How can I get a person with NPD to admit they have the disorder and get help?

Question

NPD = narcisistic personality disorder. (Do a websearch for the details.) My wife appears to have this disorder, according to the licensed therapist. We are going through a divorce that appears to be caused by this condition. We have two young kids - ages 5 and 7. She does not see the destruction and harm she is doing. She really thinks everything is okay. I've always thought it was "normal" for her. All the experts - therapists, lawyers, priests - have all told us - especially her - that she has no grounds for a divorce and she is acting irrational. Living in CA, a no-fault divorce state, nothing can stop her from disolving the marriage. However, a mental disorder can stop her from getting any form of visitation or custody of the kids. Not good for NPD. Experts say it will be a bad backwards slide after the divorce for her. Experts are also agree that my kids will need therapy b/c of the negative impact NPD parents have on their kids and their psyche. Any advice will help.

Answer 1

I think you summed it up with one phrase -- "normal for her". There isn't much you can do to get her to admit she has this disorder. When coping with a person with narcissitic personality disorder, you are in an especially difficult situation! My simple and quick advice to you would be to focus on your children. They are at critical ages in their development and will need your consistency and your guidance. They will need an adult role model to demonstrate empathy for the world around them. I wish you luck.