Should it be mentioned or not? I imagine the length of time the child was in the womb is a factor too - but I don't know how to act. Would you ever send cards?
2006-06-26 08:25:30 · 15 answers · asked by Think.for.your.self 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
One time I had a college professor that I did not know to well - but liked - miscarry.
I have had a close family member miscary.
Because I am a guy - I never know what to say. I don't want to send a card and hurt the person if they want the matter dropped, or not send anything and risk being insensitive. So I have done nothing. Help me out?
2006-06-26 08:35:03 · update #1
I absolutely would send cards. To many women, who are expecting a baby, to lose it is to have a death occur. If the woman wanted this baby, then she will mourn for the child that will never be. One day, she is painting her nursery, the next day, she looks at an empty nursery and think about that baby that might have lived there. One day, she has a heart beating within her, the next day, there is nothing. That is definitely a loss, and any and all support would not go unappreciated. Its even worse when she sees other women holding their babies, and wonder why can't she hold hers.
2006-06-26 08:30:55 · answer #1 · answered by puppyfred 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It depends on your relationship. She doesn't want everyone she knows knocking on the door, but she doesn't want her loss to go unrecognized, either. She is still mourning for this. It is a loss and should not go unmentioned--unless, of course, she makes it known (though her partner or a close friend) that she doesn't want to discuss it.
So, if she's a close friend, go over to the house and be prepared to spend as much time as she wants, talking about anything she wants. It may be tearful and painful, but that's what friends are for.
If she's a co-worker, or some other casual acquaintance, next time you see her, say, "I'm so sorry for your loss." Avoid anything like, "It's for the best" or "I'm sure next time will be better," because those will only make her feel worse. "Sorry for your loss" is enough, and will be appreciated. I think a card would be awkward.
2006-06-26 08:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT depends on your relationship with her. If you are the spouse, you will provide her as much as support and love as you possibly can, so that her loss may be shared and burden reduced to the extent possible. If you are less intimate, it will really depend upon your relationship with her. A card may not be a bad idea, but if you dont know the person, ask people who are close to her what you should do before you do it
May the Lord make the pain go away for this lady whoever she is.. may the Lord make her forget the experience as much as possible. God bless the poor woman!!
2006-06-26 08:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by NQV 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cards? I don't think so, it also depends on your relationship with the woman. As a friend, empathize. As the father of the child, empathize. The length of time doesn't matter to a woman, most women feel like they have lost a child when they miscarry. She will most likely want to talk about it, do so if she brings it up.
2006-06-26 08:31:32 · answer #4 · answered by dixie_til_i_die 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be patient and present and follow her cues and leads. if you send a card, don't necessarily mention the miscarriage, but do mention that you care about her tremendously and would like her to know that you'd like to help her in any way she'd like , no matter what it that may mean. Chances are that she doesn't even know how she needs to be treated right now. Just go with her flow.
2006-06-26 08:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by JayBeeDee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when my mom miscarried at 1 1/2 months we never mentioned it, but there are the occasional people that will come and say I'm sorry if there is anything i can do it just mad my mom more upset so all i can is just comfort and try not to mention it a lot .
2006-06-26 08:35:18 · answer #6 · answered by lysa4208 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After my miscarriage, my husband's company sent me the hugest bouquet of small white roses. That was very sweet.
I've sent a card to a woman who miscarried.
I hated it when people were hokey about it.
2006-06-26 08:47:13 · answer #7 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With compassion. Let the person who experienced the miscarriage take the lead. Sometimes you just have to listen, not offer suggestions, advice or anything....just listen, quietly, compassionately.
2006-06-26 08:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by Andrea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compassion, love, friendship and respect.
I wouldn't send a card. I would send a letter. Or I would visit.
2006-06-26 08:59:25 · answer #9 · answered by qandafromnyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love and Respect
2006-06-26 08:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by Myself 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋