Okay, I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half now. The mother of his child is this ghetto wacked out wannabe black girl, that gives us hell. For a year now I have been riding back over 100 miles with him to take his son home, but last Sunday, she started to yell at me, threaten me, and opened my car door like she was going to pull me out or something....
Now she did not do anything physically to me, there for I did not lay a hand on her.
my question is how do I deal with this unreasonable person? I am a mother myself, and I could not see myself acting like this in front children, in fact if my childs father was in her life, I would love for her to have a caring mother figure around when he had her.
please note: if she touches me I will hurt her, and call the police. My mama did not raise any punks, I just did not want to give her a reason to hold out on visitation.
2006-06-26 07:35:22 · 19 answers · asked by cookies_n_cream0218 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
why would you say that? ForgetVegas?
2006-06-26 07:40:04 · update #1
I am not going to stop riding back with him..this is something that we have been doing for a while now...I think that she needs to grow up.
2006-06-26 07:43:25 · update #2
Ohh- honey I been witht he chocalte...my baby daddy was chocolate...
2006-06-26 07:44:13 · update #3
ohh and he did step in...but he was also handling her mother who was yellin too, it was a large scene, with many spectators.
2006-06-26 07:45:54 · update #4
I would not put her child in harms way...she needs to be a responsible adult. Plus my boyfriend does not feel like I should stop riding either. SHE is putting her child in harms way, not I. I am not VIOLENT towards her, nor will I be. If she physically attacks me I will exact proper force in order to enable her and call the police, but as far aas bending and bowing to her because she can not accept the fact that he is not coming back, it is not happening...what am I supposed to not marry this man or move forward with our lives just because she can not be mature....I do not think so.
2006-06-26 10:06:49 · update #5
Wow! not a good situation. Here are a couple of ideas....first, get a video camera and have it set up in the car so it can record everything. NEVER start anything! Stay calm and don't start yelling. If it gets physical, make sure SHE hits you first, then it becomes self defence on your part and you will have the video to prove that and she could end up in jail for assault.
At that point, have a restraining order put on her and make sure your boyfreinds child custody lawyer gets a copy of the video.
2006-06-26 07:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by David T 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let your boyfriend take his child home alone.
It would seem that the most important thing here is that the child is protected. If your presence causes a negative response, even if the negative response is unreasonable, than there is no reason for you to go. The father of the child can drop off the child alone thereby minimizing the chance of the child being placed in a position such as the one you describe.
This situation is not about you. Don't view it as about you. Instead take the perspective of, "How can I help protect the one person in this situation who can not protect them self, the child?"
PS. If she did touch you and you hurt her you can not only be held criminally liable but you can cause problems in your boyfriends ability to interact with his child.
UPDATE - Your refusal to stop riding with him because, "she needs to grow up" shows your priorities are about your enjoyment and not the child's protection and comfort
2006-06-26 14:54:25 · answer #2 · answered by Answer 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother yourself, seems reason enough to set a good example for all children, no matter what another woman does! You are lowering yourself to her standards if you decide to physically fight with this woman, not to mention, it's against the law! Of coarse she can keep her child away from you then! If her child's father has you with him, she can get a restraining order against you and he will not be allowed to have you around on visitations! If this woman threatens you, follow the law, file a complaint, and for goodness sake: Do Not restore to childish behavior! You are an adult! Your boyfriend should have stepped in and not allowed things to go this far! He is the father and he should be dealing with his Ex- girlfriend!
2006-06-26 14:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by bpember744@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation and all you can do is be an adult about the situation. The only difference with me is the mother called the house to see when we were dropping her son off and I called her back, well she left a nasty message on my machine calling me every name in the book, childish. All we can do is be the bigger person and show the child our love any way. The most important thing I made sure was to never mad mouth his mother in front of him and even I swallowed my pride and would ask him how his beatch of a mother was doing, just so he wouldn't feel the tension of me against his mother and that's all I could do. When she does lay a hand on you, I hope you get your gurl!!!
2006-06-26 14:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by sexzbich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation, did you try contacting her by email or letter and telling her all of these things and that you don't want to fight? Try talking to her like that to see if she will respond in kind and you guys may be able to work out a resolution, yes you don't get along but you don't have to fight, especially in front of the kids. Good luck and I hope you guys can have a peaceful resolution to this situation. By the way, I'm horrified about the "coon" comment that the other jerk just made. To him I say grow up.
2006-06-26 14:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by Tact is highly overrated 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand 1000% on how you feel. My boyfriend has baby mom to. And I know it kills you inside not to knock next week through her a.s.s. But the best thing in your situation is not go. Let him take his child home by himself. Now I know that is a lot of miles for him to travel by his self but that seems like the only reasonable thing to do. Unless you just suck it up and deal with the *********.
2006-06-26 14:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by ronce_1118 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know the reason for her anger? If yes, just try not to irritate her. If no, then let your boyfriend go it alone. If he's a man that won't be a problem. You shouldn't be dealing with the ex, he should.
2006-06-26 14:41:18 · answer #7 · answered by Vanessa B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! If she hit you, You need to swollow your pride and walk away, especially if there are children present. Your B/F can then in turn use this in an attempt to gain custody. Other than that just stay away and don't give her a reason to come after you.
2006-06-26 14:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by salembog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself, and dont act down to her level. Just remember, this is how it is going to be...she will always be in your life as long as you are w/ him.You cant change her. So you either accept the situation the way it is..or move on...
2006-06-26 14:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by jh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just call the police she just try to scary you and whenever you go there make sure to call the police when she act like that and don;t touch her she mit plan that up for you
2006-06-26 14:40:32 · answer #10 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋