How do I give my gf an orgasm?

Question

I've been with my girlfriend for a year now but we're both pretty inexperienced and we've been taking things really slowly. Recently we moved on to what I suppose you would call "heavy petting"......touching each other down there.

When she touches me I always get a hard on and I always get an orgasm, but I can't seem to do the same for her. It's quite difficult to get my fingers inside her and it seems quite uncomfortable for her. What should I be doing to give her an orgasm?

Please, I really need some good honest advice, not anything stupid. I just want to be able to give her what she gives me, because she's not really enjoying it just now.

Answer 1

OK, first of all, most girls prefer clitoral stimulation to vaginal stimulation. So stop trying to put your fingers inside her for now until you get good at the clitoral stimulation.

You need to find the clitoris first, it's a pea sized mass of erectile tissue....if you follow the labia minora up towards the belly button, where they meet you'll find the clitoris.

Once you've found it, you need to rub it gently and slowly. Keep watching your girlfriend's face and listening to her to see if she's liking it (but I guarantee she will!). When she starts to get closer to orgasm (you'll notice a change in her breathing and she might actually tell you to go faster), start rubbing a bit harder and faster. This should bring her to orgasm in a few minutes.

You could try oral sex as well if you want to go that far just now - still focus mainly on the clitoris and just make flicking movements with your tongue, or try spelling out the alphabet with your tongue.

Answer 2

First, most women do not have an orgasm from penetration. Please, remember that. Penetration feels good, but only a minority of women can come to completion from it. Which means you need to get acquainted with her clitoris.

Before you see her, look at your nails and cuticles. Make sure they aren't rough and ragged. scratching that area is BAD!!!

When it's time to touch her, move the lubrication that should be building at the entrance to her vagina up to her clitoris. The more the better. If she doesn't get that wet, lick your fingers and use that. Then lightly, but firmly massage her clitoris. Pay attention to her face, and her breath to get cues about what she likes. Also, if she moves her hips like she's trying to get away from your fingers, you may want to try a different spot. Also, talk to her, ask her questions. You can be sexy with it and still learn what she likes. "Is that good baby? You like it right there? You want it faster beautiful?" etc...

Note: Every woman is different, and so I can't give you a map. I have found that most women can't handle the very tip of the clit to be touched, there are a lot of nerves and pleasure can very quickly turn to pain if you rub too hard, or without enough lubrication.

Answer 3

Ok, here's the deal...she's probably really nervous and so it makes penetration really difficult, even with fingers. Besides, it's unlikely that an inexperienced guy will be able to hit the "g" spot, and not every woman can reach orgasm by this method anyway.

What you need to do is locate her clitoris and GENTLY stroke it; you may need some extra lubrication (KY works well). It is so incredibly sensitive, if she relaxes enough she's almost guaranteed an orgasm.

Also, pick up a copy of Sex & Loving or Joy of Sex - both are great reference guides.

Answer 4

Some of the previous advices are OK (oral sex, gentle clitoral stimulation, lots of lube - LOL!) BUT there's something more, I'd say: does she masturbate herself to orgasm, or you are both "begginers" (unexperienced) in this area? because it takes some time for a girl to "train" herself to be able to have an orgasm... If she does, then she might "lead" you into making her feel the same. (hints, as someone already mentioned; these hints can be anything from straight/verbal/ to implied - movements, moans, etc.).
Be patient, don't rush, take all your time! and be gentle, too!
Create a conforting environment; stress is a huge turn-off for girls!
A good glass (or a glass of good) wine could also help (as a stress reliever). Some moody music...
Oh, I was going to forget: it seems to me that she is still a virgin and she wants to remain one! so, if I were you, I'd leave the fingering her vagina part altogether!

Answer 5

is good that ur takin it slow....and very gentlemanly of u, now if u really want her to enjoy it try making sure she is lubricated enough....make her wet...lots of foreplay is good, touch her in other places first...nipples gently...and kissing while bein touched down there is good...slow gentle fingers is best...is no good just putting ur fingers inside her with out massaging her clit softly,,,is where the most enjoyment is...and remember slow and gentle is best...and lots of patience is needed...some girl dont have orgasm very easy and some dont at all...i know during sex i hardly ever do but its no ones fault...it just means theres not enough foreplay...u will know when she is ready and taking it slow makes it all the better ... :)

Answer 6

The clitorus!

Rub (or if you are adventurous, lick) the clitorus. quickly, but not harshly

the key is to be gentle while at the same time not moving your fingers (or tounge) too slowly.

good luck!

Answer 7

you need to arouse her first, and it takes time to make them feel "hot". You should try kissing; explore with your tongue, and I mean tongue all over her body ( including the twin sisters, the rain forest and the pillows ). You need to learn what she likes... ask her.... and if she doesn't tell you, you will have to be patient and pay attention -"hints"- whenever you are intimate.

Answer 8

Like in South Park you need to go on a quest... for the clitoris.

Answer 9

get some licking going on get her hot and wet then she soon ***

Answer 10

Watch PORN!!!

I learnt everthing I know about sex watching porn...

Now i'm a sexual tyrannosaurus!!!