ahhh wedding season- yes i get to meet the ex- me and my partner have been together over 2 years and they have been split for 3- she emails and texts him still and on the odd saturday night has rung up pissed and crying.
Im not a figther i am laid back but i know although its not my wedding- all eyes will be on me- its my partners friends and im nervous- how shall I take it, and how shall i act with the ex?
2006-06-26 08:57:33 · 31 answers · asked by charley_chunk 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Be classy about it. Do you trust your partner? If yes, then you have nothing to worry about. The ex can kick and scream and b**ch all she wants - but all it will succeed in doing is making her stand out as the immature fool that she is.
Don't necessarily take crap - if she blatantly disrespects you a witty quip should quiet her, if not, give your partner a big 'ol kiss on the mouth, whilst hands are wandering over delectable buttocks.
The other part of my answer is less relevant to the question and more to do with your sanity. If the ex is to remain a "friend" with your partner, and if your partner truly respects and cares about you, wouldn't you and your partner be well served if your partner firmly outlined boundaries with the ex? I.e: not drunk dials, no sob stories, no jealousy b.s, etc. This ex sounds obsessed and I don't know how you can be friends with someone who is still mad for you...and maintain your sanity. It might be time for the rope to be cut and for you and your partner to move on and leave this head case in the dust.
2006-06-26 09:03:54 · answer #1 · answered by G_Elisabeth 5 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Just have a couple of drinks and try not to worry about her. I know. Easier said than done. Here's what I would do. I would try to make friends with her.(only for the night) Just so that I could get her hammered to the point that she makes an *** out of herself or passes out. Either way. You'll be looking and feeling better than her. And if you don't want to do that. Then I would just tell your partner that you would appreciate them not spending too much time with the ex because you don't really know to many people at the wedding and you just don't feel comfortable sitting alone for a long time. You can be honest or get her trashed. Getting her trashed should be the easiest. Good Luck. Just remember that it's only one day and if you can't get her drunk then get yourself drunk.
2006-06-26 09:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he wouldn't have talked to you concerning the youngsters assembly his lady friend first. You do not have the correct to evaluate HIS individual lifestyles, his is your EX, that means he would not normally need to discuss with you when he has a resolution to make. So what if the kids comprehend that their father is seeing someone else it's HIS existence and he has the right to do so. His dwelling preparations or personallity has nothing to do with it. I think you convey all of this up more due to the fact you are jealous (or else you may have stuck to the field and not gone off on a tangent about how he lives) and now not quite considering as a lot about your youngsters as you declare you might be. Get over it. He has a girlfriend, your youngsters are going to meet her finish of story.
2016-08-08 23:01:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh God, I am in the same boat. My partners ex calls him every week and cos' they have 2 kids between them she uses that as an excuse all time. I hate her loads and we do not get on. He left her for me and she has never got over it. Even tho she recently got re-married and has had another baby, it's so sad but the best thing to do is act as if u couldn't give a shite about her or anyone else as long as your bf doesn't desert u on the day, you will be fine!!
Good luck! Sometimes it's such a hard position to be in and I wonder why I put up with it....
2006-06-26 09:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by rockin mermaid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just act as you would with any business acquaintance. Be polite and smile. Make conversation if you feel like it and politely excuse yourself if you don't. This is someone else's wedding, so it won't and shouldn't be your day for any attentions. If she starts anything you just firmly but politely tell her that this isn't the time or place for a silly, immature scene; and if she feels as though there is some unfinished business then she is welcome to come by your place or meet somewhere to discuss it. Just enjoy the festivities and leave the petty X bullcrap for the children.
2006-06-26 09:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to reign in your temper, no matter what, don't lose it. try to avoid her as much as possible, and if you're forced to interact with her be v. polite, but rather cold. Your the better woman and you need to show it. Make sure what your wearing looks flattering and most of all, don't say *anything* negative about her while your there. Treat her like she's an insect, something annoying and there, but not worth your notice.
And when you get home you can always lock yourself in the bathroom and ***** in the mirror. :)
2006-06-26 09:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Aingeal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself, anything else and she wins....wait a second, why are you even concerned about her? Oh, yeah, she might want him back. I would let him know in no uncertain terms what is expected from HIM. I would say that dancing with her, taking a stroll with her, just about anything that even implies attention from him at her, these things are not acceptable from hi. If he sits there all quiet and seemingly confused in her presence, you will have some indication of what may be going on in his head. But you must remember that she will be the one trying to get a rise out of you.
PS: If she asks your permission to dance with him just say "I prefer you don't," if he does anyway or argues on her behalf, just smile and be as nivce as possible. Do not indicate yes or no at that point. Be ready!!! But remember that no one is worth fighting over if they are palying games with you.
2006-06-26 09:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by Iamstitch2U 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be civil and polite and don't mention that she is your partner's ex girlfriend. If you are introduced, just say hello and your name and how great the party is. No need to mingle long.
It seems like your real concern is her continued contact that causes her to be so distressed and worries you about him. She may be insecure and desires the approval even though they are exes. It doesn't sound like they are still real friends. He should ideally move on and concentrate on your relationship, maybe he just doesn't want to hurt her feelings so he doesn't just cut her off completely. Good luck.
2006-06-26 09:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Aemilia753 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be confident and polite. Treat her as if you want to be her friend. The term "kill them with kindness" was never so applicable as it is to meeting ex's. If you act jealous and posessive of your partner, his ex will see that as weakness in your relationship and secretly like the fact that you let her bother you. If you trust your partner, let them hang out talk whatever without you looking over his shoulder. Chances are he left her for a reason and will walk away by himself out of boredom.
2006-06-26 09:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be gracious, be kind, and don't rub salt in her wounds.
My ex's first wife came to his mother's funeral in 1993, she sat alone on one side of the church. I could see she still loved my then husband, I felt for her and her situation. I crossed the aisle and sat with her throughout the service.
I led the greeting by holding out my hand, my reluctant husband followed suit and shook her hand. Though he didn't want to.
Now, just like her, I am the ex wife and one day, maybe number three wife, will be gracious toward me.
I can live with myself, and know I did the right thing, even though he bitched about her all the way home.
Just in case it's your turn one day, think ahead and be gracious.
And even if you keep him, still be kind to her.
2006-06-26 09:14:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋