My father-in-law needs money, and he has asked me to take out a loan for him. He cant do it himself because hes not a citizen and banks here dont give loans to foriegners. That means Ill have to take a personal loan, give him the money, and wait for him to pay back the installments every month.
It is a sensitive time as well because my wife and I had some problems and she moved out 4 months ago, and we are in the process now of working things out again. Her parents are currently helping in convincing her to come back home, but things are still not certain from this point.
As you can see, this is a very bad timing from him to ask for this kind of favour. Whats even worse is that if I turn him down things will change dramatically! Unfortunately, I have to turn him down because I cant risk him not paying back the loan and carry a bad record with the central bank. Plus I might need the money for a rainy day!
What do you think? What should I tell him? Anything else I should let him know?
2006-06-26 09:23:55 · 24 answers · asked by Zwerg 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Believe it or not, I understand why NO is so hard, especially if you want to get back together with your wife and they are currently your cheerleaders to that end. It also depends on what he needs the money for...if you are going to go through extreme lengths you should be allowed to know what the money is going towards. If it's something you would want in the event of a default on the payment you might consider it. If he won't tell you then you have an out already that even your wife would understand. If you know what it is for and still just don't want to...there is a Bible verse that pretty much states usery among friends is not wise. Meaning if you loan your friends money...(in this case family)...it's stupid...not wise, just bad! You should instead give it to them withouth expecting it back or just say NO. If you can afford some to help out (if it's a necessity like food or something) then just give it to him and say give it back when you can. If it's more than that and you just CAN'T do it...explain that it's just against your personal principles and that you don't want to jeopardize your relationship so you will try to help him find other means of getting the money (i.e. a second job or obtaining a loan through a financial institition from his native country). Even if it can't be done, you offering alternate help will be appreciated.
2006-06-26 09:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by tynett 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Just be truthful about it being a bad timing and you have your own life right now to deal with. If he really need the money, he will think of something else other than having you carry all the burden. He will understand it, if he is a reasonable and openminded one. But if not, the more that you should be cautious in lending him money. It is not a thing you should be guilty about. You are just being practical. How about your other brother or sister? Ask around and help him find someone who can help him better.
2006-06-26 09:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by Joy RP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family or no family, NO, NO, NO!!! I cannot stress that enough!! No matter how much a person says they will pay you back, it's probably not going to happen. My very own aunt, who was like a second mother to me, screwed me over and I had to file bankruptcy (quite a number of years ago)! These types of situations will more than likely end up sour!! I'm sorry if your marriage depends on it, but if your wife doesn't come back to you based on your answer to this situation, maybe she isn't worth spending your time on! I don't see how her parents' situation is your problem. It's one thing to loan someone money from your own pocket, but when you're asked to go out on a limb like this, it is highly NOT recommended! Good luck!
2006-06-26 09:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by hunniebabie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy is taking advantage of the situation. This is really a form of blackmail. I can guarantee you once the money is in his hand you will never see a penny repaid as he will think you owe him this for doing you a favor with the wife. Turn him down and take your chances the wife will come back because she loves you not because someone talked her into it. It would be interesting to know why she left. What do you need to do to make her want to come back?
2006-06-26 10:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by c.nolan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help to the extent you can/you think is reasonable, see if there's some non-monetary ways you can help him with whatever situation he's in. If he's broke all the time, there might be a reason behind it, like gambling, if he just doesn't have a job, don't plan on seeing the money again. But, if you consider him 'family', do what your heart thinks is best...
2006-06-26 09:27:24 · answer #5 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off, don't do it. just say that you just had to sign for a personal loan for your brother or someone on your side of the family so then the bank won't approve the current loan that your father in law needs!
2006-06-26 09:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by kawika712 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not his personal financer and have the right to be concerned that he may or may not pay it back. Tell him you applied for the loan and the place called you up and informed you that you were denied. Leave it at that.
2006-06-26 09:30:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It if very difficult to turn down someone in need. It is also difficult to turn down your father-in-law down because of the situation with your wife. But, I would have to say no if you are not comfortable with it. Good Luck!
2006-06-26 09:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lie and tell him your request for a loan was denied due to questionable marks on your credit report. Tell him it may take up to 6 months to have them stricken from your report.
2006-06-26 09:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's your dad and if he's like my dad, he would give me money if I asked him for it, no questions asked. You don't explain well enough to me why you are unable to do so. Saving money for a rainy day? This is your dad's rainy day. Don't let him down - obviously he needs you
2006-06-26 09:30:32 · answer #10 · answered by theletterQ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋