHANIE

Answer 6

you should be able to reward them and take them away. use low numbers though. that way he can understand it better. I suggest you keep a chalk board or white board and then it will be easier to take away the points. my parents gave me a couple points for doing something good but took away only 1 for misbehavior. and you should give your son warnings because he may forget whats not appropriate sometimes. i actually think point systems work very well for young children because they love getting stuff and hate losing it...

Answer 7

I don't exactly use a point system with our kids but I do have a system that both works for changing behaviours you don't like and also helps them understand making good decisions for themselves. I went to a local Wal-Mart and bought a roll of tickets. Each day each of my kids recieve 6 tickets. Each ticket is worth 15 mintues of TV, or Video game, or computer time. As the day progresses they can lose tickets, and thus time doing the things they enjoy most, by misbehaving. Most things are only 1 ticket as a fine, but some, like outright disobeying mom or raising their voice when addressing mom, they can be major ticket takers, like three. Lying is also a three ticket item. I have a friend who also is trying this with her four boys but she gives them opportunity to earn extra tickets...I don't like that idea because it gives them the idea that they can mess up and then kiss up to win their time back. I explained to them that in the grown up world if adults mess up they can get fines....that is what losing tickets is to them. We call them good time tickets. Good luck and enjoy this time in his life......it goes tooooo fast!

Answer 8

There were no point systems when I had 4 little ones~
We simply prayed together about whatever happened
and seeing that Mom/Dad looked to a Higer Authority
worked for us.
Try it!

Answer 9

well i am a dad if my 2 little girls did somthing bad i would use a chart like if they got one point they have to eat all their dinner.
if they got 2 points they would clean their toys up off the carpet
3 points:would be go to bed early
4: i wouldnt read to them their favorite bed time story
5:i wouldnt tuck them in at night
and final but no least 6 i would just not buy them somthing that they really wanted.

the thing is dont give in to them even though they throw tantrums keep your punishments alive

Answer 10

Make them do pushups, Its good for them while it hurts them . What I do is I tell them to do 30 pushups when they can only do 20. Their allowance is 10$ a week . For every pushup they dont do they lose 2$. If they miss more than five not only do they lose their whole allowance, I add one day of grounding for every pushup they miss after five .They stay in shape and they get disciplined. (I dont feed them chicken when they misbehave all lettuce and a little bit of white rice and sauce).