I know this is an age-old question...but how did u or what did u do to get over a devastating breakup? We talked about marriage and kids and everything. Neither one of us cheated (as far as I know), I guess we just let other things become more important than our relationship.
2006-06-26 09:24:49 · 16 answers · asked by MsNic 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanks for sharing.
2006-06-26 09:39:13 · update #1
I believe you should take this moment to understand honestly why it didn't work. What do you really want out of your life and what you want to give to and receive from a partner are some questions to ask yourself. I found it helpful to write out what I want from a partner and then what I thought I should be for them and for myself. This won't immediately help but you'll be more prepared in the future. If this person is really as important as you say, then I think you should spend you time with friends and family only for a little while. In other words don't jump right back to dating. You need to heal and that takes time.
I have now been re-married at 35 for over 3 years and I'm happy.
2006-06-26 09:41:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you enjoy doing and do whatever you can to occupy your mind. There is a lot of truth to "Time heals all wounds!"
You will recover and life will get better day by day, one day at a time. I know how discouraging a breakup can be, but don't despair. There will be another and hopefully, he will love you and appreciate you more than the last one. Trust me, you will be fine. I know it hurts and it seems that all the time and effort you invested in the relationship is gone and wasted, but that is the risk you take in any relationship . Once again, you will be OK, you are not alone, and you just need to let it go. It is hard to start over again, but that is what we all need to do when something happens that doesn't work out the way we want it to. Have a little faith and be patient. Try to learn from your mistakes and from the experience.
2006-06-26 16:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by Oscar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First- you have to let go of him and the whys and should haves and accept that you werent meant to be past this time, then you change the places you go (stores, friends, etc) for a few weeks so there are no memories tugging at your heart strings, then you sign up for a college course or a community class that interests you and will keep your mind busy, join a new gym, call your girlfriends up and go to the movies or out somewhere fun. And just chill. Rediscover yourself and take the time to heal. I am sorry you are hurting.... but, it will get better.
2006-06-26 16:28:19 · answer #3 · answered by IvebeenAbadbadgrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way, Its better that it happened now than when kids and marriage were a part of the equation. Time is aboout all you can do. Break ups suck but they are a learning process! Everything happens for a reason, and it did too. You learned from it whether you see it or not. Just give it time it will quit hurting!
2006-06-26 16:30:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's rough, I'm not going to lie but just be patient with urself. It took me at least six months, I was so anxious & nervous and felt like I had to be with someone because that's what I knew but just be patient. Focus ur time & energy on urself, I know it may seem self absorbed and selfish but you need to heal. You haven't been a whole person since you were in a relationship. Take the time to focus on what you love, what makes you happy. Once you do this, you'll realize life can go on and it's not so bad. Good luck to you!
2006-06-26 16:31:33 · answer #5 · answered by ooolala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, until I went to therapy and began to understand that no matter what happens in life, I can not only handle it but I will be just fine, I couldn't get over heartbreaks.
Heartbreaks come in many shapes and sizes. It can be fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, fear of loneliness, loneliness, lots of things.
the real issue with so many of us is that we are unable to resolve conflict. Often times it isn't that more important things come into the picture or that someone cheated or whatever. It's our inability to set boundaries from the begining, resolving conflict in an effective manner and allowing love and support to flourish without suffocation, manipulation or co-dependency.
Just understand that in the future, you have to learn to resolve conflict as best as you can (I highly recommend couples counseling once it gets serious). People NEVER do this because everything's fine in the begining and then as soon as things start to get rough, they are completely unequipped to handle it.
You will be okay. Just say that to yourself every single day, all day. you'll be fine. We are all resilient
2006-06-26 16:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i haven't been in a serious relationship in over 5 years.. and i'm still not over the only long-term one i've had.. all i can say is it takes TIME
maybe you two breaking up was a blessing in disguise.. better to do it now rather than a divorce later (w/ kids involved) right?
get your mind off of it by chillin' with friends.. doin' stuff on your own.. and learning more about yourself
do what you want to do.. if you want to date other dudes.. then do your thing
you never know what will happen in the future.. maybe you two will end up getting back together? it's all on you
but remember. taking care of you first and foremost is the main priority
2006-06-26 16:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by do it movin' 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to Europe- by yourself.
Or do a smaller cheaper vacation by yourself. It's very freeing and you'll meet tons of people!
2006-06-26 16:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it took me about 3 month to get over mine i was really in love with this person and this person that i was in love with was my first true love and my last i have never trusted women every since then and it been over 15 years know i well always rember her but it get easier over time.
2006-06-26 16:31:06 · answer #9 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give yourself time...time to forgive, time to cry and time to heal.
It WILL get easier.
Pamper yourself, do some volunteer work and go for a lot of walks.
2006-06-26 16:27:26 · answer #10 · answered by dubbledee71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋