how do i accept myself for who i am and not just see my faults?

Question

many people ive met have toldme to love myself and complimented me on many occassions. they tell me to stop putting myself down and start believing in me. but i dont know how.

Answer 1

Help someone else who needs it........this will take your mind of yourself........and ultimately you will just be yourself.......and it will also be apparrent to others as well as to you..........IT WORKS...GIVE IT A SHOT

Answer 2

Some people find it very hard to see the good things about themselves - so you are not alone in this as it is quite common. I am a bit unsure of what you are putting your self down for - is it a work thing? Do you feel that you are not a success? Whatever it is I am certain that have loads of great attributes. here's something for you to try - Take a sheet of blank A4 paper and draw a line down the middle; on the left hand side write down the reasons why you put yourself down. Now on the right hand side write down all of your achievements and things that you are good at - even the little things. (You will be suprised how many things you have achieved and/or are good at.)

Feeling good about yourself is a confidence thing - so we need to build up your self esteem first to get you on the right track. Try this little exercise in the morning when you get up. Stand in front of the mirror and tell your self that you are looking good, feeling good, and doing good. (say it like you mean it!) Next, set your self a simple goal, ie one that is achievable and realistic, but one that will benefit you in some way. Lets say today you are going to take a little exercise before you go to work. Set a time when you will leave and when you will be back and stick to it. Even if it just round the block - do it and stick to your schedule. By setting your self achievable goals, you will feel good about yourself and end up saying 'Hey! I am in control, and I can do things where and when I want, and do them well!'

Small steps at a time and you will see results. Good luck!

Answer 3

You can never change who you are, you should try getting to know yourself better. If you think negative then everything will be negative, but if you think positive then things will become more positive. Think about what makes you happy, think about the good things about yourself. You have a good set of friends, so that says alot that you must be a likeable person, people want to be with you, find you fun to be with. Sometimes when you put yourself down soo much you just get in a viscious circle of believing it and it can be hard to over come it and think any different. You have to be positive, look on the bright side, I have given my email in a previous answer, use if if you ever want to chat.

Answer 4

I had low self esteem and when I saw a mental health nurse she discovered it was because I lacked the ability to be assertive. it sounds odd, but I was either too harsh (over compensating for my shyness and ended up being rude) or I was a push over (because i was trying so hard to be nice). In the end I did an assertiveness course and learned that assertion is not learning how to be pushy or learning how to be a yes person, but learning how to live your life for yourself. please don't feel like you're the only one in this situation. I am better now and have loads of friends, a good job and a baby!

look at this web site www.mind.co.uk they are a fantastic charity

there is a self help manual called 'it's ok to be me'. have a look at that it's sort of the ten comandments of self esteem. do all the usual things like take exercise, try a hobby or see a GP if you're really low.

Good luck!

Answer 5

"Faults" are what make people who they are, they are the things that you adore in a lover, the things that separate you from other people.

You can either "improve" your faults, no one can tell you how to do this, EVER you have to find out this for yourself. And this takes strength and conviction.

OR you can accept your faults as parts of you. Faults aren't a bad thing EVERY one has them, so why focus on yours?

Some one once said to me "Don't put yourself down, there are plenty of other people to do it for you."
Being so down on yourself can make you a victim, i was bullied until i grew some balls and said "**** it."

And you have to love yourself, even on the dark days, because if you don't' no one else will, and hey you are the only one of you, you have to preserve your greatness, show it off. Get an ego, there really is no one better than you.

I say this as a person who has been to the pit of hell, i clawed my way out and now I'm better for it, it all made me stronger.

If you ever need any one to one chat about any of the **** that confines you PM me, i always have on open ear and words of advice.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Are u depressed? Do somethings that perk you up. Exercise, spas, new hairdo, make sum1 laugh.
Its the little things in life that make a difference.
Also this works for me - Remember there is always someone in a much worse situation. So wot if i have cellulite? I still have the use of my legs. That type of mentality.
Look at the positive aspects in your life.
I'll be truthful with u. Friends of mine who constantly moan about thier body/man/job end up pissin me off.... And there's so much more to life than the things they drone on about....
Let ur hair down, Have some fun. Heal yourself.
Peace n Infinite Luv x

Answer 7

It's just a matter of looking at the positive things. Concentrate on things about yourself that you like. People FIND what they're LOOKING for, and don't find what they're not looking for.

So be nice to yourself. Take yourself out for a treat. Do things you like. When you start doing nice things for yourself, you'll come to realize that you deserve them. Think of it as a kind of courtship.

If you are a Christian, remind yourself that you are forgiven.

One thing that helped me was to take a few hours a week to do some volunteer work. Doing something for someone else who needs it, without asking for anything back, is something you can be proud of. You can't help feeling better about yourself, bit by bit. And you can start thinking about yourself in a different way.

Answer 8

`No-one can make you feel inferior, without your consent`
quote from Eleanore Roosevelt.
Stop putting yourself down, get out there and do something for somebody. You`ll be amazed how good that makes you feel.
Go on ! do it now. We`ve all got so many faults they are not worth thinking about. Just part of being human, but the good parts always outweigh the bad. BUT ONLY IF YOU LET THEM!
Best wishes to you.

Answer 9

I am quite serious - You have negative voices continually nagging at you. We refer to them as voices although they are strong memories that have become implanted within our subconscious. The subconscious controls our conscious. Any thought / memory stemming from your subconscious will always take power over your conscious memory. So when people tell you in all honesty that you look good etc. you remember that as a conscious thought and then the subconscious memory from some previous negative life experience(s) shouts down the positive voice and floods your belief system with its horribleness.
Does that make sense? This is not an irreversible situation though. You have to keep strong and learn how to shout over the negative voices. I know - I do it all day long buit it has started to work for me - though IT DOES TAKE YOUR OWN STRENGTH TO MAKE IT WORK. Listen to the lovely voices to. x x x

Answer 10

I don't subscribe to the 'love myself' before loving others theory, and nor should you be pushed into thinking in this modern way. Just look at the mess the world is in and see where it has got us so far.

Love your family and your friends and all the living things around you, before yourself, and you will forget all these hangups because they will no longer matter to you.

We get back what we give out, and being tied into ourselves is self defeating. By loving others first, you'll be so busy and so popular, the fears about yourself will melt away inside the laughter and the happiness you'll exude.

It will lighten up the hearts of all around you and the happiness and sense of peace you get, will make you stronger with every passing day, so nothing negative will scar your soul.

You are more worthwhile than you can ever imagine, and you are needed in this world to share the love inside you.

Think lovely thoughts, say lovely things and encourage others to bring out the best in themselves first, that's how we find the best inside ourselves.

Don't seek for people to love you, because we earn love by affording it to others first, learn to love them first and you will find unexpected rewards in ways you never could imagine possible.

I am not speaking of physical love and relationships here, but about the inner you, the you that really matters, where you need to redirect your heart, and values, to enable yourself to grow stronger in your heart and mind and soul.

No one is born perfect, we all have many defects. To try to be what you think others expect and want of you, is to try to change the person you were born to be.

Don't conform to pressure, media hype, fashionable trends, or psychological crap dished out by so called experts, who are the most insecure bunch of people on this earth.

God Bless you.

Answer 11

Just wake up in the morning every day and look in the mirror and repeat to yourself 20 times each morining that: I'm beautiful, I'm special and God spent extra time to make some one like me!" as you look in the mirror. And try your best to picture yourself that way .And you will then realise the problem is all in your mind. Just try this and you will reprogramme tyour mind to belive the opposite of what it normally thinks. that your are un worthy of love when you are. And one more thing, if ou believe in God ask him for help to. Belive me that works too.