My husband and son are going vacation to see my husbands family, but i dont want to go.. i feel like i need my own down time, plus i am remodeling our house and i need that time to do it as well.. but if i dont know, everyone will be pissed off at me that i dont want to.. what should i do ?
2006-06-26 12:21:15 · 17 answers · asked by KiMbErLy P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
part 2 of this questions is... i just seen his family less than 3 weeks ago and we see them every 3-4 months.. and not to mention, they live in a really small town with nothing to do... they will not understand why i want to stay home.. i just really need my down time on my own.. away from everyone...but i dont want to piss people off either..
2006-06-26 12:35:15 · update #1
Why don't you excuse your self, and use remodeling as your escape route. Your husband will appreciate it if you aren't at your wits end, whether he knows it or not.
2006-06-26 12:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by Risika Desaunt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I appreciate that you need down time, family vacations are a life-time of memories. For the first time in 20 years, we did not take a family vacation last year (health reasons) and my youngest son already announced to us that we'd better be taking one THIS year.
Family vacations are so important. Your son as well as your husband needs to see you relaxed, laughing, and having fun. So often because of our busy lives, our families only see us as adults who are too busy to have fun, laugh, and smile. We only half listen to their stories because we are preoccupied with our "to do" lists. Irritable, rushing from one event to the next.
You NEED this vacation not only for you but also for your family. When your son especially looks back on what he did this summer (you know come fall that some teacher is going to make him write "what I did on my summer vacation", don't you want to be included in his story?
Talk to your family and perhaps you can come back a few days earlier than planned and get a day or two of solitude for yourself.
Once a year (I'd prefer every six months but finances won't let me), I go away. No husband, no children, no friends, no relatives. I get a room with a jacuzzi take a portable music player, a journal and a good book and just relax. It is amazing how renewed you can feel doing that.
Go and enjoy!
2006-06-26 12:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by pamspraises 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you consider yourself part of the 'family', go with the rest of your 'family' on the 'family' vacation. Allow yourself the down time you need, but not during the 'family' time. Also, remodeling is a 'family' activity, too. Your 'family' can pitch in and help you. Life is not about 'rights' when you are part of a 'family'. It is about love. Good luck !
2006-06-26 12:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by SpongebobRoundpants 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your husband. And if being with your husband's family is a "chore" for you, you might want to consider addressing the issue of how you feel about your in-laws as well.
Sure you can have your own time. But it shouldn't be when your husband would like his wife to be with him.
My mother-in-law passed away 2 years ago after I'd been married to her daughter for 36 years. The first 15 - 20 years of our marriage the relationship with my wife's mom was very bad. Finally I realized it would be up to me to accept her (my wife loved her mom very much).
In the end, her mom even lived with us briefly. The night before she died, I sat up all night with her in the hospital holding her hand, talking softly and thanking her for being part of my life.
It's never too late to reconcile and find the good in another person!
2006-06-26 12:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by idlebud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay at home!!! some times a women has to do what a women has to do!!! your husband will get over it. if you go and don't really want to be there you are just going to make the people around you unhappy so really it is better for everyone if you stay at home rent some movies, order take out, buy ice cream and chocolate and vegg out at home for a few days. when your hubby get back and you are all relaxed and more renovations are done he will be thanking you for not going with them. (OK maybe not thanking you)
Have fun at home!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-26 12:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by sweetgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was in the exact same situation.....I really wanted to stay at home and do some painting and deep cleaning (kinda hard to do with a 2 yr old around)....plus my hubby has allergies and can't be around paint fumes.....so what better time to do what I needed to get done while they are gone? I ended up going with them to keep the peace....but I needed time to myself and wanted to stay home.....talk it over with your husband....and if he doesn't have a problem with it, stay! Otherwise, go and TRY to enjoy yourself like I did! Ugh!
2006-06-26 12:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by caramelqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go. We do need down time sometimes and with the excuse of remodeling, I would definitely use it to stay behind and regroup.
2006-07-03 15:27:56 · answer #7 · answered by GOUTVOLS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a hard one, but if your life has been that buisy then they should understand, but then again if you can get that stuff done later after you get back then you should just go, its not worth all the problems your going to have if you dont, becides there will be other days that you will be able to have to your self later, you just have to plan it. but being with your family should always be number one on your list!
2006-06-26 12:32:40 · answer #8 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my family went to new york to visit my dads sister and her family, my mom didnt want to go but she decided to and had a great time. i think thats what you should do. there your family and you dont see them as often. so take a break and relax and go with them.
2006-06-26 12:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go u'll have more time 2 remodel ur house sum other time
2006-06-26 12:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋