10pts for funniest
2006-06-26 12:13:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hehe i just posted this one...
Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100."
After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.
Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.
Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' Reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."
"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."
2006-06-26 12:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A man and his wife go to ther honeymoon hotel for ther 25th anniversary . As the couple reflected on that magicial evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,"When u first saw my body in front of u , what was going thur your mind?"
The husband replied,"All i wanted to do was **** your brains out , and suck your **** dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, She asked , " What are u thinking now ? "
He replied , " It looks as if did a pretty good job."
Next joke: There are four kinds of sex:
House sex - When you are newly married and hav sex all over he house in everyroom.
Bedroom sex- After you have been married for a while , and you only have sex in the bedroom.
Hall sex- After you have been married for many,many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "*******"
Courtroom sex - When your wife and her lawyer **** u in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny u ' ve got .
Next joke: A cat, a dog, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. And the dog sais my life sucks , my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent......I don't wanna finish it so go to www.lotsofjokes.com then click on dirty jokes and go read them all ther really funny u will have a blast think of me when your picking your best anwser cuz i gave u the most i gave u a website so have fun......lol
2006-06-26 19:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by ms_musiclover07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wanna hear a dirty joke; Jake fell in the mud
Wanna hear a clean joke; Jake took a bath with Bubbles
wanna hear a dirty joke; Bubbles was the girl next door
2006-06-26 19:19:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two bums walking down the railroad tracks one of them says "I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I found a twenty dollar bill and it was enough for me to stay drunk for three days. The other bum says "No, I'm the luckiest guy. I came across a naked girl on the railroad tracks and I had sex with ther for two weeks!" The first bum says " Wow! You really are the luckiest. Did she give you oral?" and the other one says "No, I never did find her head."
2006-06-26 19:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by spackler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a mailman was delivering mail regularly to a priest house.So when he came to drop off the mail the priest would always make the cross sign so the mailman would do it back to him.One day the mailman asked what does the up down side side mean.He said drop the mail and get the **** outta here!
2006-06-26 19:32:14 · answer #5 · answered by precious21babey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The following is a report given to a man who hired a chinese private investigator to follow his wife whom he thought might be having and affair.
1. You leave house
2. Man come to your house
3. Man and lady leave your house.
4. Man and lady get on train
5. I get on train
6. Man and lady get off train
7. I get off train
8. Man and lady go to motel
9. I climb tree outside motel
10. Lady undress he
11. Man undress she
12. Man play with she
13. lady play with he
14. I play with me
15. I fall out of tree
16. I no see
17. I so sorry! .......
cheers! :o cheehuahua hgday
2006-06-26 19:22:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does a dentist say before sex: OPEN WIDE.
What does a dentist say during sex: Put This In Your Mouth
What does a dentist say after sex: Be Sure To Rinse
2006-06-26 19:16:59 · answer #7 · answered by stillafeminist87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a white horse feel in the mud puddle he got up and said man I'm dirty
2006-06-26 19:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a slut walks into the dry cleaners and says "i need this by tomorrow" but the dry cleaner guy doesn't hear what she said so he asks "come again?" she looks down at her shirt and smiles and replies "oh no... this is just a mustard stain"
2006-06-26 21:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont women wear skirts during the winter ....
chapped lips
2006-06-26 19:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by will t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋