I am dating a guy who is mildly depressed. I have never done this before. Usually the guy will ask me out on dates, etc. However, my boyfriend is shy and gets depressed. Is it okay to call him and invite him out? I love being with him. But I also don't want to come across as a nag or as someone who just wont leave him alone. What should I do?
2006-06-26 06:42:41 · 9 answers · asked by bellacervantes 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
The tactful way to handle this one is to pay him a visit in person. Call first and ask if it's cool to come by, and in the course of your visit with him, suggest that the two of you either go out later while you are there, or at some future time when you can both get together and have some fun together. If you can get comfortable on a short visit with him, it might just relax him enough to say a yes or a no to the idea of actually going out with you, or as a couple. Dropping in to say hi to him probably breaks some old rules, but in person like that, you could sort of read his mood and then you would know if you actually wanted to go further with him. The sooner you better understand his moods the better, as if you are with him, you will be on the other end of these moods, and you do not want them to be a bother to you. One person upset is enough. By being loving and supportive to him as a person first, you may find you want him to be more than a boyfriend to you. All of this takes time and maturity and lots of love and respect between the two of you. If he is too quiet and just makes you feel really awkward inside, then step back, wish him well, maybe tell him sometime you'll call him later in the week, and leave quietly. He needs to know he isn't going to throw you for a loop if his moods aren't right or if he's feeling down. The steadier you can be the quicker he can reset his compass on something besides his moods. Good luck to you getting to know him better. The better you know anyone, the quicker you will know exactly how to handle yourself in any circumstance. Have a great summer, no matter what, now, and sent with love from Chris, in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 yrears old.)
2006-06-26 06:59:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a person who as suffered from varying degrees of depression over the years I say yes. I needed people to help me get myself out of the house. Just understand that if he's having a really bad day he may not feel like going out or even being around someone. But if he feels like company hang out with him and consider that a date! Being around people, anyone, is hard when you are depressed, but it always makes you feel a little better to know that someone cares enough to try.
2006-06-27 12:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by bamagal061 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if u like the man, and u know he likes u, then asking him on a date would be ok... I think i had the same problem your friend has and inviting him, in my opinion, is the best way to go. If u see he feels ankward about goning on a DATE with u, u might wanna try using ather excuses to meet him.. like a cofee, or an aniversary, or a special thing... tell him it means a lot to u to meet him on that particular ocasion...
Hope i've been of some help
Vlad
2006-06-26 06:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by TheVlad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say there's no harm in asking him to do something together. I would be specific in what you wanted to do as far as time and place because it makes it a lot easier for them to say yes if it's something they are comfortable with. If you get a lot of no's, then that may be a clue that you're nagging, but if he says he can't for now but would like to go out another time, then just keep trying. He will probably appreciate your effort.
2006-06-26 06:48:28 · answer #4 · answered by torreyc73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't suggest being in a relationship with someone while he is depressed (even mildly) but i do encourage that you help them out, as friends, because if not, this can affect your relationship. and yes, it is a good way to invite them out. a depressed person usually locks himself, and when you try to take them out -- it actually makes them feel better. how do i know? i was there also. friends had to pull me out -- but i feel better not because i get to go outside, but because i realized that i have friends concerned enough to help me.
2006-06-26 07:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, it would be wonderful for you to ask him out. He is depressed, after all. Like most depressed people, he may be prone to withdrawing from social activities and to isolating himself, even from the people who care about him. Keep him engaged in fun things to do. He probably needs counseling and perhaps even medication to cope with his depression; you should urge him to seek assistance. In the meantime, keeping him involved in the outside world is probably one of the best things you can do for him.
2006-06-26 06:50:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would be great to call him and ask him out. This may be just what he needs. You may be the balance between his depression and his social life. Give him as much patience as you can, he will need this also. Hope this helps. Thanks.
2006-06-26 06:55:44 · answer #7 · answered by CorpsmanUp! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him at least once. depression will make people not want to be out or get motivated. maybe if you ask him it will cheer him up a bit, maybe give him a little boost of confidence and give him the motivation to go out.
2006-06-26 06:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes by all means , ask him out , if he is depressed he may
not ask you out at all,and by asking him out you will lift his spirits
2006-06-26 06:59:25 · answer #9 · answered by BONE° 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋