If you are in a situation in which you have taken care of everyone else instead of yourself, and now you are sick, but the people you have taken care of still expect you to take care of them, what do you do?
(the rest of the family will not get involved, so calling on them to help is not an option)
2006-06-26 10:24:55 · 16 answers · asked by herenthere 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm thinking you know to rely on God and to rely on your church family for support. Your question is actually about what to do with the family members who still expect you to take care of them in spite of the fact that you need help yourself, right?
That's a tough one.
Even though it may be counter-intuitive, and you may get some backlash, I think you have to set up some boundaries. You can only do what you can do. It's one thing to help someone who is legitimately in need. It's another to enable someone.
My best advice is to check out "Boundaries," by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. You can read some of it here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0310247454/qid=1151360625/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-0147864-1810467?s=books&v=glance&n=283155 Counseling is a really good idea as well.
Of course we have a responsibility to help others. Sometimes what is helpful is to let them know that we can't save them and fix everything for them. I was raised to rescue people. It was hard to overcome that. But I'm not God, and I can't do what God can do for people. Not even people I love. They need to rely on God, not me.
It's a tough situation to be in. May God bless you as you deal with your sickness and draw healthy boundaries with those you love.
If it is a case where others are truely needy and helpless, you may be able to go to your church family for that help as well.
2006-06-26 11:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by Contemplative Chanteuse IDK TIRH 7 · 7⤊ 3⤋
Sharon. You already know, the Bible says: In the end of times, Mother against daughter, dad's against son's........etc.
Families are going OUT, they have been swirling for some time now. A recent pole at some churches, indicated this.
How many people would rely on family or a church group for help? They said church group.
How many people would the church group, rely on they're famlies as support, or rely on the Goverment? Sadly..They chose the Goverment.
The only help today, most people can and will get, is going to come from YOUR church group. Even then, a lot of members rely on the Goverment, more than they're own Faith in God.
There is no such thing as "Family", anymore. Our own Gov, saw to this. Back in the 50's..60's..if a family had a problem, they would move there family into they're home until they got back on they're feet. Today....you apply for Government AID, and never see your family.
KEEP very very close to your church group. It is all your going to end up with.
Is this why Jesus said: "You keep your eyes on ME....man will let you down." God, works through Christian people, for other people, for a reason.
When a Christian, needs help, they turn to God, and turn to the "Church", and your help is there. When Christ is FIRST, in your life, then nothing else matters.
A Christian, only has 1 true family. all others are relatives.
If this family member is a Christian, This is all the better. If they are not, then maybe it's time they really on God, and get in-check with Christ.
Have a good week.
2006-06-26 17:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not take care of Self, then how can you continue to care for others???...this is a very good time to take account of the people you surround yourself with...true friends & true love toward you should be on the front lines about now.
2006-06-26 17:32:30 · answer #3 · answered by msE758 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been here. Not with physical illness, but emotional (not sure what kind you mean, but the principles are the same). A dear friend of mine passed away several years ago, we were both part of a larger group of friends, but I was closest to him, and I believe out of everyone he was probably closest to me, as well. Somehow I wound up being the "rock" of the group, or at least it certainly seemed so. They would come to me to vent, or ask advice, leaving me without anyone to do the same. I would suggest finding someone, preferably removed from the situation, at least somewhat, to be your rock. It's what I did. It wasn't enough, not nearly, but I don't think anything would have been, really. You're going to have to rely on your own strength as well. Sucks, I know, but such is our lot.
2006-06-26 17:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by The Resurrectionist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calling an a home health service for the love one who needs care or put them in a nursing home or rehab care. I would definitely start to take care of myself! Pray for the loves ones who didn't step in to help!
2006-06-26 17:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by Pashur 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are a mother and a wife... suck it up and take care of yourself and remember the next time they (except your children) are sick you just let them suffer...
Your children always come first...
2006-06-26 17:32:22 · answer #6 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hell with them and try to take care of yourself.
2006-06-26 17:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just accept the fact that they are so dependent to you... i know it a lil unfair but u have to know that in life,we dont always get back whatever we had given...just learn to take care of yourself or better yet,find someone who is willing to take care of you...a bf maybe.. but if there's none, just pray coz God will (whatever your religion is) will never leave u empty... God bless you! ill be prayin for you
2006-06-26 17:30:13 · answer #8 · answered by seanny c. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you are sick and now you need their help. If help is still not forth coming, I'd tell them to bugger off and not to expect any help ever from you, FOREVER!!!!
Hope you're feeling better.
Peace.
2006-06-26 17:30:37 · answer #9 · answered by angieasee64 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had to deal with it and help them but you have a chance help your self out ok cause i only got worse then i was put on my death bed thank god i made it out so take care of your self
2006-06-26 17:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by Charnele B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋