My brother is dating this girl, let's call her Ashley. They love each other. But there's one problem: my brother's friend, let's call him Allen, loves Ashley. Allen and Ashley used to date and now Allen wants her back. Allen has threatened Ashely that if she doesn't start seeing him, he will kill himself. This has been going on for a couple days now. Obviously this is a huge problem. My brother isn't sure if he will actually kill himself or not, but he doesn't want to risk the chance. My brother and Ashley aren't sure what to do and he came to me for advice and now I need advice. Please help.
2006-06-26 13:03:20 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
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2006-06-26 13:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by Shelby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a philosophy about suicide. If someone kills him or herself, it is like they never existed in the first place.
It is a cop-out, a final way of getting attention. Once it is done, the person is all but forgotten and life goes on. I know of no-one who has been hurt by someone else committing suicide. In my life, I know of more than a dozen people who have committed suicide - I can't even remember their names.
Tell "Allen" to move on, meet new people and live a full life. If it were meant to be then he and "Ashley" will get together again sometime in the future, not because he threatens to commit suicide. And if it's not meant to be, then they both will find their true loves and live their own lives.
Of course if "Allen" chooses to end it all, then he succeeded, except he will only end it for himself. He needs to realize that if he does commit suicide, "Ashley" will live on and he will be forgotten.
2006-06-26 13:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by Newt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allen is most likely making idle threats, and your brother should not feel responsible for his actions. Obviously Ashley isn't interested in Allen or she would be with him right? So tell your brother and Ashley to continue to date and enjoy one another. Allen will get over it!
2006-06-26 13:23:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a counselor, I think you should notify someone (like a parent). It's not tattling, but potentially saving someone. If this guy is serious about hurting himself, then an intervention is necessary.
I once agreed to go on a date with a friend of mine and when I refused to seriously date him, he cut his wrists. Luckily, he didn't seriously injure himself and he was just trying to make a point. One that obviously didn't win my heart.
But now that I'm a counselor, I can say that this guy may have a serious problem and needs help. Please notify someone immediately. If he is serious, then you will feel better knowing that you did something to help. If he's not serious, then no harm done, but this will hopefully end this behavior.
2006-06-26 13:11:06 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is plaing a mind game to guilt her into taking him back. If she were smart about it, she would just completely cut him out of her life. If you really want to get him to stop, next time he calls her with that line, have her call the police and report him as suicidal. The police will take him to the hospital for evaluation, and if he is suicidal, he will receive treatment. If he isn't, I bet he never calls her again.
This happened with one of my friends when he and his now ex broke up, during a phone argument after the breakup, he made the comment that he had done slit his wrists, the rest follows what I suggested above. And no, he did not actually slit his wrists.
2006-06-26 13:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by Rob K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a complete asshole when it comes to suicidals, and I'll tell you why. Tell "Ashley" to tell "Allen" to go ahead and do it. He won't do it, and I know this. He only said he would to guilt trip "Ashley" into taking him back. And he does do it, don;t feel bad, cause he's a loser if he kills himself over a girl. Question to you, he's an EMO kid right?
2006-06-26 13:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by poetic_justice_unserved 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely tell an adult. Not all people who threaten to do this are saying it for attention, though most are. Remember, the only one responsible for his behavior is HIM. Do not let him guilt anyone into anything. If he chooses to do something, it is not because of the lost relationship, it is a much deeper problem.
2006-06-26 13:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by yvette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to tell an adult either his parents the police your parent s anyone a trusted teacher sombodyThis is too serious for kids to handle
2006-06-26 13:10:02 · answer #8 · answered by Kasie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is a serious problem cause if you ignore him than he might really kill himself and that is a problem but if you dont than he will proberly save his life so let ashly date him and than your brother and his friend can talk about the situation.
2006-06-26 13:16:50 · answer #9 · answered by <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When anyone threatens suicide it is a big deal. I don't know how old you guys are but contact someone who knows how to handle this kind of situation (psychologist, social worker, school counselor, etc.). Don't panic but be responsible.
2006-06-26 13:09:35 · answer #10 · answered by amymame 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some help for both, tell teachers, parents or any other adult that you think could help them. This is not an easy problem so that you can solve it. Luck
2006-06-26 13:09:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋