I have never dated a single mother, however I have now met a wonderful single mother that I would like to ask out. What are somethings that I need to keep in mind? What is the best way to go about starting a dating relationship with her?
2006-06-26 10:45:33 · 17 answers · asked by joker2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Keep in mind that her children are her priority and she may not have as much time as a single woman with no children. Talk to her and ask her if she's interested in dating.
2006-06-26 10:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay- Here are some considerations for dating single moms.
This should help both of you.
First- Remember right away - You are number TWO. The kids come first. If you two are cuddling, and the kid(s) cry, she will go to take care of the kid(s).
So, you're actually shooting for number two. That's your goal.
If you become a priority over the kids, that's not good. You'd rather be number two than number one because it means she's a good Mom. If she never has the kids because they're always being watched by someone else, that's not a good sign either.
Always be considerate and respectful of the kid's Dad. Regardless of the reasons they're not together, no matter how much or how little he's around, or whatever...realize that this relationship you've got with the Mom may or may not work out...but he will always be the father of those kids and he will always have to be dealt with. If you start with considerate respect, the future could be tolerable. He'll probably want to hate you, so give him no reason to.
And, finally, the kids themselves. You should be looking forward to meeting them, but let Mom decide when it's time. She should have some confidence in your relationship before you ever meet the kids. If you meet them the first night, something is wrong.
The kids will surely like you, and you'll enjoy them as well. Try to build a strong foundational relationship with each kid, and it'll be different than with the other kid(s). Be strong, and be a role model from day one. They'll be needing a good, strong, honest male role model with their Mom.
Finally- this was the hardest part for me...don't stay together for the kid(s). I went out with a messed up single mom and I fell totally in love with the kids. I still miss them. But, I couldn't be the one for their Mom, so I had to go. I just never thought I'd catch myself trying to find a way to make it work because I liked the kid(s).
I hope this helps. It's a tricky thing, but if you try really hard, you can make it work. There's lots of great women who picked the wrong guys to be the father's of their children, but life gives them a second chance to find Mr. Right.
Good Luck!
2006-06-26 18:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As said above. Most important thing to recognize is that her kid(s) are first priority. That can mess up dating plans if the kids get sick or things come up. So some tolerance is defo required. Also, keep in the back of your head the fact that there's a father somewhere in the picture. Other than that, perhaps in the future suggest dates that include the kids. Good luck.
2006-06-26 17:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go slowly, and yes, always keep in mind that her child(ren) are the priority. However, do NOT play it up and act like you're fine with the kids if you really don't feel that way. Always be honest with her, and yourself. Another thing to keep in mind, the child(ren)'s father - is he around still. Some men can be mature about the mom dating, others can be very obnoxious. One step at a time, try talking to her and seeing what she feels at this point. Good luck! :)
2006-06-26 17:55:39 · answer #4 · answered by luvwhitelilacs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that they are a packaged deal and that her first obligation is to her children.Ask her out and in time begin to spend time with her children as well.Invite the three of them out.Sigle mothers have to take things a little more seriously than others because they have the responsibilities of two people.If your intentions are good and genuine you should have no problem.Be patient with her as she may be slower to leap than others,and may have trust issues.Take things slow.
2006-06-26 17:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you would treat it just like any other relationship.But u must remember that her child/children come first.Don't enter this lightly make sure you're ready for this type of relationship.Children do tend to get attached.They are the most important aspect in this woman's life.But she can still have fun.Just make sure your ready for this type of commitment
2006-06-26 17:51:27 · answer #6 · answered by NESHA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be dependable. If you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, be there. If you have to break an appointment, be up front. Build trust based on good personality characteristics. She can't afford to be burned by you, but if you burn her and her children, oh boy.
2006-06-26 17:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not spend time with her children until you are sure that the two of you will be together for a long time. their dad is already not there. it is hard to begin to get attached to people and then have them walk out of your life.
2006-06-26 17:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by texasgirl5454312 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never try to get in the way of her and her kids. They are always first on her list and you follow. You have to try to get in good with them.
2006-06-26 17:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
deffinily meet and get to know the kids, she loves her kids and they come first. once you get past there trust and they like you she will know that your good for her. if the kids are older don't tickle them they don't wanna bbothered just take them to something they like. don't be perverted, don't kiss the mother don't pinch her butt nothing like that- try not to fight with her, if they see you doing this it will not be good.
2006-06-26 17:51:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋