Don't You Think that We Should still have kids in our young 20s?

Question

i know that people are getting married later and later...26+ and mid 30s even...but it seems so terrible that if you want to start a family 30 seems old...by time your first child is in college you will be 50!...[yes being older you will be more responsible and have more resources at your disposal [ie. money] but it seems you will have less energy..to play with kids...there will be more of a generational gap..AND NOT ONLY DO YOU have to worry about raising your kids but say your kids are around 10, 7, and 5 ...that means you are around 40 and YOUR PARENTS are getting to be in their 60s...so you have to start taking care of them!

i mean i'd much rather have 3 kids in my early 20s...that way i get through with them sooner! lol get my life back...get them off to college and still be fairly "young" enough to enjoy the rest of my life.

what are your thoughts?

Answer 1

We started, on purpose, at 20yrs old. We wanted a large family, so it made since to start early. I still have tons of energy unlike a lot of my older counterparts.

Answer 2

Everyone is different. However, I think you need to get over the whole "young cool" parent thing. It is much more important to be stable and responsible when having children and most people are not either of those things in their early 20s. I am 28 and am just beginning to contemplate having children. Having them any earlier wouldn't be fair to them or me. How am I supposed to send kids to college without an education? How am I supposed to raise them well when I spend all my hours working at a new job? or two jobs?

This is something that both people (mom AND dad) need to be ready for. And these days, I have to tell you, 60 isn't really that old. With medical advances, people live healthy and well into their 80s and 90s, with that getting older each year.

And if you're thinking about "getting your life back" then you are still too immature to have children.

Answer 3

Some people don't find Mr. or Mrs. right until they are older because they are either working on their careers or they just haven't found the right one. I don't think that it really matters when you start having a family. If you are in love and raise your kids right, your kids aren't going to care how old you are when they graduate or go off to college. What they are going to remember is if you were a good parent or not.

I'm 30 and have an 11 month old girl. I wouldn't have it any other way. I am glad that I waited, since I don't think I would have been mature enough in my 20's to raise a child.

Answer 4

It's because society has changed and people aren't expected to grow up as fast. 40 or 50 years ago, it was way easier to just get a good job right out of high school. So most people married young and started having kids by their early or mid twenties. Now, everything is so expensive and minimum wage has barely increased despite inflation. Young adults are gettting increasingly dependent on their parents because it's much harder to make it on your own, let alone raise a family. These days, you often have to go to college and get a degree to make decent money. And people are basically having an "extended adolescence" while they go to school. They are often still living with their parents (or at least getting financial help from them), and "living the college life" (partying and hanging out with their friends) so they are NOT mature enough or financially ready to have kids. More people are delaying both marriage and kids now, and not having kids until around age 30 or even older.

Answer 5

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

I started a family late because I did not find someone I wanted to marry and have kids with until I was in my late 30s. I'm pushing 50 now and play basketball, swim, bike-ride and many other things with my 7 year old son. These days, 50 is not "old," (Carly Simon just turned 61 and she looks younger than I do!) and the age that people do start getting rickety is being pushed later and later. Yes, I wish I could have started earlier, but that just wasn't in the cards. As for getting your kids out of the nest so you can have the rest of your life, it's a wash on either side.

Answer 6

My dad was 54 when I was born. I am 18 and he is 72 now... I would not have it any other way. Yes I understand what you are saying.... its hard sometimes when peoples dads are taking them camping and I know that if my dad got on the ground getting him up would be hard lol. But you know what... I have always learned to really appreciate my parents more because I may not have as much time as other kids. When my dad almost died last year it was really hard on me thinkin he wouldnt see me married or whatever but he made it through and I appreciate him that much more. I know plenty of 26 yr olds that have just hit financial responsibility and maturity to raise a child. Would you rather have parents that are 20 and cant afford anything and still act half retarded or parents who are 30 and can provide for you?

Answer 7

I chose to wait. I am 32 now and also still single. I would actually be married first before having a child. that also means that if i can't find the right guy for me, i'll be waiting a long time to have a kid. my sister is 36 and is now having her first. you are absolutely right about being much older and trying to keep up with a young kid. but i think finding the right guy is priority because i do not want to rush and think i need to have a kid sooner and just grab the first man that comes along. if the right guy doesnt come along, then i may just adopt. the world is way too overpopulated anyway. i also think people are waiting longer and longer now because both people are working and being more independent, thus putting the family planning aside.

Answer 8

I'm 32 and I have a 1 1/2 year old and hoping in a wee bit to have another one. This to me was perfect. I had so much fun in my 20s....travelling, partying, establishing myself. That once I got married I was good to go. No regrets!! Whatever works for the person. A lot of the time you can't project what your life will hold..so then you don't have the choice to have kids early or late. You might not find the right person until later in life. It all works out and there are good points to be Young and old. Cheers!

Answer 9

My two older boys were born before I was 21, because I thought the same as you. I have since had two more children; when I was 29 and 31. I find exactly the thing you are talking about as a later parent - no energy!! Don't know if I used it all on the olders or if I'm just old.......lol!

Go for it!! You know yourself better than anyone else. You don't need to convince the world that what you're doing is right, just your kids!!

Answer 10

I had my son at 20 and 10 months later, I got pregnant again. I wanted my children while I was young (like my mother) so that I could play with them. My mom climbed trees with us and taught us tricks on the trampoline, she was great! Don't get me wrong, she was a parent first and foremost but she's seven years younger than my dad and he didn't have the energy to play with my siblings and myself the way my mother did.
That being said, I think it would be selfish for people to have children for that reason if they were not ready. I was in the Navy and married to a Marine. We owned a home, we didn't like to go out and drink/party, to didn't spend frivolously, we were also more mature than most are age. I think that you need to get things in order before you have children. As parents, we want to give our kids the world and therefore, we can't be having them is we're in college and not working or we're not married and living with our parents. I think it is very responsible to wait until you're ready. My husband and I just happened to be ready earlier than most people we know.

Answer 11

My parents were older when they had me, but I think that sometimes makes it harder to relate to what a teen or young adult is going through. Yeah they were probably more stable financially. However, I am married and am about to have baby # 2, and I'm not even 21 yet.(I waited till after I graduated high school) I guess it really all depends on the couple. We were ready for kids. Some may not be ready til their 30's or so.