My girlfriend wants to keep the baby... What should I do?

Question

We still love each other and I have no clue where to go. She wants to keep the baby. We are 15. She will have the baby by the time we are 16. Now... I have 3 options
1) Leave and pay Family Support
2) Marry and keep the baby
3) #2 except go through College aswell, in a tag team class (I go for the first 4 years, and she go the next 4).

We are in 11th grade next year. The paternity test was posative.
(I have been given the "Welcome to Life, Son" talk...)
What should I do?

Answer 1

Step up to the plate, and be emotionally and financially supportive!

You can't just go 'round scattering and praying for a 100% crop failure! Seeds SPROUT!

Answer 2

The only answer is to take responsbility for your actions. If you're old enough to "do the deed" then you've got to be man enough to take responsibility.

That said, both of you are very young. Getting married at this young age isn't necessarily a wise thing. However, whether you marry or not, you need to be an supportive father, emotionally and financially.

Are your families supportive? Will they help both of you financially so you can stay in school? If not, it's going to be very very hard. I know your girl friend wants to keep the baby. But does she understand what that really entails? I urge both of you to seek counselling to that you both can make an educated decision. There are millions of couples out there wanting to adopt.

Good luck!

****

Edited to add: I just found this post of yours from 4 weeks ago (a link to that post is below), and I guess you guys did decide to have sex!!! It's been only 4 weeks and she's already pregnant... WOW!

Hytegia wrote:

Don't take me wrong, I have had sex ed and "the talk" but my Girlfriend is dropping hints that she is ready to have sex. The problem is that I don't think that I am...
I am scared that, even though she loves me, that she will screw around with other guys if I don't.
My question is "What do I do?"

P.S. None of the "Go ask your parents" crap. It's a waste of pixels and bandwidth.
-Hytegia

Additional Details

4 weeks ago
Angus,
I am not a sexest and I am not going to do that.

Everyone else,
THANKS. I talked to her and she just thought that all guys wabted sex in a relationship (Damn steryotypes)... Anyway, she is still a virgin so I am happy.
XD
-Hytegia

Answer 3

be a man and give this child the father it deserves. i dont suggest marriage. not now. maybe when you guys are older and are sure it would work. get some sort of job to help support and definatly finish school. i am a single mother of four children and a full time college student, this is the hardest thing in the world but it is possible and there are programs to help you. not that i hav a lot of room to speak but do your best to not produce ne more children til you are in a better position. it will be easier to get thru skool with one child. if the two of you were able to get the grants needed you could even go thru college at the same time. there is no reason why one couldnt take classes during the day and the other at nite, that way one of you would be home with the child at all times.

good luck with whatever you choose. i'll pray for the three of you.

Answer 4

I personally don't think you should have to get married just because you and your girlfriend will be having a baby. So many times, people in your situation make the decision to marry after they find out they are about to have a baby. Both of you have a lot on your mind right now and I don't think it would be a good idea to make another life changing decision right now. You can always marry later if you decide it is right for you. Please remember though that you need to be in your child's life emotionally, physically and financially. It is still possible for you both to go to college. It will be more difficult, but if you two are willing to help each other out, it can be done.

Answer 5

I think you have more options that what you realize
If your absolutely not ready then you have the right to sign over custody to the mother . You'll have to pay child support or go to jail is the harsh reality. If you choose to get married , There is No Reason Why You can't live seperately. But prepare for Drama round every corner ! You should really be honest with her and her parents , and yours , make a meeting . Tell everyone how your feeling and ask for creative ideas, on how to manage your situation. If you really love her you need to tell her that , and her parents too. Admit your mistake, but ask for help. Your going to need it ! Enlist your family to help you find some solutions to working while going to school . You won't be able to afford much, but I think you can make it work. If you are honest with everyone they'll eventually get over the shock, and love the grandchild anyway! But you'll have to multitask like crazy ! You need to make sure your girlfried goes to some parenting classes , you can go as well it's hard to be a young mom, or Dad . PLus you can get lots of information on job seeking and balancing everything. Be prepared for rude remarks ! brush it off people suck... just say " I'm doing the best I can. " and with that Keep doing the best you can. If you can't make it work then have a family meeting and tell everybody " I need ideas on how to make this work ! " Remember you aren't a victim, neither is she. You're a person making big decisions now. Keep your cool. If you have to go get a job, Look for something 40 hours a week, otherwise you won't have enough money for anything . Be prepared for planned visitation if you won't be living together. INSIST ON THE PLAN whether you're speaking with an adult or the the girlfriend. Let them know that this helps you find work hours, and keep contact better with baby. Then you'll feel more prepared for when mom arrives with baby in her arms. Set some goals for yourself, like the job, graduation, see if you can get ahead this summer and graduate early. Write it ALL DOWN . This isn't the end of the world, you aren't doomed . Most babies aren't planned regardless of what people tell you . BUt enjoy your baby whether you and your girl are together or not . Just smile and nod when people make you feel uncomfortable ; You'll be amazed how fun your baby can be. Remind your parents how you feel. Ask them for advice if you can. It's ok to talk about feeling pressure. People will more than likely join your force. You might try staying single for awhile if it all results in a breakup, avoid chicks for a bit . If you're going to remain a couple, you might need to ask for help making arrangements from your parents. Cars, gas, shopping, etc....

Answer 6

First you should've thought of this before. But you shouldn't get married you guys sound way to young and unsure of what you want. I would be there for your child and girlfriend but don't rush into a marriage that you will both regret. I know this isn't what you wanted but it's what happened and you need to be there for your child. The bottom line is you need to figure out how you can support him or her. Go to school get a degree. Always remember that it isn't the child's fault, all they will want is love from momm and dad. Could you imagine life without your parents? Don't make that child know what that feels like. You will be fine honey just don't run from this cuz everybody yourself included will suffer. You will never forgive yourself 20 years down the road if you leave that baby. remember also that if you and mom don't work that baby is still yours and you need to be there with or without her. Good luck honey I hope you make the right choice

Answer 7

Wow, that's a rough row to hoe. I can't really say what you should do, because well, I'm not you, and I don't think in that situation you can tell someone what to do.

I can tell you what I would do... and its what I did when I was 20 and found out similar news. I enlisted in the military. I am currently 32, I have 2 children that I love dearly and have been in the Navy for almost 11 years and love it. I have job security, nearly a bachelor's degree and can support my children.

All I can say is there is nothing, n-o-t-h-i-n-g on this earth like holding your newborn child. My daughter was born 5 weeks premature too.

This is something you have to decide on your own.

Answer 8

If she decides to keep the baby, YOU HAVE to be responsible for you actions...and thats not just giving her some money here and there when you have a few extra bucks...its actually being involved in this persons life...(the new baby)...You need to grow up NOW and be a father...I hope that this mother realizes what she is getting herself into, has she concidering adoption? There are a lot of familys out there that can not have children and their only dream is to have a child. Either way, you need to take responsibility and now.

Answer 9

My answer for both of you are first of all: Repent of your sins. Ask God to forgive you for having sex before marriage. 2nd is since you have committed the sin.even though both of you are just babies. There is no reason for marriage because you have not lived long enough to experience real love. You have to first become, friends, then sisters and brothers in the Lord and then get to no each other like that then if you are in love (marriage) Now I suggest (If the parents are going to support your mistakes you both need your education. You need some college now a days to sweep the streets. Pray, talk to your parents and see where you can go from there.
God Bless
Leanell

Answer 10

well depending on how far along she is you should consider your options. . . . . . . you are way too young to get married if you both want to keep it fine but dont get married until you are well into your 20's or you two will end divorced with a baby to raise the options you posted aren't your only options though she needs to think about not keeping the baby adoption is a wonderful gift for families who can not conceive she can always have kids later and one now could her life and probably the baby's too



think about it would the two of really be ably to deal with a baby right now or a teenager when your not even 30?

Answer 11

I say #3 too here. You both did the erotic dance and now you have to suffer the consequences and be a man. You can't just leave her and just pay off your responsibility. I understand that both of you are young, but if you truely love her, and she does love you, then be there for her fully.

Have the kid, get some baby sitting done while you're in high school and go to college... you go for yours 1st, and she can even take hers part-time. You can both do it if your smart and work together on this.