My gf and I have been together for about 1 1/2 and we both love each other dearly. She has two kids (daughter 14, son 12) and her son wanted to go visit his dad in Reno, NV. She said that was fine but the other day he called and told her he didnt want to come home cause he didnt like me. He said he wanted to make her happy by not comming home and getting in a fight with me everynight.
The reasons we got in fights all the time is cause he would never do what he was told and would never listen to his mom nor me. And he would call us every name in the book! He likes me when I give him his way but the one day I told him "NO" he started hating me. Should I leave and tell her that it is better that I dont get between her and her son or is it just a faze he is going though?
Please Help I really love her and I dont want this to end!
2006-06-26 13:10:20 · 7 answers · asked by stayoutofharmsway 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to talk to her about this.
2006-06-26 13:13:05 · answer #1 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Step families are tough, especially for kids, and especially for kids who are going into their teen years and already have a problem with authority, as most teens do. If his parents were still together, he would be trying to find ways to rebel against and complain about them. You are an easy target because they are divorced. I commend you for offering to walk away rather than interfere with her children. That shows you are an honorable man who would never ask her to choose between you and the children. BUT IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS WOMAN, you will marry her and you will talk to the son and say that you love his mother, you want him in your life and you will do whatever it takes to make that happen. There is counseling available for step families and you should take advantage of it IF you marry this woman. A live in boyfriend is not someone that a child can or should count on or look up to. Step families are tricky in the best of circumstances. Always know that her word is the final word on her son and daughter. You are owed respect as her HUSBAND but you are not an authority figure. Good Luck.
2006-06-26 20:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by PDY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the mother and the father need to talk. Is the father going to give him his way? I doubt it. The parents need to agree to be the same in discipline and the kid will probably come home on his own. He's going to pick the easiest parent right now. I doubt she wants you to leave her. Marry her then you are his new DAD. Keep trying with him.
2006-06-26 21:02:38 · answer #3 · answered by Mache 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont walk away from love whatever you do. Kids will be kids. He just might want to stay with his dad but he doesnt want to say that to his mom and hurt her feelings so hes making up that its all because of you. Who knows . But dont leave. If she asks you to, then I would..
2006-06-26 20:22:34 · answer #4 · answered by melkin731 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will have to decide if she wants you having authority over her kids (being allowed to tell them what to do). If she does, then she has to explain to him that it would be that way with any guy she dated, that she supports the things you tell him "no" to. Her son has to learn that he has to listen to the adults in his life. Ultimately it is up to her, just tell her you support her whatever decision she makes. Offer to have family counseling with the kids.
2006-06-26 20:43:47 · answer #5 · answered by daisy519 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he need some displine and if she dont like it to bad . but if you like her the way you keep talking about her sit down with her and the child and talk it over
2006-06-26 20:17:03 · answer #6 · answered by cutey with the booty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-06-26 20:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by dann b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋