Wedding reception- is it ok if the grooms parents pay for the alcohol while we pay for the rest of the reception?
2006-06-26 07:58:20 · 17 answers · asked by Bobbi A 2 in Food & Drink ➔ Beer, Wine & Spirits
Why not just provide an Open Bar where they can buy their own. I don't think parents should be responsible. Your providing a common thing for those who drink.
2006-06-26 08:02:35 · answer #1 · answered by AL 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on what you're trying to accomplish. Does your daughter want a very formal, impressive wedding? If so, you need to bite the bullet and pay for the booze.
It is traditional for the bride's family to pick up the entire tab. Depending on how the groom's family feels, it could cause hard feelings between your new in-laws. The groom's family pays for the rehersal dinner, and there is usually a hefty alcohol tab there as well. Did you offer to pay for the alcohol there to help cover their expenses? If not, I would consider it rude to ask the favor in return.
There are other options - run a cash bar, have a non-alcoholic reception, or hold the reception at a location where you can bring your own alcohol, and let your guests know that, if they want to drink, they must bring their own.
However, I must tell you that, after I put out $100 on a wedding gift, I'd be insulted to be told that I'll be buying my own drinks at the reception. In my opinion, if you can't afford the bar, don't have such an elaborate wedding. I've seen many brides make this mistake. They try to have something very formal and impressive (lots of limos, expensive dresses, impressive hall and/or chapel, tons of flowers), and then blow it on something simple like a cash bar. It comes off as very cheesy.
I went to a wedding like this. Everything was very classy, but when it came to dinner, everyone got chicken - no choices - just dry, bland chicken breasts. It really ruined the whole atmosphere. The food was really cheap and poorly done.
You have a choice - pay for everything and hold this impressive wedding that you really can't afford, ask for someone else to pay for the booze and run the risk of looking unsophisticated, or hold a more modest wedding and use the savings to pay for the alcohol.
My personal advice would be for the couple to elope and take the money that would have been wasted on the wedding and put a HUGE downpayment on a house. But, that's just how I feel about weddings.
2006-06-26 09:03:52 · answer #2 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are within your right to pay for as little or as much of your daughter's wedding as you wish. If you do not wish to pay for alcohol, mention this early enough to give the groom and his family time to make the necessary adjustments and reservations.
Is the main reason you're unwilling to pay for alcohol because of cost, or because you are against drinking? Please specify in details if you have a chance.
One thing to consider though is that a wedding with no alcohol can be almost as unpleasant as a wedding with way too much alcohol. Many adults enjoy a glass of wine with a good meal, so there is a chance that many of the guests (especially those who are not from the US) will notice its absence during the main course. A common compromise is to offer beer and wine, but not hard alcohol. This will allow your guests to enjoy a glass or two of wine without you feeling like the reception is a boozy bender.
2006-06-26 08:10:02 · answer #3 · answered by Fred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I'm old fashioned, plus a guy, but isn't it the brides parents pay for the wedding & the grooms parents pay for the reception/rehersal? Well it's all non-traditional now anyway, so they aren't chipping in? All that aside, tell her no! It's no big deal to have a cash bar reception or a cash bar after a certain pre-paid tab runs out. I've been to super cheap weddings with tons of free alcohol & super ritzy ones with cash bars. It's no big deal.
2006-06-26 21:47:47 · answer #4 · answered by djack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it is. Just talk to her and tell her that you will pay for the whole reception. And you would like for her to have the grooms parents pay for the alcohol. Sounds pretty generous..you are going to be paying out a lot more than them.
2006-06-26 08:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your paying for every thing else. Here is an idea get the bride and groom to pay for it. It is a new age were the brides family does not have to pay for a dowry any more. My Auntie charged $500.00 per person fora wedding gift per person, to even go to the wedding. Then at the reception she went from table to table to pick up the checks. Hopefully your daughter wont do this it is just they have to start walking on her own 2 feet.
2006-06-27 06:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by caitie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An open bar or a cash bar might be the best thing for you to do in this case. If you think the groom's parents will be receptive to the suggestion of them paying for the alcohol than discuss it with them. If you think that will ruffle their feathers, then just have the cash bar instead.
2006-06-26 15:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you don't want to pay for it, it is your responsibility. That's how it goes, always has. As for the person that said it should be all the groom's responsibility because he wants to marry her, I'm sure she wants to marry him too or they wouldn't be getting married. Anyway, the brides family is supposed to pay for the wedding and the reception. That means the whole reception whether you want to or not. I'm sure his family will supply alcohol at the rehearsal dinner, which they are responsible for.
2006-06-26 08:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by pumpjackraiders 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typically the only thing the grooms parents are supposed to pay for is the rehearsal dinner. Unless you know them really well don't even ask them to pay for the alcoholic beverages. Just have a closed bar if you really don't want to pay for it. Or have drink tickets and provide one or two for each guest and after that they have to pay for the rest. I would tell the grooms parents that you will be having a closed bar and if they don't accept that tell them they can pay for an open bar. Whatever you do don't ask directly for them to pay for it. That is not their responsibility.
What you really should do is set a budget for your daughter and allow her to spend the budgeted amount as she sees fit. It is her day and she should be allowed to allocate the funds.
2006-06-26 08:15:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If being involved in an alcoholic setting violates your personal principles, you are under no obligation, of any kind, to pay for it. If your daughter has no more respect for your moral principles than to try to obligate you to pay, then you have no responsiblity whatsoever to pay for anything involved in the wedding. Simply stand up for your rights and let everyone know what you will and will not do. This is your right. Too many people, parents included, allow Bridezillas to get away with terrible behavior during wedding planning. It has to stop with someone. Why not you?
2006-06-26 08:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by In Honor of Moja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't see why not. i never think its fair how the bride's family gets stuck with all the costs (except the ring) anyways. they should have to pay for SOME things, and if you want it to be the alcohol, then so be it! it never hurts to ask, it is not rude, and if they say no then it will be up to your daughter to find a way to finance that. maybe instead of having an open bar your daughter could just buy a lot of beer and cheap champagne, this will be a lot less expensive, and since there will be no hard alcohol you won't have to worry about anyone getting too trashed!
2006-06-26 08:05:11 · answer #11 · answered by neverneverland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋