How do you live with an ADHD child??

Question

My son has ADHD and aspergers. He swears a lot, calls me names, breaks thing and he even hits his younger sisters. He's 12 years old now. Sometimes I jus wanna pull my hair out and cry. Does anyone have anything thats worked for them, please.....??!!

We have seen doctors and he is already on Ritalin.

Answer 1

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Answer 2

A friend of my daughter's has apsbergers and ADHD, and my son has ADHD. So I can totally sympathise with you! And for all those know-it-alls, I tried removing everything chemical from my son. Apart from the fact that it made no difference whatsoever to his behaviour, it made him resent all the adults because he could not have such things as chocolate, coke and orange squash, like other children. As well as our food bill going up dramatically because everything we bought was organic! This was before he was diagnosed and we tried it for about a year (before people say I did not do it for long enough). I get the idea from some of the answers that they do not understand what Aspergers and ADHD are. I think the best way of trying to explain it is to say it is like looking after an out-of-control drunk, but there is no alcohol involved - or a child going through the terrible twos and the teenage years, both at the same time! You cannot reason with them. Punishment does not work. They are totally fearless. They see nothing whatsoever wrong with their behaviour. There is something wrong with the brain - it's just you cannot tell from looking at them. And that hard look they get in their eyes - it's frightening! I am wondering if some of the people who have responded would tell me to see without my glasses! And I bet most of them take aspirins when they have a headache, or antibiotics when they have a chest infection; why is taking Ritalin so different? Often, those who say that Ritalin was wrong for them were misdiagnosed, so did not need the drug. However, my son realises that Ritalin helps him act responsibly in the world. He now has friends and can study at school. His writing is legible when he takes the tablets! He says it is like stopping an engine racing within his brain. Oh, and he is not zombie-like, he is now a normal 13-year-old, not a freak who was always in trouble at school.

Now I have vented my spleen, back to your question!
Have you contacted Social Services? They may be able to help you with extra support. Also, how much support are you getting from his school? Have a word with the SENCO and ask them for help, too.

You do not say if you are with his father, nor how you get on with all his grandparents. Please talk to them. I am sure they know how down you are getting. Perhaps they could take him off your hands for a weekend? Or perhaps have the other children so you can spend some time just with him.

Have found the below website, which should be able to help you.

I am afraid that I can only advise about ADHD, as I know very little about Aspergers, except the effects it can have (such as the playing on their own, the repetitive behaviour and the colouring in (you know, using one colour in a picture (normally a scribble bit) and then saying the picture is finished!

I hope some of my suggestions work for you. I wish you all the luck in the world - you have a job much harder than most other parents realise (and I would not change places with you for all the tea in China!). Oh, and I always tell my son that I love him all the time, but I do not like him when he acts like that.

My one tip: ask for help!

Answer 3

It's definetly hard at times but you know there are doctors out there. My daughter was diagonosed Bi-Polar II when she was 13.She was hospitalized repeatedly 13 -14 times over 5 yr period. She was a cutter and was put into rehab for 6 months to learn to deal with this. She had been on various meds throughout this time period and through lots of therapy. Finally when she was 17 the doctor took her off all her meds cause she got so sick and she decided not to take any any more. Since she had so much therapy she knows what she has to do when her Bi-Polar kicks in and knows how to get through it now. She's now 20 yrs old and is in college making straight A's. This is something she'll have to deal with all her life as will your son. Do something about it now before it's too late.

Answer 4

12 is a bit late to do anything behavioral, and I'm sure he's a bit large for physical intervention! Is your son on medication? If he is, it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor about his symptoms and see if a meds adjustment or alternative meds would be appropriate. Sometimes, what appears to be rage in an ADHD child is actually an expression of fear or depression. Trust me--and I know it can seem far-fetched, especially when you're at the end of your rope--your son is also suffering. I hope you can find some help to relieve the suffering your entire family is enduring now.

Answer 5

At the age of 12, you may find it difficult to follow this advice.

Monitor very closely your son's eating. Be particularly aware of what he ate the night before. You have probably tried this but there are so many additives, chemicals, artificial preservatives in foods, that it is very hard to control. I am quite a patient placid person. I need very little sleep. Certain foods can make me irritatable. Say something I don't like, and my pure cold anger comes out. I cannot believe I am capable of being like this. With a natural temper, I would probably react far stronger. Some foods make me unable to concentrate. Other foods can make me drowsy, even if I am sat up typing!!! This is not sleepy. In the 1970's hyperactive children began to emerge. This was put down to "things" in foods. Such "things" in foods have increased tremendously and never been stopped by the government. Unfortunately, there are spefic types of additives, etc. that can build up in the body. Even when a person gives a specific food up, with some "things", it can take SIX MONTHS to free the body of the residues. One thing that is not broadcast to the public, is that food intolerances are separate from food allergies. Food intolerances come under the general heading of Multiple Chemical Syndrome. as does Gulf Syndrome. You can find this on the internet, but you may have to search. I am fortunate, I was taught, early days, by a traditional G.P. , how to analyse, how to cope, and when to seek further advice. As a nurse I had also been taught to analyse patient's behaviour and symptoms. One thing surprising, is that 5 P's I have asked recently, donot know what Multiple Chemical Syndrome is!! My reactions now can be pretty bad physically, they have grown worse over time. For example, if I can eat bread in Italy and Holland, but not England.... - it is not wheat or gluton I am reacting to. Another example, in England, I can't eat meat, turkey, duckling, or turkey. I only eat fish now. All this reaction and discovery has spanned years. My diet is very rigid.

I feel maybe your son is unhappy that he does react this way, but he is not really at fault. ..... but how to cure it? Very difficult. If your son wants to stop behaving so badly, & if this theory was explained to him, perhaps he would try to discover himself to see if it does help him.. One thing I read once, is that if the body reacts badly to something, it can also create a craving for the food. I did know a 5 year old like this once. It was frightening the way he would react. Luckily, his mother & I spotted what it was.This took a few few months. Does your son ever suddenly cry after a bad "attack" or if asked "what is wrong with him?". This, I discovered, can be an indication to something eaten or drunk which has been the cause.

Hope this helps somehow. It is a vast subject.

Answer 6

is he now on medicine? i turned right into a foster determine for 2 years for a baby with intense ADHD and an finished host of alternative complications. if he's not on medicine i'd easily look into it. little ones with adhd have a difficulty with self administration and in case you imagine of their mind like a motor vehicle transmission it really is like they're stuck in a unmarried equipment for all time. the right medicine will extremely help him plenty. meds get the type of undesirable rap, yet with the study finished now there is a few good treatment obtainable. youngsters are not any more being falsely clinically determined and over medicated almost as a lot as years handed. my foster son become on a low dosage of medicine that extremely helped him be able to end and picture about his moves. also the first med tried would no longer be a good in good structure so that you only ought to artwork with a baby psychologist to get the right meds and dosage. i understand how you sense, there the position days with my foster baby that i only besides the undeniable fact that how am i going to get through this. in the best he had different themes no longer relating to the adhd that brought about him to get extremely violent and so we had to have him moved.

Answer 7

My neighbor's boy is 7 with ADHD. He is an animal possessed by the devil. He is evil, mean, selfish, wild, starts fires on the front porch, he hits his mother and no one wants to be around him. He takes all the latest medication for the problem, but nothing helps. I am certain he will eventually have to be placed in a home for juvenile delinquents. That's the only answer I have. Ship them all to an ADHD farm and treat them like the animals they have become.

I heard on the radio that childhood vaccinations are the cause of ADHD. Morman children don't get shots and there are no known cases among them.

Answer 8

A daily dose of fish oil is better at treating hyperactivity than Ritalin - the 'chemical cosh' linked to the deaths of children, stunning research has revealed.

Just six capsules a day of the naturally-occurring oil can vastly improve children's behaviour without any of the side-effects of Ritalin and related drugs.

The controversial drugs can cause heart problems, dizziness and insomnia and have been blamed for the deaths of nine children in the UK and dozens more in the US.

Answer 9

I have a 9 yr old son and a 5 yr old son that both have ADHD! Alls I can say is to get them in counseling, med management and a structured lifestyle. Consistency is the key. Dont give in. Dont jump on the negative behavior because that is what they feed off of. I praise when they need it and I disclipline when it is needed. I explain that both mom and dad love them, but that their behavior is unacceptable. It is difficult sometimes because I also have a 11 yr old son and a 7 yr old daughter who has to witness to this behavior and is also involved with the anger issues. Both my sons are on Adderall XR. They are both smart children. Church is another good thing to get involved in. Just try more positive things. Hopefully it will rub off on him. Spend time with just him alone. Maybe he is trying to get your attention. I hope this works. Keep your head up.

Answer 10

There's a natural product called KidsComplete. Made from blue-green algae. Works wonders. Gets worse for the first 2 weeks then miracles. If not available under that name in your country ask your local health shop for something like that.

Dr.s are a last resort. they're Ritalin crazy. Turns your kid into a zombie.

Oh, and keep him away from sugars!!

Answer 11

do you have him on medication? My grandson has the same thing. Medication has helped BIG TIME. It hasn't done everything though. He has to have structure and you have to be as calm with him as possible whenever he has a meltdown. Don't even try to reason with him in the middle of a fit cause you won't get anywhere. The doctor told us that we have to be consistent with punishment. We send our boy to his bed to calm down and then we talk to him. I understand the urge to pull your hair and cry cause we live with the same thing. Social skills programs are also something he needs. we haven't been able to get that yet but that's what the doc prescribed. I know that this isn't much but good luck and god bless you cause I know well the heartache this can cause.